This One Goes to Eleven is the tenth chapter of Red vs. Blue: Revelation and the 163rd episode overall. The episode aired on June 21, 2010.
Characters
Red Team
Blue Team
Other
Plot
Tex is back, and she's making up for lost time
F.I.L.S.S. begins to sound the alarms, stating that there is a security breach on level "Alpha". Tex soon chases the Reds out of the chamber and begins to pummel them one by one (notably focusing on Grif and his balls), causing Simmons to become separated from the group. Simmons runs to Caboose, who is in a control room, and tells him that they need help. Caboose presses random buttons and causes several rocket launchers to fall down in front of Simmons. Simmons grabs a rocket launcher, thanks Caboose, and runs into Tucker, recruiting him to help him distract Tex.
Meanwhile, Sarge and Grif become overpowered by Tex, until Tucker pulls out his sword and draws Tex's attention. However, Caboose accidentally "saves" Tucker by dropping a crate in between him and Tex, causing Tucker to yell at Caboose for messing up his distraction with Simmons. Tex then notices Simmons nearby, in which the latter fires a rocket at her. Tex quickly evades Simmons' attack by throwing a teleporter door at the rocket, redirecting it back at Simmons.
"She knocked the black right off of you."
Soon Tucker, Simmons, Grif and Sarge group together to fight Tex, as Caboose still attempts to find ways to "help" them out while in the safety of the control room. Tex then ends up knocking everyone, but Tucker, to the other side of the room where Caboose then attempts to drop a crate on top of Tex. After Tucker dives out of the way of the oncoming falling crate, Tex catches it and throws it at Tucker and the Reds. Tucker pulls out his sword once again and slices the crate in half. Unfortunately, Grif and Simmons are hit by the two halves of the crate and Sarge is buried under medical packs that spill from them.
After Tucker attempts to fight Tex one-on-one, his sword is stripped from him and he repeatedly gets thrown into teleporters, slowly getting black stuff all over his armor. Sarge and Grif think he is Tex and begin attacking him. Simmons points out that it's Tucker, but Sarge hits him one more time due to his "force of habit." Tucker and Grif soon fall through a teleporter and end back up with Tex. Realizing that the rocket launcher is an older model, Simmons attempts to shoot Tex with the launcher's heat-seeking feature, but can't tell Tucker and Tex apart. Tex then punches Tucker back with the group, causing the black stuff to come off and making it easier for Simmons to find a target.
After Simmons fires a rocket at Tex, she preforms some acrobatics in order to avoid being hit by the missile that is chasing her, running through teleporters to redirect it at her opponents. Tucker and the Reds get caught in the resulting explosion, propelling them across the room. After they are down for the count, Tex gets hit in the head by Epsilon's monitor body and a voice tells her to pick on someone her own size; it is Epsilon in a new body and armed with a sniper rifle.
Transcript
FILSS: Alarm, security breach, level Alpha. All personnel report for duty. This is not a drill.
Fade in to the Reds running from Tex, and Caboose in a control room overlooking it
Simmons: Run!
Grif: Oh crap! Where is she?
Simmons: I don't wanna die!
Caboose: Sheila, we have to help them.
FILSS: Help who?
Caboose: The Reds! Tex is attacking them, we have to stop her.
FILSS: Stop Agent Texas? Oh no, absolutely not. We should never interfere with an ongoing battlefield simulation test. Our job is to observe and document.
Caboose: But she'll kill them.
FILSS: Oh, that would be wonderful! What a successful test.
Sarge: We need to keep moving, men. Come on, double-time. Hell I'd settle for single-time.
Simmons: Maybe we should just fight. I'm afraid she's gonna start picking us off one by-
Suddenly Tex punches right through the wall and grabs him by his throat.
Simmons: -one!
Tex then pulls him forward, slamming his face into the wall, then steps back and kicks it away, sandwiching Simmons between the wall and a pile of crates.
Quickly Sarge raises his shotgun and points it at Tex, but she darts forward, lifts the gun up just before he fires, then punches him in the stomach and flings him towards Grif. Sarge stumbles forward as he is thrown and his helmet rams right into Grif's crotch, causing him to scream in pain. Suddenly, Tex barrels straight into them, crashing through a crate before flinging them into a pile of barrels, sending them scattering across the floor.
Simmons emerges from the sandwich and runs for heavy armaments.
Simmons: Oh man, forget this. I need to get a bigger weapon. Caboose, help us!
