"Oh sure, they say we’re at peace, but you know them squid-heads will put a laser through our heads faster’n greased lightning if we gave ’em the chance!"
—Stassney in Prologue

Private Stassney was a crew member aboard the UNSC Tartarus, first appearing in Prologue.

Role in PlotEdit

Meeting FelixEdit

13 01 00003

Stassney talking

While transporting prisoners aboard the UNSC Tartarus, the ship's crew discover a lone Pelican out in space, with Stassney being ordered to meet up with crewmates Kilgore and Blanton at docking for the Pelican. The three find Felix alone inside the Pelican, with Stassney finding him suspicious, but Felix quickly befriends them. After Captain Mayers tells Felix about the prisoners they are carrying and jokes that nobody is interested in them, Felix states that he is and attacks the crew members. In retaliation, Stassney grabs a pistol and tries to kill Felix, but, unfortunately, ends up killing his own ally instead. Felix then tells Stassney that he is not going to kill him, surprising Stassney. Unfortunately, Felix states that Locus is going kill him, which the latter does.


During his time on screen, Stassney has been shown to behave somewhat like Grif, being lazy, sarcastic, and not taking his assignment nor his crewmates seriously. He was first shown relaxing while watching TV instead of doing any soldierly duties; he sarcastically responded to Mayers' orders to help investigate the ship by theorizing the ship was full of alien zombies before reluctantly agreeing to go; joked with the prisoners about how he hoped the pelican was full of hitchhiking cheerleaders; joked with Kilgore about the people on the ship being special ops; complained that the biggest danger was boredom; and seemingly held little to no respect for the UNSC.

Along with this, it can be assumed he isn't well liked aboard the ship. He seems to have little respect for Mayers, who seems to have the same opinion about him; the prisoners jeer at him and insult him constantly; Kilgore hopes that if the ship is full of special ops soldiers they will kill Stassney and expressed annoyance when he started talking about aliens; Blanton reprimanded him for not taking the mission seriously; and another soldier said he was intolerant. He also seems to have some kind of dislike or distrust of aliens, claiming that "Them squid-heads will put a laser through our heads faster’n greased lightning if we gave ’em the chance!"



  • According to his rank insignia, Stassney is a Private.
  • It is likely Stassney is named after a street in Austin, near one of the former Rooster Teeth offices.
  • Stassney, along with Blanton and Kilgore's character models are just retextured Marines.

United Nations Space Command
Most Known: Malcolm Hargrove · Allison Church · Locus · Felix · UNSC Police
Other Members: Dennis · Jerry · Mayers · Stassney · Blanton · Kilgore · Prison Guard · Spaceship Operator · Gateway UNSC Captain · Delaney · Vargas · McCready · Casio 06 · Tabatha Morales
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