Hello everyone on this wikia, I am Pwndulquiorra, a somewhat newer member of this wikia, though not actually new to wikia as a whole. Let me start by saying that I'm sorry for waiting so long to update this profile (obviously this is directed at the unlikely though still possible two or three of you that actually pay any attention to my edits or talk page or anything related to me at all).
Personality as a whole[edit | edit source]
First, let me start by saying that my personality is, between the way I was raised and the general mental disorder that I happen to harbor that keeps me held hostage, somewhat complex, though I'm also easy to understand.
Well, first off, let me start off by saying that I'm a bit unconfident. I've actually kept myself from interacting with a lot of people because of mental jabs and hits to my confidence that I keep taking for one reason or another. This means that I'm somewhat unsure of myself and my choices, which usually shows itself through my indecision when it comes to choosing; for example, in most of my favorite manga, anime and video game series, rather than having a set of characters that I like and don't like in varying degrees, I actually either like many equally or dislike many equally; my most prominent aspect in this case is my aptitude for picking draws when it comes to top character selections; I'm usually seen making a three-way tie between three separate characters that I like for one reason or another. The sole exception in this case is the Dead or Alive character, Ayane, who has been my favorite Dead or Alive character since I played as her in the video game Ninja Gaiden Sigma 2, though I will say that Ryu Hayabusa and Hitomi are a close third and second respectively.
Despite that, though, admittedly, I can be a bit of a knowitall at times, usually when it comes to topics that I like and am obsessed with (Red vs. Blue joining that list rather recently). This means that I may speak out of turn and say something that someone with my lack of authority usually wouldn't say and for that I would like to apologize in advance if I come off as annoying or disrespectful because that's not what I'm trying to relay.
- "You have failed me, Brain!"
- —Deadpool, Marvel Comics
Despite sometimes being a knowitall, whenever I get something wrong or fail to do something of an intellectual nature, whether it's a problem I need to solve on my homework, failing a test or just not knowing things before my family, I feel stupid and can't seem to stop myself from becoming depressed at that point. I guess my mental disorder is partly responsible for that but I've also always been really hard on myself (though recently it's more than ever). This is actually the reason I don't like my edits getting reverted.
On top of that, I'm also very begrudging; whenever I feel someone has wronged me in some way, I hold it against for the longest of times; this is the reason that I hate certain fictional characters, cannot stand most people I went to middle school with and can't seem to get over my own mistakes. At first I thought this was because I felt those people did intentionally mean to make me want to kill myself; however, recently, that has proven to be false: a couple of years ago, I think I was 8, I was at my Dad's house (he divorced my mother four years prior) and for a reason that I don't seem to remember, I just outright said to my brothers "I want to die." I was obviously depressed about something but for the life of me I can't remember what it is. Before I continue, I must say that my father was a very angry man; the reason he and my mother divorced in the first place was because all they ever did was yell at each other: in fact, the very first word I remember either of them saying, was my dad yelling "Fuck!" because he was extremely angry; I think I was three or four years old at the time. Anyway, when my dad got back, I was hoping he wouldn't ask anything about it and I held my tongue. My stupid older brother, however, told him what I said. At that point, he ran to the back seat, grabbed my neck and yelled what I said in the form of a question right at me twice. His hands gripped my throat tighter than- well, bow-chika-bow-wow. From then on, I was so terrified of him that I didn't even want to be in the same neighborhood as him, out of fear of him eventually evolving into the Incredible Hulk and screaming "Hulk smash!!" Last year, though, I kind of yelled at my mother that I didn't want to be around him because he makes me uncomfortable because of that instance; he heard me over the phone. The next day, he apologized for it and has even been trying his best to be more relaxed around me. For the following months, I thought I had forigiven him; I even told myself that I'd just let it go. However, recently, I found myself about to tell my brother something accusing about my dad relating to that incident; it confused me; it horrified me, really. I had always thought that, if you forgive someone for something that happened, then it would never come up again if it was resolved. But the fact that I was about to throw it into my brother's face long after it had been resolved leads me to believe that either I'm incapable of forgiveness or it's just impractical for me to just say "I forgive you" and move on with my life.
I also have a habit of saying sarcastic things without meaning to be sarcastic and, if any of you have noticed this and have been offended by this, I would like to apologize because I really and truly do not mean to be disrespectful to anyone.
