The Red vs. Blue Trailer is, as the name suggests, the trailer for Red vs. Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles, first airing on September 5, 2002.
Characters[]
Red Team[]
Other[]
- Narrator
Synopsis[]
The narrator attempts to tell the story of Halo and of the brief Red vs. Blue civil war that occurs between the first and second Covenant invasions, but stops to argue with an uncooperative subtitler, who complains about the length of the script. Grif and an unimpressed Simmons discuss this footage.
Transcript[]
Narrator: | In the year 2552, |
Caption: | In the year 2552, |
Narrator: | in the last year of the Covenant invasion of the outer planets, |
Caption: | in the last year of the Covenant invasion of the outer planets, |
Narrator: | a hero arose, a cyborg known only by the name Master Chief. |
Caption: | a hero arose, a cyborg known only by the name Master Chief. |
Narrator: | He led the Covenant to the edge of space, |
Caption: | He led the Covenant to the edge of space, |
Narrator: | to a ringworld, called Halo. |
Caption: | to a ringworld called Halo. |
Narrator: | It was on Halo that Master Chief learned the grand plan of the Covenant armada. |
Caption: | It was on Halo that Master Chief learned the grand plan of the Covenant armada. |
Narrator: | To destroy humanity and its homeworld... Earth. |
Caption: | To destroy humanity and its homeworld... Earth. |
Narrator: | Using the defenses of Halo, he destroyed the ringworld, and the Covenant armada along with it. |
Caption: | He destroyed the ringworld, and the armada along with it. |
Narrator: | The invasion was over. Unknown to the people of earth, the Covenant were planning to return. |
Caption: | But it's hard to keep a good alien down. |
Narrator: | But in the time between the first and second Covenant invasion, there was a brief, but violent period of civil war among the humans. |
Caption: | In the meantime, some guys got all pissed off. |
Narrator: | Man fighting man... Red vs. Blue. |
Caption: | And totally started wailing on each other. |
Narrator: | This is the story of th- |
Caption: | What a bunch of dicks. |
Narrator: | What is that? What are you doing? |
Caption: | I'm paraphrasing. This intro is too long. |
Narrator: | Paraph- well don't paraphrase, don't- look, I will read what's in the script, and you type whatever I say. Okay? |
Narrator: | So just type whatever I say. |
Caption: | Just type whatever I say. |
Narrator: | No, don't type everything I say; just type wh- it's in the damn t- t- m- |
Caption: | No! Not everything... just guh, guh, der, duh, duh... |
Narrator: | ...that's not funny. |
Caption: | You're such a cock bite. |
Narrator: | Alright, now that, okay that's gotta, that, take that off, because that is, fir- number one that's offensive, and secondly... I am not a cock bite. Seriously! I, I am not a cock bite, that is rude. ...just put up the fucking logo. Just put up the logo. |
overhead map of Blood Gulch appears, and a Red Vs. Blue logo fades in on top of it | |
Narrator: | Assholes. |
Caption: | cock bite. |
Soldiers in orange armor and maroon armor are standing on a base. | |
Grif: | Huh. What'd you think about that? |
Simmons: |
Yeah, I think somebody owes me the last two minutes of my life back. |
Trivia[]
- According to a blog post by Burnie Burns, the trailer was the very first Red vs. Blue video released on the internet.[1]
- Burnie voices the narrator to the trailer.