|Red vs. Blue Episode|
|"Something Else Entirely"|
|Airdate||May 12, 2014|
Something Else Entirely is the third episode of Red vs. Blue: Season 12 and the 248th episode overall. It aired on May 12, 2014.
- Sarge (Mentioned only)
- Meta (Mentioned only)
Underground at the New Republic Headquarters, Grif dramatically tells the squads about how he and the others defeated the Meta, much to their delight and awe. Simmons enters the scene and asks what Grif is doing, until Jensen and a female soldier asks him if what Grif said was true, to which Simmons agrees it was, only in a slightly more dramatic way. The two, along with a now appeared Caboose, are then ordered to go to Kimball's office, where they find Tucker. Simmons asks Tucker what happened during his mission leading Felix to intervene, saying that Tucker disobeyed orders and caused the death of two soldiers. However, much to Tucker's surprise, Felix suddenly becomes excited and joyed, stating that even though they lost some men, they managed to recover important Federal Army information.
Kimball then interrupts the conversation and reveals that she discovered the location of where Wash, Sarge, Lopez, and Donut are being held after searching through the files Tucker recovered. She further explains that they're being kept at a base close enough to travel to, but were constantly being moved around beforehand. Kimball then states that even though Tucker, Simmons, Grif, and Caboose were not the heroes she expected, their squads still look up to them because they can relate to being a misfit and an outcast. She ends the meeting by making a deal with the four: stating that if they can assemble a team consisting of the best soldiers in their platoons and prove to her in five days that they're skilled enough, she'll allow them to go and rescue their friends before they are moved to the capital.
After the meeting, the four complain about having only five days to get their teams ready, contempalting if they can actually do it or not. Felix then comes up to them and advises they wait another day to go and rescue the others. Tucker then questions Felix's new weapon, and why he only sometimes works for the New Republic for weapons and not for the idea of doing the right thing. Felix then laments about how the four previously refused to help the New Republic until their friends were captured, and, before he leaves, tells them that everyone has their price.
Fade in to the New Republic headquarters, where a Republic soldier is seen working on a warthog. Cut to Grif speaking to a crowd of Republic soldiers.
NEW REPUBLIC HEADQUARTERS HQ
Grif: Boom! Huge explosion, you wouldn't believe it! He just shook it off though like it was nothing and he comes right at us!
Grif: He cuts our rocket launcher in half, so Tucker goes in for a stab but nothing's working. That's when I knew what to do.
Grif: I throw myself on top of him, taking him completely by surprise, but he has the strength of ten men!
Close up on Grif.
Grif: No, ten bears!
Crowd: Ohh! That's pretty cool... Bears are strong...
Grif: This guy's invincible. It looked like nothing was gonna stop him.
Republic Soldier 1: What did you do?
Grif: Huh? Oh, uhh we tied a car to him and threw it off a cliff.
Republic Soldier 2: ...That is the most metal thing I've ever heard.
Grif: So the moral of the story is, you never know when random, seemingly unimportant, stuff will turn out to be very important. Which is why you shouldn't question me when I tell you to build me something like a hammock, or...a human slingshot.
Simmons approaches Grif.
Simmons: Grif, what are you doing?
Grif: Just tellin' these guys how we took down the Meta.
Simmons' Lieutenant: (to Simmons) Is it true Simmons? Did he really growl like some sort of...monster?
Jensen: And did he really have the strength of ten bears?
Simmons: Uh...I uh- um...more like, uh, you know, twenty bears.
Simmons' Lieutenant: So hot!
Grif: That is why.
Simmons: (sighs) You're spending way too much time with Tucker.
An intercom activates. Kimball speaks.
Kimball: (over intercom) Grif, Simmons, and Caboose, report to my office immediately.
The intercom deactivates.
Grif: Well guys, it looks like that's it for today. Run along.
Cut to a view of the crowd. Caboose is suddenly seen among them.
Caboose: I like the part with the bears.