I'm a bit of an observer at heart, usually watching things unfold without actually getting involved, trying to figure out the personalities and tolerance levels of the people around me and, in truth, I've had varying results; in my daily life, it doesn't usually work seeing as how I watch people interact with people that are friends with one another in ways that I could never truly understand. However, on wikia, I've been mostly successful, as I've found three nice guys, one stressed out guy and one guy who's somewhat immature all on this wikia; I'm not going to list names because I feel like I may be offending people if I do give those out. Actually, I don't know why I observe; I've been doing it for a long time so I guess it's just a habit of mine and, as I'm sure most of you are aware, "Old habits die hard," and I've got more habits than my older brother has complex thoughts. As for why I don't get involved in things, it's probably because of many different experiences in my life where getting involved in things has hurt me on more than one occasion; there are too many to list off and I really don't want to but I will say that this relucatance to involve myself in certain matters has actually prevented myself from editing on certain wikia;there are a lot of them but the ones I'm thinking of are Halo, Marvel and DC.
Due to a mental disorder that I've had, I do many things habitually; this includes reading and analyzing profiles and setting up and solving problems (usually related to physics). Unfortunately, editing on wikia is not one of those things because I don't really have the time to work on wikia every minute of the day like some other users seem to.
As of now, I'm trying to be more polite to people, even on the internet because, about a year ago, I was hanging out with my best friend and I made a shocking discovery; if you're casual with others, then it's possible to be so casual that it's disrespectful. Out of that, I'm trying not to be so casual and I'm trying to treat people as if I just met them so as to keep from becoming disrespectful the way so many other people I know have.
My Mental Disorder[edit | edit source]
Now, as stated above, I do have a mental disorder which is actually the cause of a lot of my habits and traits. I have the disorder of the Autism Spectrum Asperger Syndrome. It's a low acting autism and it causes a lot of traits for me.
Firstly, it causes me to be stubborn; at times, I find it hard to believe that I'm wrong about something, such as when I have an opinion about someone or when I make an analysis on something; I find difficulty in admitting I'm wrong and it's caused a bit of a problem for me.
Another thing is that, when I'm wrong or I fail at something, usually a test in school or when I fail to do what I'd planned to during the day, it causes me to become either depressed or angry; this seems to be an automatic thing that I don't have much control over because, when I try to keep myself from getting angry about something and analyze the situation further, that usually causes me to become depressed and it's generally very hard to deal with it; I feel like I need to talk to someone about these problems but there are a few issues with that; I'm not comfortable around my father, my older brother only hears what he wants to (I explained the entire plot of an episode of the Halo Machinima Phil and the only words he got out of that were Juggernaut and the sentence "I'm the Juggernaut bitch!"), my little brother is apathetic and jaded (and what's sad about that is every time I point it out to him, he denies it despite ample evidence to support my claim), my mother usually gets angry at me and doesn't even try to help me with my problems until a few things happen: either I start crying or I yell that I'm going to kill myself, usually both. Apparently, when I get angry, try to blow off steam and calm down a little bit, that just makes her angry to the point that it just makes me feel worse; on top of that, it's gotten to the point that I've attempted to cut myself; I say attempted because I can't cut myself; this is because all of the knives in my house, including my mother's combat knife, aren't sharp enough to break the skin. Also, I'm not around my friends long enough to talk to them and PMing and emailing don't have the same effect (they just don't) and my mother refuses to get me a therapist to talk to. She apparently thinks that all of my problems can be solved with an idiot doctor that only gets my mother's one-sided account on everything and the drugs he gives her for me to take. I've even talked to my dad about getting me a therapist and he still hasn't gotten one yet; keep in mind that I asked him about two years ago. On a semi-related note, I hate my family.
Also, because of this disorder (at least, I think), I find it difficult to be mature; I'm generally serious, true but I'm usually immature in ways that you would not believe; I'm so immature that, if I'm wrong about something or my family knows something before I do and DON'T TELL ME, I generally get very angry or upset. I basically have the temperament of a young child (Now all I need are green skin, hulking muscles, strength and superpowers that grow with my anger and I could be Savage Hulk).
Also, because of this disorder, I have many habits that are ritualistic in nature; I pace around my room during most of the day when I have time when I'm not on the computer, while on the computer I do certain things very specifically on specific days, the primary example being that I watch the Blade Anime every Monday after my brother finishes downloading the episode from the Playstation Network.
This disorder also causes me to over explain things; I generally like explaining and it's not a habit I want to fix; unfortunately, when someone doesn't let me finish explaining what I want to (for example, whenever I'm the middle of an explanation, my brother will interrupt in the middle and take guesses that are always wrong), I get very angry and irritated, to the point that I become viciously sarcastic.
