Upward Mobility is the first special episode in the Halo 3 Preparations series.
Characters[]
Red Team[]
Blue Team[]
Synopsis[]
Sarge explains to the Reds about the basis weapon changes in Halo 3. He shows the change in the Needler as an example.
Transcript[]
Fade into Sarge standing before his team.
Sarge: Alright men, as you know we're about to through some serious upgrades around here. Command has asked me to help you prepare for the move from Halo 2 to Halo 3.
The squad cheers in excitement.
Sarge: Now I know that going through these changes can be scary, but as long as you know what to expect, I think you'll be fine. For instance, you may notice that you voice will be getting deeper and that you may find girls slightly less icky. That's perfectly normal.
Simmons: Um sir, I think your giving the wrong speech.
Sarge: What, oh yeah right. (shuffles through papers and clears throat) Got a lot of these things. Is this it? Some of the common side effects you'll notice from Halo 3 are increased appetite, dry mouth, night terrors-
Grif: I don't think so. That sounded like a pharmaceutical speech.
Sarge: Well how about this? Once we get used to our new overlords, I'm sure we'll all appreciate their iron fisted rule.
Simmons: Nope.
Sarge: Deeeeer; flash flood warning until 10:00 P.M?
Simmons: No.
Sarge: Corporate Paradigm shift?
Simmons: No.
Sarge: Hostile takeover?
Simmons: Keep going.
Sarge: Better graphics. New weapons and maps?
Simmons: Okay yeah, that sounds like the right one.
Sarge: Alright here we go. (clears throat) Men, I've been asked by command to get you ready to get you ready for the transition from Halo 2 to Halo 3. So we're going to have a series of lessons of what you can expect. Some of the things you may notice right away in Halo 3 are the better graphics and all the new weapons and maps. We'll be covering those today.
Donut: Uh can I still have the deep voice?
Sarge: No.
Cut to Church spying on the reds through his sniper scope.
Tucker: What are they talking about down there?
Church: I think I heard them say they're doing lay offs or something like that.
Tucker: Woo hoo! Less guys to fight! Wait a second, blue teams isn't doing lay offs right?
Church: Not that I know of.
Tucker: Woo hoo!
Cut back to the reds with Sarge holding a needler.
Sarge: Now I think your all familiar with the needler correct?
Grif: I guess, I never used it.
Simmons: You never used your regular gun either.
Grif: I know, but we're specifically talking about the needler here.
Donut: I've used it all the time!
Simmons: You did?
Donut: What? It matches my armor.
Sarge: There were some complaints about the current revision of the needler.
Sarge fires multiple shots at the Warthogs tires and then they explode doing no damage.
Sarge: Especially in the area in overall firepower.
Simmons: Heh, no kidding.
Sarge pulls out another needler.
Sarge: Luckily the boys upstairs sent along this prototype of the Halo 3 needler. You may notice a slight difference.
Sarge shoots a single needle in the Warthogs tire and it then explodes destroying the vehicle.
Grif: Whoa! Dude dibs on the new needler. I don't even care if I have to wear pink armor to use it.
Donut: This is going to be awesome!
Screen fades to black and reappears with images of a Spartan and Covenant controllers and wireless headset.
Sarge: Today's episode is brought to you by the limited edition Halo 3 Spartan controller.
Elite: Covnenant controller!
Sarge: (groans) And Halo 3 wireless headset. Say goodbye to the clutter of cables. Get out of here cables who need ya! Hey yeah!