Caboose: How? The computer won't let me. She's mean! This place is filled with mean ladies.
Simmons: Push some buttons, I don't know!
Caboose: Buttons!? Oh man, I love buttons! Beep bup bup boop beep bup boop.
A crate of large weapons tips over and drops them next to Simmons
Simmons: Wow. That actually worked perfectly. Thanks!
Caboose: Great! How the heck did I do that?
Grif: Ow!
Tucker: Hey Simmons, what the hell is going on in there?
Simmons: You gotta help us! Do you know how to use that thing?
Tucker: My sword? Fuck yeah I know how to use it. What's to understand about swish-swish-stab? It's a fuckin' sword dude, it's not a fighter jet.
Simmons: Just come and help me.
In the storeroom, as Sarge and Grif stagger to their feet, Tex kicks a barrel towards them. Grif quickly ducks down and lets the barrel hit Sarge before getting up and firing his battle rifle. But Tex rolls forward to avoid the bullets then grabs Grif and Sarge by their throats and smashes their heads together before knocking Sarge away with some punches and kicks.
Grif opens fire again but Tex knocks his rifle away and begins pounding on him with some powerful punches before knocking him to the floor, holding onto his right leg with one hand then raising her other in a fist.
Grif: Wait wait wait-
Tex strikes Grif really, really hard in the groin, then kicks him across the room, right into a crate. As he struggles to get up, a teleporter falls on him and he flies out the other end just as Tex knocks Sarge aside.
Grif: O-ho o-ho.
Tucker: Hey Sweet Cheeks! Remember me? Step away from the idiot!
Simmons: Oh God, please don't let her see me.
A huge crate falls between Tex and Tucker
Caboose: Yes! I saved Tucker! Oh wait... I saved Tucker.
Tucker: Caboose, what're you doing? You're messing up my plan with Simmons. I was supposed to distract her for him.
Simmons: You ratted me out, you son of a bitch!
Simmons fires a rocket out, but Tex jumps aside, grabs a teleporter and flings it towards him. He fires another rocket but it simply goes through the teleporter and out the exit that is right next to the pile he is standing on! KABOOOOOM! Simmons is thrown into the air by the explosion, right into the flying teleporter and out of the other end – straight into Tex who grabs him and kicks him into Tucker, sending them sprawling to the ground.
Simmons: Oh shit! Oh shit!
Tucker: That was awesom- ow!
Caboose: Um, can we use turrets on her or, some explodey firey thing?
FILSS: That would be outside the bounds of my standard safety protocols. I cannot do that.
Grif: What do we do Sarge?
Sarge: I don't know, I've never hit a girl in my life.
Simmons: Yeah, I noticed. Try harder!
Grif: Hah!
Tex charges forward, snatches Sarge's shotgun out of his grip, punches Tucker aside and kicks Simmons into another teleporter. As she turns towards Grif, Simmons flies out the exit from the previous teleporter and into another teleporter. He exits the teleporter and knocks right into Grif, knocking him straight into another kick in the groin. Tex slams Grif onto the floor with her foot and points the shotgun right at his head.
Simmons: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUU- (flies through a few teleporters) -UUCK!
Grif: Ha-how!
Simmons: Oh no, Grif!
Grif: Yipe!
Tex tries to shoot Grif in the face with a shotgun, but it's out of ammo
Sarge: Private Grif, you should be ashamed of yourself. We've run out of ammo again! That's your responsibility!
Grif: Huh. I guess this is the first time my laziness has ever saved my-
Tex steps on Grif's chest
Grif: -oof! Protect me cone!
Grif holds a construction cone over his face, and Tex hits him in the crotch with the shotgun, knocking him quite a distance into Simmons.
Simmons: Watch it!
Grif: You watch it.
Sarge: You idiots, let me show you how it's done.
Tex punches Sarge in the face and knocks him back to Simmons and Grif
Grif: Nice demonstration Sarge.
Sarge: Ah shut up.
Simmons: Hey guys, look up there.
Tucker finally gets up, and sees a giant crate looming over himself and Tex
Tucker: Uhh, what? Hey Caboose! Remember when I said not to help me? Forget that, I need you to help me. Right now!
Caboose: What holds up that crate?
FILSS: Mechanical controls are on the left side of the console.
The crate drops, Tucker dives out of the way, Tex catches the crate
Tucker: I can't believe that worked! ...Aw fuck, that didn't work!
FILSS: I knew that would not work. Agent Tex is a bit of a badass.