I also tend to overanalyze things and that generally makes dealing with people hard; generally, I only hang out with people that are nice to me but people that I absolutely cannot stand I can't stand because of analyses to their personalities, though this is mostly for fictional characters; I believe this has also made me cynical: you see, in my English III class, we've been reading a book known as The Great Gatsby which is a terrible book, if you've thought about reading it, don't, it'll save you so much money and time to just forget about it. The plot isn't cohesive and I don't even know what the plot is anymore (I've been reading it and we only have one chapter left to go) and the characters are complete scumbags; I mean, they're so irritating that I'm just glad someone died; in one chapter, the woman named Daisy, who is Nick, the Narrator's cousin runs over a woman named Myrtle Wilson, who had an affair with Daisy's husband, Tom Buchanan. It's just such an awful book that I wish I didn't have such a good memory; this book is going to plague me for the rest of my life and to read this book isn't even something that I'd wish on my worst enemy, it is that bad. Everyone sucks so much that, when Daisy ran over Myrtle, I was kind of hoping that it would cause the car to swerve into a wall and kill Daisy and Gatsby along with her.
This disorder also causes me to either not get social cues or causes me to react wrongly to them; I overreact when someone is sarcastic or disagreeable to me and I don't usually get rhetoric because it makes no sense to me; I can't successfully employ rhetoric and I don't care much for it.
I think that's pretty much everything.
Red vs. Blue[edit | edit source]
As stated above, Red vs. Blue has become a recent obsession of mine, which doesn't mean much other than I like it a lot, seeing as how I become obsessed with things rather easily.
Now, before I start this story, I must tell you that, before learning of Red vs. Blue, I hated Halo. I hated it so much that I could not stand to be in the same room as someone who would talk about Halo as a conversation starter. Now, in truth, it was for two reasons; it didn't have anything to do with the story or the genre or anything, since as far as I know, there's nothing wrong with either of those. The first reason I didn't like it is because I hate shooters, specifically first person shooters. I hate them because I suck at them. I could never get used to the controls so I just sort of gave up. The other reason I hated Halo was because my friends who would let me play it with them, my little brother included are total pricks. Out of all of them, I was the least experienced with first person shooters and with XBox 360 controls; I would ask for some time to practice and get used to the controls and one of my friends even chose to help me by getting me acquainted with some of the weapons (the only two I remember learning about, though, were the Sniper Rifle and the Spartan Laser). Now, during this time, where shooting and killing each other was forbidden until my friend started the match, my little brother would continually assassinate me. We kept telling him to stop, we kept threatening to ban him from the game but he still wouldn't stop; it was as if he was a natural born assassinating prick.
However, recently, around a couple of months ago, my brother started watching Red vs. Blue. Now I myself, who hated Halo, didn't want to watch it because Red vs. Blue was a Halo Machinima. However, a few weeks later, my brother showed me Red vs. Blue: Revelation episode 10, this one goes to eleven, where it had CGI animations that kicked ass. So, from there, I watched Revelation from start to finish and then it dawned on me; I don't know about the rest of the story; so, I decided to watch Red vs. Blue from the beginning and I've been a major fan ever since. Actually, I have a story that I'm writing right now, called the Great Union and some characters in the story are based off of Red vs. Blue characters: Omega-1 is based off Carolina, Omicron-10 after Tucker, Mu-5 and Alpha-52 after Church/Alpha, Sigma-14 is a combination of North and York, Gamma-3 is a combination of Tex and South, Tau-25 is based more off Tex than Gamma and Genie is loosely based off of the Grunts. Also, I came up with a group of Doppleganger Demons called the Meta that are actually, as a whole and as individuals, based off of Agent Maine/the Meta, with the leader actually being called Main; another name for them I've considered recently is Legion but that's less significant.
My favorite Red vs. Blue characters are Alpha, Delta, Epsilon, Tucker, Caboose, the Meta, and Washington. My alltime favorite Red vs. Blue character right now is Agent Carolina because she kicks ass, I like her fighting style, and she seems to be kind hearted enough given the general mood of the story, so she's pretty cool; her mental instability has reduced my liking of her, honestly but it hasn't affected my liking of her enough to reduce her on my leader board. My second favorite character is a tie between Wash and the Meta; after that are Tucker, Epsilon, Caboose, Delta, and Alpha. I also started liking C.T. recently; I can't explain it but I like her and it just seems kind of odd to me that some people don't like her.
Update: Since Season 10 ended, Carolina has been bumped down to my 2nd favorite character. To be clear, though, it's not because she became less awesome but it's because my current favorite character became way more awesome than he should have: my favorite character is now Agent North Dakota. It's hard to explain but he's the kind of character that portrays badassery perfectly in my opinion.