Cut to Kimball's office where Tucker is seen inside, looking at the ground. Caboose, Grif, and Simmons run towards him.
Tucker: If you hug me, I will shoot you.
Caboose: Ah it's okay Tucker. I-I know you're more into groping. Come on, let's grope.
Grif: When'd you'd get back?
Tucker: A little while ago.
Simmons: What happened?
Felix emerges from behind the ramp.
Felix: Oh, I'll tell you what happened. Captain Tucker here decided to disobey orders and and took it upon himself to recover a hard drive full of Federal Army secrets. A decision that only cost him the lives of two of his men.
Felix: That's a pretty damn good trade if I do say so myself!
Tucker: (surprised) What?
Felix: (laughs) Man, you should've seen this guy! (raises DMR) He was all, (in deep voice) "I don't play by the rules!" (regular voice) Fucking James Bond and shit all over the place! It was crazy! (lowers DMR)
Tucker: Wait, I thought you were pissed?
Felix: (lowers DMR) Oh, do not get me wrong, I wanted to beat your worthless skull into the ground until it was paste. But look where we are now, you took a risk and it paid off.
Tucker: 'Paid off?!' Dude, two of our guys are dead.
Felix: And two more will probably die tomorrow. Seriously, what don't you people get about that?
Pan up to reveal Kimball standing on the ramp.
Kimball: That's enough, Felix.
Kimball walks down the ramp, passing Felix and the others.
Felix: (clears throat) Just sayin'.
Kimball: Tucker, your choice cost two men their lives ...but it also granted us access to valuable information. Whether or not this was the right thing to do is a conclusion you'll have to come to on your own, I'll leave it at that. Right now the six of us need to have a talk.
Grif: Could it not be as depressing as the talk we're having right now?
Kimball: I know where your friends are.
Simmons: You do?
Caboose: Yay, I have friends!
Felix: Whoa, when did this happen?!
Kimball: I kept digging through the files Tucker brought back. There wasn't much to go off of but eventually I found them. ...And from the looks of it, they've been moved around a bit.
Simmons: Finally, we can rescue Sarge and everything will go back to normal! Isn't that great Grif?
Grif: "Great" is a strong word Simmons. I would've gone with "tolerable."
Kimball: Don't celebrate just yet. As I said they've been moving around fairly regularly, and from the looks of things it isn't going to stop. Right now they're held up in a compound just north of a nearby mountain range. But in about a week it sounds like they'll be transferred to the capital, a place that is very, very out of our reach.
Simmons: Sooo, then we go get them now? Is that.. that's a thing we can do, right?
Felix: The compound she's talking about is twice the size of the one Tucker and I raided. Breaking in would be suicide. Breaking someone out would be...like suicide and a bunch of puppies dying.
Tucker: How do you know?
Felix: Because I've tried, and uh, spoiler alert, it didn't go well.
Caboose: Were the puppies okay?
Felix: Kimball, please talk some sense into these guys.
Caboose: Yes, I'm sorry, can we get back to the puppies?
Kimball: When I first heard about you four, I envisioned strong, daring, respectable soldiers.
Cut to Simmons, Grif, Caboose, and Tucker.
Cut back to Kimball.
Kimball: But, now that I've come to know you, I found that you're something else entirely. It turns out you're all a bunch of-
Kimball: Misfits. You're oddballs that don't exactly fit in. Which is why my men all look up to you and why morale has been at an all-time high; because they can relate to you. Because together we're an army of underdogs and outcasts. But, as of right now, I cannot authorize a rescue mission of this scale.
Cut to the Reds and Blues, looking downwards in disappointment. Cut back to Kimball.
Kimball: Interestingly enough, you work well when you fight together. But, individually, you still haven't shown what it takes to lead others. Which is why I'm giving you five days.
Cut to the Reds and Blues, who all look up at Kimball. Back to Kimball.
