RvB Throwdown is a special crossover episode of Red vs. Blue and Rooster Teeth's musical rap series Rooster Teeth Throwdown. It is the twentieth episode of Red vs. Blue: Season 14. It aired on September 18, 2016 for sponsors, September 19th, 2016 for Rooster Teeth site users, and September 25, 2016 for the general public.
Characters[]
Red Team[]
Blue Team[]
Other[]
Plot[]
Sarge and Church take part in a rap battle, that also has a special appearance by Felix and Locus.
Transcript[]
Vic: Since the beginning, a single question has plagued the minds of Red Vs. Blue fans everywhere. No it's not "Do you ever wonder why we're here?", God knows we've run that one into the ground. Nope. The question is simple: Red Team or Blue Team? Well, clearly there's only one logical way to settle this: a battle of wits... and rhymes. * the words “RvB Throwdown” appear onscreen* Word to your mothers!
Cut to Sarge inside of a recording booth, with Church on the other.
Sarge: Hey there! Hey there recording guy! What's the order of this? This rap battle?
Church: Hey! Hey guys, is he going first or am I going first?
Sarge: Does it go him then me then me then him then me then him me?
Church: It's Red Vs. Blue, so he should go first, he's Red.
Sarge: Or does it go me him him me him him me me me me me him?
Church: "It's the fight of the ages, Red Vs. Blue, by the end of this battle you'll finally see *gibberish*-" What is that? Is that a sentence? Why do we let an Achievement Hunter write this stuff?
Sarge: When do I get my bling? The Warthog needs spinners!
Church: Who's going first in this thing, am I going first? Alright let's do this.
Announcer: IT'S TIME FOR A ROOSTER TEETH THROWDOWN! LEONARD CHURCH VERSUS SARGE! RAPPERS READY? THROWDOWN!
Church
It's the fight of the ages, Red Vs. Blue
Or it would be if anybody cared about you
By the end of this battle you'll finally see
Leader of a real team ain't as easy as it seems to be
You're trying to mold three wimps into men
I run the suit of the biggest badass there's ever been
Your shotgun's primed for a war you've been storming up
But back away my laser face has started warming up
Hate the people on your team you can barely control them
Got your ass kicked by freelancers Sarge, while I owned them
The Director a machine, you're a cadencing schmuck
Can't rap against a ghost, so BOO you motherfuck
My story's what fans and critics adore
I'll sum up yours in one word "snore"
This is all getting real, bitch, this isn't a game
All they call you is Sarge, that's not even a name
Sarge
Your rap is finally over the fat lady said
I'll kick your ass three times with a left, right, left
Sarge isn't a name, it's superiority
Unlike yours my team respects enough to bury dead me
You got rhymes more fruity than a strawberry Yoo-Hoo
I'll rip you so hard your whole team will go "Blue hoo"
You say you're a leader, oh man that's a riot
This sergeant's loading up to kick you straight in the privates
Red wins, Blue sucks, that's how it's always ended
Wipe this scum from the earth, as God intended
So death to the Blues on that beautiful day
Rotting up like roadkill on a lonely highway
Church
Gross!
Sarge
And one day we'll stand around a tattered Blue flag
Stepping on the necks of you broken battered dirtbags
Nothing you can say can stand up to me
So drop, bluetard, and give me infinity
Church
That's cute. Look at you
You're thinking you're still relevant
Since Reconstruction hit, you're completely insignificant
You're an old has-been who's still trying to prove
He's just as good as he was back in 1952
God damn, I really died for this war?
You're the only one caring about this motherfucking score
If I actually tried, you'd be down in one go
Also Brown-nose, rust-boat, wide-load, and Delano
Red sucks, deal with it, and let me just remind you that
It's because of me, RvB went past season three
You stepped up to a game you can't play
Church is in session so maybe you should stop and pray
Sarge
Your days are numbered you scruffy nerf herder
I've got a brain full of beats and a boner for murder
A case of blue like yours calls for proper medication
Got a shotgun full of pills for your insubordination
Glory to the Red Team and extra glory to me
I need a proper victory, so who's in charge of confetti?
You're an old computer program with a virus maybe
I'll wipe your hard drive clean with the treads on my Chupababy
We're just better, that's not gonna change
So take a step closer into face stabbing range
Your fall's a matter of "when", not a matter of "if"
My second shell is for you, I'm saving the first for Grif
Grif
What?!
Felix
Hahaha!
Oh put away the threats and the knuckle cracks
Locus
I told you to stay out of this
Felix
Dude, just relax
These guys wanna fight, and hey, we're supporting it
But now we're chiming in on the rhyme
Locus
How unfortunate
Felix
See we're just better in every way
What you've done in your life, I've done in a day
Locus
We're perfectly crafted, cunning killing machines
Felix
The two baddest of the mercenary space marines
I'm a supreme know-it-all when it comes to a knife
Close range combat's how I live my life
Then couple me up with an invisible dread
Locus
By the time you see me you're already dead
Felix
How'd you both get teams following your command
Locus
When you can count your IQ on a single hand
Felix
I can't believe this fake battle's caused this much fuss
Cause the way I see it
Locus
You're just practice for us
Church
Call me Epsilon, the Alpha, and the Director online
RvB is just the tale that my life story designed
When I powered Tucker's suit my tale came to an end
I know that's hard to explain to a dude with no friends!
Sarge
Friends don't make you smile in this battle-scarred Hell
What made me smile was watching you dissolve yourself
But you did your damned best, so don't take it too hard
But it's time to suck it Blue, you just got Sarged.
Trivia[]
- Church asks "Why did we let Achievement Hunter write this stuff?", referencing the Achievement Hunter division of Rooster Teeth. The writer for the episode, Jeremy Dooley, is presently one of the six primary members of Achievement Hunter.
- Jeremy had originally written much of this material for a video released on July 3, 2014. On YouTube, it can be found on his channel Achievements4Idiots, under the title Epic Rap Battles of Rooster Teeth #11. Jeremy voices all the characters in that version, which contains verses from Tucker and Simmons instead of Felix and Locus.
- This episode was aired alongside "Club" at the RvB Panel at RTX 2016.
- A third Rooster Teeth Throwdown was released on October 31, 2016. This throwdown features Joel Heyman, and Caboose. The video is a Google Play and iTunes exclusive, which can be found here.
- Sarge calling Church a "scruffy nerf herder" is a reference to Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back.
Video[]