My very first favorite character in the series was Tex; however, this was a very immature liking as I only liked her because she was able to kick the crap out of the Reds and Tucker and was shown to hold her own against Wash and the Meta; in truth, I knew next to nothing about her personality (due to only seeing those two episodes at the time) and I didn't like her for any other reason than she's a good fighter. However, after watching the series fully and learning more about her, she is not one of my favorite Red vs. Blue characters anymore and I don't think I ever will like her again. Another character I don't like is the Director simply because he's a cold hearted, arrogant ass. I also don't like South and I'm indifferent about Wyoming; he's entertaining, don't get me wrong, and he is kind of funny, but he just doesn't do it for me.
Another character I really like is York because he's a good fighter, he's a nice guy and he's funny; actually, York is my mother's favorite Red vs. Blue character, which is both good and bad for me and anyone else that happens to like York; she likes him because he's funny and he's also good looking. This means that he's probably going to be around inside her head as part of a yaoi couple (if you want to know what that means, tell me and I'll explain it).
Simmons is another character I used to like; he was smart and kinda cool and I could somewhat relate to him, since we're both geeks that feel underappreciated by our peers and friends. However, after a while, that story gets old and I guess I got sick of it. That's when my liking for Simmons ended. I also used to like Grif; however, now, eh, I don't have much of an opinion of him.
I never liked Sarge, as a matter of fact; he's a stereotypical Sergeant and I don't like that. That may be because my dad's a Sergeant and I grew up hating his guts but it may also be because he's something of an idiot; I don't generally like idiots; Caboose is the one and only exception. I'm not counting Donut because I'm not a big fan of his and I no longer view Tucker as an idiot since Recreation.
That's everything I have to say on Red vs. Blue.
This wikia[edit | edit source]
Now, I've been to many wikias before this one and I have to say that this one is by far my favorite one ever. You see, for wikia I've been to, they generally fall under two types; strict rules and not so strict rules. The ones with strict rules I don't like very much for two reasons; one, the rules are so strict that I can never get anything done. And the second reason is because the admins and members of those sites are so good at their jobs that I have no reason being there; I'm actually avoiding one wikia on one of my favorite manga because I don't like two of the admins; they're despicable human beings that I believe are snide and lack souls.
The other category is on the other extreme and it's not very good either; true, the admins are more lenient and are more likely to compromise but, they're so lenient that some of my favorite pages kept getting vandalized. The one I'm thinking of is the InFamous wikia where, prior to InFamous 2 being released, the page belonging to the mysterious antagonist, the Beast, was filled with a bunch of crackpot theories that, in my opinion, never made any sense and didn't seem likely to me; now, granted, the admin, CirChris, who is awesome by the way, made a compromise where they put up speculation pages and sections under articles but, still, the theories got so out of hand that others had to put a stop to it and I myself actually got the Beast page locked right up until InFamous 2 came out (Hooray for me!). Also, the pages were so underdeveloped that I didn't know where to begin my edits and I was afraid I would put down speculation, so I mostly stuck with grammar and spellchecking and it was a lot of work. Now, I will tell you right now that the InFamous wikia has shaped up and it isn't being vandalized as much anymore so this explanation is more like a walk down memory lane than any actual current fact.
What's cool about this wikia, though, is that it's in between in terms of policies, rules and development. It's stricter than some of my friends would like, which I think is a good start but it's also not so strict that I can't put down a plausible theory every now and then. Also, a lot, not all, but a lot of the pages on this wikia need updates, grammar and spellchecking and general information, which is good because it gives me a chance to help out and feel important every now and then, which actually does something good for my self-confidence so, thank you all on this wikia for not being the most horrible people I've ever had the pleasure of dealing with.
People I like, hate and am indifferent toward[edit | edit source]
On this wikia, I've found a good number of people that I can tolerate, which is much more than I get out of my high school. Most of the people on this wikia are really cool but the most notable people I'm thinking of are Sniper, Nightfire, Cyrus and Jman. They all seem like pretty relaxed, really cool guys and, while some of them do get irritated at some points, that's not any reason for me to say anything bad about any of them. I also like theSuperHunter because he's cool, calm and relaxed.
I like plenty of people on this wikia but the one person I don't think I like very much is Bron Honda. I've seen his talk page and some of his edits and, from what I've gathered, he seems to make up excuses for his mistakes and tries to put the blame on someone else at some points.
I think the only one on this entire wikia that I have absolutely no definite opinion about is WhellerNG because I have yet to exchange two words with the guy and I don't know much about him. I've seen Bron Honda call him headstrong and stubborn but I think that Bron Honda has some blame on his part, too so I'm not taking that as a credible source. He seems strict and irritable to me but, other than that, I've got no analysis on him and no ill nor positive feelings toward him. If you were to ask me my opinion of him, I would say "meh" and move on.
Thanks[edit | edit source]
I would just like to say, thank you to everyone that read this profile. I'm very grateful and I will do whatever I can to support you in any way I can if you just let me know. Thank you again, you have been awesome.