Kimball: Five days to assemble a smaller team. One comprised of the best of each of your platoons. And if you can convince me that you're ready by the end of those five days, then you will have my support.
Tucker: Five days?!
Grif: That's not really a lot of time.
Kimball: Well...it's all you've got!
Felix: ...Yeah, um, if this is really happening, I'd like to be paid in advance.
Cut to Simmons, Grif, Caboose, and Tucker standing outside Kimball's office.
Grif: Five days. Five fucking days. My naps take longer than five days.
Caboose: Yeah and President's Day is Monday, so we can't expect people to come in on a holiday because that would be time and a half. And- oh my god, that would be five and a half days!
Felix appears nearby, holding a plasma rifle.
Felix: Take my advice gentlemen: live to fight another day.
Grif: I think I liked you better when you thought we were super soldiers.
Tucker: Hey, what's up with that?
Close up on Felix's plasma rifle.
Felix: This is my plasma rifle. Part of my cut from the hit and run.
Simmons: Your cut?
Felix: You think these guys have any money lying around? Yeah right. They pay me in old alien tech. The whole reason Chorus was chosen for colonization, was because it showed promising signs of extraterrestrial artifacts. Turns out the UNSC was right; too bad they abandoned the place. But hey, their loss is my very shiny, very valuable gain.
Tucker: Wait, why steal weapons and ammo when we can just use this space laser shit.
Felix: Because they don't work, genius; they're busted. But I'm willing to bet that someone out there would be happy to pay a very large sum of money for these babies!
Caboose: Uh, yeah wait, I'm sorry. I'm confused. (stutters) Ar-ar-ar-are they babies or are they lasers? Or are- are they laser babies?
Felix: While we're talking business, if you guys are serious about rescuing your friends by the end of the week I could always be persuaded to increase my level of assistance. For a one time fee of course, maybe something along the lines of an alien energy sword. Mmm, any takers? Tucker?
Tucker: (chuckles) I don't think so. If you like the New Republic so much, how come you still charge them for your help?
Felix: Because when I retire, I want a television the size of a billboard.
Caboose: Well, that's gonna be bad for your eyes.
Tucker: I'm just saying, you could always help us out for free. You know, mix it up a little!
Felix: Ah. Mmm. Okay. So you want me to help you rescue your friends, because...what, it's the right thing to do?
Tucker: Yeah, it's called 'not being a dick.'
Felix: Hmm. You know, if I recall, the first time these people ever asked you for help, you turned them down. Figured this whole 'civil war thing' wasn't your problem. (chuckles) In fact, I bet, if your friends had never been captured, you'd still refuse to lend them a hand. Even if it was the 'right thing to do.'
Felix: Everyone has their price. I learned that a long time ago...and you're no exception.
Felix walks away. Fade to black.
- This episode reveals that Felix is paid in non-functional alien weapons since the New Republic has no currency to compensate him with.
- This might be a reference to Emile-A239 in Halo: Reach, who had what he called an "impressive" collection of Covenant contraband.
- Grif and Simmons embellishing the story of how they took down the Meta, with Grif exaggerating some details and Simmons reluctantly following along, is very similar to an event in Sadie's Story in Halo 3: ODST. A radio operator, known as Stephen, was blaring propaganda about how humanity were fighting back against the Covenant invading New Mombasa, in an effort to give hope to civilians. Mike Branley accused Stephen of being a liar, and Stephen argued that he was giving hope to the "doomed" citizens of New Mombasa in their final hours. In an attempt to prove his point, Stephen put Mike on the air, daring him to "tell the truth." Mike quickly found himself telling the same kinds of lies that Stephen had, even claiming that civilian efforts against the Covenant were "going well".
- Grif saying the Meta had the strength of ten bears is a reference to a quote he made in n+1, in which he says "This guy is like a bear!"
- Caboose stuttering about Felix's alien weapons being called "babies" may be a reference to Visiting Old Friends, when he says his famous quote "My name is Michael J. Caboose, and I hate babies!"