Tex throws the crate at the Reds and Tucker
Grif: We gotta get outta here!
Simmons: We'll be crushed!
Tucker: Don't worry guys, I got this. SWISH!
Tucker splits the crate with his sword, and the two halves go to either side of the Reds, covering them in medpacks
Grif: Ow! We were crushed.
Tucker: Aw fuckberries. Tex, can you- oh!
Tex kicks Tucker in the chest
Tucker: Alright, you know what, that's it. Come here.
Simmons: Oh thank God, thought I was a goner. Sarge, where are you?
Sarge pops up out of a pile of medpacks
Sarge: Rrr, what happened? I feel defeated, yet inexplicably rejuvinated.
Tucker swings his sword out towards Tex, making swishing noises as he does but Tex dodges each swing and strikes Tucker's exposed parts. As Tucker thrusts his sword out, Tex grabs his arm, twists it, and then kicks him across the room, disarming his sword in the process.
Tucker: Swish-fuck! Swoosh-fah! Ah, stab- God dammit! Gah! Oh come on. O-aow, bullshit!
Tucker skids across the ground, hit his head on a teleporter, flips over and then tumbles straight through it.
Grif: Whoa, did you see that?
Simmons: How would I have missed that?
Tucker emerges from a teleporter into Tex's grip, Tex grabs the sword, and the sword goes out
Tucker: What's the matter Tex, you having trouble keeping it up? Don't worry, it happens to everybody. Well, not me but...
Sarge: That rocket launcher's one of the older models, right?
Tucker: Ow! Ow! Ahow!
Simmons: Yeah.
Sarge: That means it's got heat seeking.
Tucker: I didn't know that was there!
Sarge: Now lock on and let her rip!
Simmons: Oh right, I forgot about that.
Tucker: Ow, holy crap, you just don't know how to use it-
Tucker flies through a teleporter, emerging completely black again
Tucker: -bitch! Dammit I hate this black stuff, what the hell is it?
Grif: There she is!
Tucker: Huh?
Sarge: Get her!
Simmons: Wait, guys...
Sarge and Grif start beating on Tucker, but Grif quickly loses steam.
Tucker: Ow, come on! I'm not Tex I'm a Blue. I'm not the one you're fighting. Leave me the fuck alone!
Grif: Kicking's hard.
Sarge gets Tucker in a headlock and punches the top of his head a bunch
Tucker: Why are you hitting me, I'm not Tex.
Simmons: Sarge, hold on, hold on!
Sarge: Hm?
Simmons: I think that's Tucker, not Tex.
Tucker: See I told you! Ow-
Another punch
Tucker: -ow you fucker! Why'd you do that?
Sarge: Meh, force o' habit.
Tucker: Man you guys are n-ah-
Tucker, staggering backwards, trips over a medpack and into Grif, and they end up leaning against each other on either end of a teleporter on the ground
Grif: Hey, watch it- whoa-
Tucker: Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa-
Grif: Don't fall in the-
Tex looks at it from the adjoining teleporter
Grif: Hold still hold stil, I can see her. She's right over there by the other-
Tex puts her head through the teleporter and emerges beneath Tucker and Grif
Grif: Uh oh.
Tucker: Grif, I see her.
Tex punches Grif in the crotch, and he falls into the teleporter, leaving Tucker off-balance
Grif: What is your problem with my balls?
Tucker: Whoa, who-whoa, hawhoa! Aw crap.
Tucker falls through the teleporter and backs into Tex, who suplexes him and goes for the mount and starts punching him
Tucker: O-ho, wow, right into the mount, huh? O-hoa, not even gonna buy dinner? Come on, I like your style.
Sarge: Simmons, what're you waiting for?
Simmons: They look the same, which one do I shoot?
Tucker: Ahow, shoot the one who's winning dumbass!
Grif:Ow.
Grif, cradling his balls, staggers into the line of fire
Simmons: Grif! Watch it!
Grif: Uh-huh-huh.
Tex kicks Tucker forward, knocking him into Grif before grabbing his leg, pulling him back and punching him to the ground so hard that the black ash flies off his armor as he skids back towards Sarge and Simmons.
Tucker: Ahoww, ow.
Sarge: Wow, knocked the black right off ya.
Tucker: That's racist.
Sarge: You're all clear Simmons, now shoot her!
Simmons: Fire in the hole!
Simmons fires at Tex, who takes off and leaps into a teleporter, flipping out the other side and then running straight towards Tucker and the Reds; the missile still on her tail.
