Red vs. Blue Episode
"Relocated: Part Four"
Reds meet Donut
Episode no. 4
Airdate March 9, 2009
Running time 4:47
Director(s) Gavin Free

Red vs. Blue Relocated
February 9, 2009 - March 9, 2009

  1. Relocated: Part One
  2. Relocated: Part Two
  3. Relocated: Part Three
  4. Relocated: Part Four

Part Four of Red vs. Blue: Relocated was released on March 9, 2009 and is the last episode of Relocated. It is also the 133rd episode overall.


Red TeamEdit

Blue TeamEdit


Sarge and Lopez get the new weapon on the Warthog working and test it on holographic simulations of Grif. Donut mysteriously arrives and gives Grif a cryptic warning involving Tucker. Meanwhile, Caboose seems to have gathered the corpses/armor of his former teammates at Valhalla's Blue Base for unknown reasons.


Sarge drives up in jeep, gets out

Sarge: Now this is more like it! Great job on the simulator, Lopez; Good work on the power, Simmons.

Simmons: Thank you, sir!

Grif: Simmons?! I'm the one that was almost killed just so you could get the electricity back on.

Sarge: Yep, but it was worth it.

Grif: You say that every time I'm almost killed.

Flashback to Halo: CE Sarge, Simmons runs up

Simmons: Sarge! Grif was spying on the blues and they captured him!

Sarge: What'd he find out? Are they planning something?

Simmons: No, they were standing around talking, like always. But now they're gonna kill him!

Sarge: Well, it was worth it.

Flash to Halo 2 Sarge and Simmons talking

Sarge: The base looks so clean Simmons! Excellent work.

Simmons: Yeah, too bad Grif was almost killed by his allergic reaction to the cleaning supplies.

Pan to Grif laying in a pool of blood

Sarge: It was worth it!

Flash to Sarge and Simmons standing, with Grif on floor between them and on fire

Sarge: Worth it.

Flash to present

Sarge: Only because it's always true. There's very few tasks that wouldn't balance out by you making the ultimate sacrifice.

Simmons: At least this time we got something out of it. We got power, and a new weapon!

Sarge: Let's test this bad boy out.

Sarge mounts turret of Warthog, points at Grif

Grif: Whoa, wait a second. Does this hologram jeep shoot hologram slugs, or real slugs?

Sarge: As long as we are in this room, everything will seem real to us. It's all simulated, but your mind makes it real.

Simmons: Ooh, like the Matrix!

Lopez: Sí, pero sin toda la filosofía oriental que nadie entiende. [Right, but without all the Eastern philosophy stuff that no one understands]

Grif: Alright, fuck this. I'm going to stand over there.

Sarge: Well guess what, dirtbag? I don't need you for target practice anymore. I've got my own holo-Grif programed into the system already.

Lopez makes a holo-Grif

Holo-Grif: Hello! I am literally the worst program ever made!

Simmons: It sounds like someone hasn't used Google Chrome...

Sarge: Locked and loaded, ready to fire at the bloated. Grif... I mean, fake Grif... go stand over there.

Holo-Grif: Cool... Whatever...

Holo-Grif runs to center of room

Sarge: This is a magnetized propulsion system. It can fire massive slugs at an outrageous velocity! Check it out.

Sarge fires, killing holo-Grif and stalling out the Warthog's engine.

Holo-Grif: (flying as corpse) Blarg! I deserve it!

Another figure is seen, standing where holo-Grif was

Sarge: Heh heh. See? How awesome is that?

Simmons: Wow!

Sarge: And in 10 short seconds, it'll be ready to fire again.

Simmons: That's incredible! Wait a minute...

Sarge: Lopez, spawn me another holo-Grif on the pronto.

Lopez: Sí

Grif: Did you guys see that?

Sarge: Shut up real-Grif! We're doing important research over here! Hey Simmons, check this out: I'm gonna shoot the next one in the hoo-hoo.

Another Grif spawns

Holo-Grif: Oh, hey guys. What's goin-

Sarge fires at the Holo-Grif directly at his groin

Cut to Blue base. Caboose amid bits of equipment

Caboose:(Creepily) Finally we're all here. Now we can be together... forever.

Cut back to Red holo-room. A holo-Grif dies, adding to a pile of dead holo-Grifs

Sarge: Alright. Lopez, another holo-Grif.

Lopez: Esta cosa hace otros blancos sabéis... [This thing makes other targets you know...]

Sarge: Bah, let's stick with the fundamentals.

Stalled jeep restarts

Simmons: OK, Sarge. Do you mean to tell me this thing fires once every 10 seconds?

Sarge: Yep. It's state of the art.

Another holo-Grif spawns

Holo-Grif: Let's get this over with...

Simmons: But our last weapon fired 10,000 rounds per second.

Sarge: If my math is right, and I think it is, that seems like more than this one.

Simmons: Yes, it is.

Sarge: How much more would you say?

Simmons: Well, the chaingun was 10,000 rounds per second, and this would be 0.1 of a round per second. So yeah, it was.

Sarge fires again, killing holo-Grif and stalling jeep once more. Grif sees figure

Sarge: It does seem to be lacking in the rapid fire department.

Grif: I know I'm not crazy. I just saw something move.

Sarge: Oh well, a good craftsmen never blames his tools.

Simmons: But, we made the tool in this case. Can we blame the craftsman?

Sarge: No, Simmons. You and the gun are just going to have to agree to disagree.

Five holo-Grifs spawn, in a line

Simmons: Let me take a look. Maybe I can increase the rate of fire. (mounts jeep and drives off)

Sarge: And maybe Lopez can find a way to spawn Grifs faster

Lopez: ¡Hace otras cosas! [It makes other things!]

Grif: Guys, seriously. I know I saw something. (approaches line of holo-Grifs) Aha! See? This one is weird. It's all light red instead of orange.

Sarge: (not looking) No Grif, I'm sure it isn't

Simmons: You're probably still hallucinating from the charge you took.

Grif: Yeah, I don't think so. Look!

Sarge: Grif, we are busy! You and Donut shut up and stop distracting us.

Grif: But I... Donut?!

Donut: Water...

Grif: Eeyah! Donut?!

Simmons: Donut?

Grif: Where the hell did you come from?

Donut: Water...

Grif: You came from the water?

Donut: Water! (collapses)

Grif: I didn't even know you would swim

Donut: Grif! He needs help! It's under... the sand... find him.

Grif: Oh boy. That sounds like something that's gonna keep us busy for a few months

Sarge and Simmons approach

Sarge: Holy mamma mia. Donut! Where's he been?

Simmons: Donut! Grif, what did he say?

Grif: Hm? Who, him? Oh, uh, he just said he wanted some water.

Simmons: That's it?

Grif: Yeah, uh, just the water thing, uh, oh! Also that he really missed everyone.

Sarge: Why don't I believe you?

Grif: Um, he also said that he liked the new jeep.

Fade to black

Sarge: Hot damn! I always knew that kid had style.



Relocated Part Four Red vs

Relocated Part Four Red vs. Blue Mini-Series

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