|Red vs. Blue Episode|
|Airdate|| August 12, 2018 (FIRST members)|
August 13, 2018
Sarge and Grif are here to show you how to Reduce, Refuse, and Reload your Reliable shotgun! Also something about Recycling.
Grif: Hi, I'm Private Dexter Grif from the popular web series Red vs. Blue.
Sarge: And I'm Sarge, here to talk to you about saving trash! Also known as recycling.
Sarge: Recycling is when idiots surrender their hard-earned waste to the man so he can build more "pediatric hospitals."
Grif: But unlike children, recycling doesn't have to be useless.
Sarge: That's right!
Sarge: Did you know we recycle shots from Red vs. Blue?
BGC Grif: Are we the product of some cosmic coincidence?
Sarge: No! And would you please focus?
Grif: Entertainment's built on recycling! Superhero movies compete with their own reboots at the box office!
Sarge: What'll their origin story be this time?
Grif: Recycling is energy efficient, which is otherwise known as laziness
Grif: So recycling a whole franchise is beautifully lazy. I-
Grif: I actually might need a second guys
Grif: Th-There's something in my eye
Sarge: Okay, how about this?
Sarge: A long dead TV show...
Sarge: The Motion Picture!
Sarge: Cast with longer relevant comedians and, hot randos.
Grif: (gasp) Flabbergasting! My every flabber! Gasted into space!
Sarge: The Kickstarter writes itself!
Sarge: And it's not just for Tinseltown folks. You can be as glamorous as Hollywood by saving resources! For instance pee in the shower.
Grif: Anyones'll do.
Sarge: Reuse Needles!
Sarge: Recycle jokes or have running gags.
Grif: And you know when you finish cereal and have milk left so you add more cereal to the bowl?
Sarge: Yes, siree.
Grif: Well, I've been recycling by feeding milk into the same ever bowl since childhood
Sarge: ha ha ha aha -wut?
Grif: It's oakey, peaty, and has a smooth burn on the after. [garbage cans] Grif: What isn't recycling is taking out your cans and bottles which you must never do.
Grif: A startling reminder of how much you drink?
Grif: No, thank you!
Sarge: If you folks at home are anything like me, you'll end each season of your popular Machinima show with heaps of dead extras! [lots of bodies show behind Sarge] Here's a tip: scrape the bone meal from the walls of your trash compactor my friend, cuz that's triple-A plant food.
Grif: That sounds a...Intense.
Sarge: And, after a few years of it you'll go numb too.
Sarge: "I Know What You Did Last Summer" was released a year after I started. And wouldn't you know it there was a billboard right outside my house! Ahaha ha oooh! That was a very stressful movie poster.
Grif: That was like, 1997.
Sarge: Just be sure you save your corpse dissolving acid for next time.
Grif: (Background)Our first season was in 2003.
Sarge: That's! Reeeeecyclin! [Sarge next to recycle bins] Sarge: Once you're done, do the right thing and personally carry the recyclables up to the recycling plant
Sarge: Caboose! Yer up.
Caboose: Labor! Hooray! I personally love laboring as long as you help me with the plant food cuz it smells like my nightmares.
Sarge: Waddya use the plant food for anyhow?
Caboose: To feed the recycling plant!
A pit full of bodies is shown. Grif starts screaming, gagging, and runs to vomit off-screen.
Sarge: Caboose! Explain what you think a recycling plant is.
Caboose: Yeah. I wish I could tell you. I've been burying this stuff for years, but one's never grown.
Sarge: Do you mean to say we've been meticulously sorting our corpses from our cans for 15 years and we haven't recycled at all?!
Caboose: I guess not.
Sarge: Huh...Well! It's the thought that counts!
- The energy sword Grif asked for during Season 16 is seen in his waist, and continues to appear in the following PSAs.