|Red vs. Blue Episode|
|Airdate||October 25, 2010|
Sarge and Church walk you through the upgrading process.
Fade in to Sarge and Church, ...somewhere
Sarge: Hi I'm Sarge from the popular webseries, Red vs Blue.
Church: And I'm one of the other guys.
Sarge: As futuristic warriors and tech enthusiasts, we're often faced with the challenge of deciding whether to upgrade our gizmos, to the latest versions.
Church: So today we present a rare point/counterpointversion of Red vs Blue. When should you upgrade your hardware?
Sgt. Sarge - Counterpoint
Sarge: You'll wanna upgrade as soon as the newest version comes out. Natural Selection tells us that the organism with the best tools, always survives. Take the most dominant predator in history:
Church: Are you talkin' about Tex?
Sarge: I'm talking about velociraptors. Stealthy, cunning- and mean as all get out. For years they dominated the Earth, with their awesome hunting skills.
Sarge: Indeed. Now imagine one of them with the latest smartphones equipped with Bluetooth technology.
Sarge: Ridiculous...ly unstoppable.
Sarge's Bulleted List - Dominate Raptor Style
Sarge: Upgrading to the latest hardware as soon as possible, gives you the edge you need to track and kill your enemies.
Track and Kill w/ ease
Sarge: And turn their precious flesh, into vital nutrients.
Pvt. L. L. Church - Counter - Counterpoint
Church: On the other hand, maybe you should consider waiting to upgrade. As you probably know, everyone here in the Halo Universe is about to get a big armor upgrade.
Sarge: Can't wait.
Church: Yeah, me neither. But don't forget-
Title Goes Here - Early Adoption Blues
Church: During the Reach beta, Caboose upgraded his armor to the invisibility version, and now that the beta is over, he can't turn it off.
A voice of Caboose is heard.
Caboose: Hello. Nice to see everyone, I wish everyone could see me.
Sarge: Oh he's invisible! I kept hearing his voice and thought I was just going crazy.
Church: Don't worry Caboose, once the game comes out, I'm sure there will be a way to shut it off.
Caboose: Ah, good. I need sleep.
Sarge: Sleep? When that game comes out, I won't sleep for a week!
Church: Yeah, no it's not that it's just that he's having trouble sleeping because he can see through his eyelids now.
Sarge: Oh. ...That's creepy.
Church: I'm positive they'll fix it with a patch though, er- something. Right Caboose? Caboose? Where'd you go?
Caboose: I'm over here.
Church: God dammit, we need to put a bell on you man.
Sarge: A plain ol' bell, no way! Get the latest bell. It has wireless speakers and eighteen different bell tones. Plus every time it rings, an Angel gets an eagle greeter.
Church: No way, I'm not gonna upgrade his bell now. You know there's just gonna be a better version of one next year.
Caboose: Oh, you're not upgrading?
Church: Not me man, no way.
Caboose: Because I was gonna tell you that they make that chat pad for your controller in black now.
Church: Well... I need to have that.
Sarge: Heh- sure you do buddy.
Church: Really, it's a necessity.
Sarge: Hheheheh. If you say so.