Tucker: Are you fucking kidding me? Run!
Tucker bumps into Sarge and Simmons. Then Tex runs up and knocks all three of them down with a single punch before sliding right under Grif's legs. Grif looks up and spots the missile moving right towards him.
Grif: Oh God, not my ba-
The missile passes through his legs.
Grif: Oh thank God. I thought I was-
Grif turns around, just as Tex leaps into a second teleporter on the floor and the missile flies past her and towards a pile of propane tanks.
Grif: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKED!
As the missile hits, the tanks ignite and jet towards Tucker and the Reds like mini-rockets. Grif is sent flying by a tank that hits him square in the groin while the others are knocked into the air by the tanks' explosions.
Meanwhile Tex rolls out the other side of the teleporter and watches as Tucker, Sarge and Simmons come crashing down to the ground. Tex then approaches a cement barricade and carefully pushes it aside and soon pushes it a few more inches. She then waits as Grif finally comes crashing down on top of it... crotch-first.
Grif: Ooaaah! Why won't you just kill me?
Church: Hey Tex!
As Grif slides off the barrier to the floor, Tex turns and starts towards the others… but then a monitor bounces off the side of her head and she turns in its direction… to see a cobalt-blue soldier standing in the doorway, holding a sniper rifle in his hands.
Church: How 'bout you pick on somebody your own size?
Gallery
Trivia
- The title of the episode is a reference to the expression "going up to eleven", a phrase coined originally in the 1984 film This Is Spinal Tap, which means to exploit something to its absolute full potential.
- When Tex punched Tucker while he was covered in the black stuff, it was a strong enough punch to knock the stuff off. This prompted Sarge to say, "Wow... She knocked the black right offa you!" in which Tucker replied, "That's racist!" a possible reference to the episode Hello, My Name Is Andrew.
- As Tex beats Tucker through several teleporters, Tucker is covered by the mysterious "black stuff," referring to the first three seasons of the series, where Tucker would be covered in this "black stuff" while everyone else would remain untouched.
- Grif forgetting to bring spare ammo is a reference to Motion to Adjourn.
- When Tex grabs Tucker's sword it turns off immediately, referring to the episode The Storm.
- Despite having the most screen time, Tex has no dialogue whatsoever in the episode.
- Tex performs a professional wrestling maneuver called a "German Suplex" on Tucker after he falls through the teleporter with Grif.
- Sarge referring to the rocket launcher as an older model which has heat seeking is a reference to Halo 2 where rockets could lock on to enemies (though only vehicles, not individual players), a feature removed in Halo 3. When Simmons is aiming the launcher, the heads up display from Halo 2 is superimposed on the screen.
- Sarge is covered with med kits, and states "I feel defeated, but inexplicably rejuvinated," referring to the med kits in Halo: Combat Evolved, Halo 3: ODST, and Halo: Reach.
- Tucker tells Caboose not to help him, a reference to Reconstruction: Chapter 6, when Church asks Caboose to "help" South Dakota and Caboose shoots her.
- Tex made several attacks towards Grif's testicles, none of them friendly. The genital attacks to Grif's nuts might also refer to The Blood Gulch Chronicles, but in the actual case of Grif really being "Numb Nuts".
- The first one: she rammed Sarge's head into them.
- The second: she vertically punched them and then kicked him in them, sending him into a crate and causing a teleporter to fall on him (two attacks in one).
- Third: she sent Simmons through four teleporters, and when he came through the fourth, he bumped into Grif, cauisng his 'nads to get rammed into Tex's foot..
- Fourth: she used Sarge's shotgun like a golf club and smacked it against Grif's crotch, sending him flying into Simmons.
- Fifth: she saw Tucker (covered in a soot-like material) and Grif standing arced over a teleporter, trying not to fall in. She poked half of her body through one teleporter to reach that one, and socked Grif right in the crotch, prompting him to ask her, "What's your problem with my balls?" before falling into the teleporter.
- Sixth: a propane tank gets Grif in the balls after a rocket went between his legs and caused a massive explosion behind him, sending rockets flying everywhere, hitting everyone but Tex.
- Lastly: while he was falling from the sky, Tex moved a concrete step barrier under Grif's range, causing his balls to land right on top of it, making seven testicle-based attacks to Grif. This might be a reference to Bungie's favorite number, 7.
- In Grifball: Double Agent 2 and 3, the side screens of the UNSN newsroom features clips of this episode.
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