|Red vs. Blue Episode|
|Airdate||June 28, 2010|
Characters[edit | edit source]
Red Team[edit | edit source]
Blue Team[edit | edit source]
Others[edit | edit source]
Plot[edit | edit source]
The episode opens with Tex beating up Epsilon with his old monitor body while Sarge and Simmons watch with Grif as he holds a med-pack at his groin from the intense groin beating Tex gave him. As Caboose asks F.I.L.S.S. if she can stop Tex, she reveals that she can lock Tex's armor, but Caboose accidentally locks down everyone else's armor too, except for his because his Mark V helmet doesn't have the necessary protocol that activates the Armor lockdown.
Meanwhile, back at the desert, Washington asks Doc to check the aliens' bodies to see if anyone is breathing. Washington then asks The Meta to check C.T.'s camp, which The Meta doesn't want to do, but is forced to anyway. As The Meta checks the camp, Washington and Doc talk about how Freelancers don't get paid overtime, which upsets him. The Meta calls Washington because he has found something in the camp, so Washington orders Doc to check the camp instead, but Doc protests by making up excuses to not go.
Transcript[edit | edit source]
Fade in to Tex beating Church with his old round body
Church: Ow. Ow! Ooow! Stop it! Tex, you are embarrassing me. Ow! Stop! Ah! Hey, are you gonna sit a -ah- you gonna help me or not? Stop it.
Sarge: Naw buddy I think you got everything under control. We'll just hang back here.
Church: Won't it stop!
Grif: Yeah, you've got some catching up to do.
Church: The whole- stop.
Sarge: Hey, what's she beating him with?
Simmons: I think that was his old body.
Sarge: You mean he ain't a floatin' cue ball any more?
Sarge: That's too bad. Had a few more nicknames in my side pocket. We'll certainly miss you Lord Hackensack of the Roundalots.
Grif: Beating him with his own body? That doesn't seem physically possible.
Caboose: Uh-hu- we have to do something.
F.I.L.S.S: I am sorry, as I said, I cannot operate outside the bounds of my standard safety protocols.
Caboose: What if I said... pretty please.
F.I.L.S.S: Private Caboose, is there a reason why you don't want to use one of the standard safety protocols? In this scenario, I would strongly recommend locking down the armor of any rogue unit.
Caboose: Wait you can do that?
F.I.L.S.S: Of course. Armor lock is a standard safety feature since the Freelancer break in.
Caboose: Well why didn't you tell us that?
F.I.L.S.S: Why would I need to tell the Director that? He wrote the protocol himself.
Caboose: Oh, right. Yes of course he did. Um Sheila, could you do the armor lunchable thing that you said?
F.I.L.S.S: Now initiating standard safety protocol. Armor lockdown in progress. All units, stand by for lockdown.
Tex becomes immobilized
Church: What- what's happening? Caboose what did you do to her?
Caboose: Yes! Yes! I did it! I am the biggest hero ever! I beat up the girl!
Sarge: Hah hah, yes! See, that's how you do it Grif; face your enemy man to man. Or in your case, woefully inadequate man to woman. And then when she's distracted, use superior technology to take her out. *sniff* Reminds me of prom night.
Grif: We didn't do anything, she shut down.
Caboose: I am the best!
Simmons: Uh, hey guys? What do you think that voice meant by "all units"?
The Reds become immobilized
Sarge: Hrr, h-gr I can't move.
Caboose: I did it, I- not my fault! Not my fault! I did not do this! The computer made suggestions! And the default option was yes!
Grif: Well this is just great.
Church: What's happening? Caboose! Make it stop! Make it-
Church becomes immobilized
Church: st-ow! Rrruh!
Caboose: Uh, Sheila, is, is my armor gonna lockdown too?
F.I.L.S.S: No Caboose, your helmet does not have that particular protocol installed in it. I had assumed, that was the reason why you were wearing that-
Caboose: Yes. That is totally the reason.
Cut to the desert, where Wash is overlooking a bunch of dead aliens.
Washington: Well, so much for the "leave one of them alive" strategy. Doc, where are you?
Washington: Still alive. I thought maybe you'd been killed in the battle.
Doc: No, don't worry, I'm still alive.
Washington: I didn't say I was worried. Get down here, see if any of these things are still breathing.
Washington: You're a medic, get- medical.
Doc: I'm a human medic. I don't even understand Alien physiology.
Washington: I want you to see if they're alive, I don't want you to check their cholesterol levels, just get down here.
Doc: Geez!! Fine. What's with the anger?
Washington: Meta, you search the camp. See if you can find anything useful for us. Any clues where Epsilon went.
Washington: Don't start with me. I've already reached my tolerance level for management issues.
Doc: He's getting fussy.
Washington: Tell me about it.
The Meta walks between two closely-spaced cliff faces that essentially form a cave
Doc: Maybe we should take a break.
Washington: Excuse me? A break?
Doc: Yeah, like a three-day leave! Everyone go off, recharge their mental batteries, come back refreshed, and like, ready to tackle our challenges.
Washington: You want a vacation?
Doc: I call it a Soul Sabbatical.
Washington: What are we, mailmen? This is a military mission. We don't get a vacation. We don't take sick days, we don't get paid overtime.
Doc: What, Freelancers don't get overtime?
Washington: That's right, we have a job to do and we're expected to stick wit- wait. Why, wh- do you?
Doc: Get overtime? Yheah. Time and a half over forty hours, time and a half and a half after sixty.
Doc: You guys don't get that? That's crazy, you work so hard.
Washington: Tell me about it.
Doc: You guys should strike.
Washington: We're not unionizing. Stop instigating.
Doc: ... Tell me they at least match your 401K.
Washington: Shut up.
Doc: What was that?
Washington: Quiet. What did you find, Meta?
A grenade has its pin pulled and is thrown at the cave entrance, where Wash has moved to
Washington: Hey! Watch it. Meta, come out here, now.
Washington: Doc, get in there and see what he found.
Doc: Which Doc, there's a, is there another Doc here? I know you're not talking to me. Yeah, you know, probably better if you go in? Historically, I don't really have the best success rate going in caves. They tend not to work out for me. Before your time, but trust me. I-uhy- you don't want any part o' that.
Gallery[edit | edit source]
Trivia[edit | edit source]
- When Grif sees Epsilon being beaten up by Tex with his old body, he remarks "that doesn't seem physically possible.", a reference to Church's flashback to Sidewinder, where Pvt. Jimmy was beaten with his own skull, also by Tex.
- Grif is seen holding a medpack over his crotch, a reference to the previous episode, where Tex made Grif's balls a priority target when she attacked the Reds and Tucker.
- Caboose's not having the "Armor Lock" safety protocol is due to him 'upgrading' from the Mark VI armor to the Mark V armor, mentioned in Reconstruction: Chapter 4.
- Doc states that he has a bad history with caves, referring to the time when O'Malley infected him while he was "Cave-dwelling." Also, when he entered the caves with Sister and Junior, the whole group was quickly captured by Captain Butch Flowers and the Green Alien.
- Tex's, Sarge's, Simmons', Grif's, Tucker's, and Epsilon's armor enter lock down, preventing them from moving. The armor lock feature is available in Halo: Reach, which prevents the player from moving but makes them temporarily invincible. In addition, Armor lock is depicted by Halo 3's Overshields in this episode, as the feature is absent in Halo 3.