Penny Pinchers is a special episode of Red vs. Blue, where the Blood Gulch boys attempt to promote PAX 2004. The first public screening of this episode was at PAX[1] in August 2004.
Characters[]
Red Team[]
Blue Team[]
Synopsis[]
The Reds and Blues runs into obstacles while trying to film an introduction to the 2004 Penny Arcade Exposition convention.
Transcript[]
Cut to: Grif and Simmons on the top of Red Base. There is a mic above Grif and Simmons
Simmons: Hey everbody, welcome to the first annual Penny Arcade Expo.
Church: (off-screen) WHAT?!
Grif: Testing, testing, is this thing on? Can you hear me?
Church: WHAT?
Grif: I think the mic is busted.
Church: Nah just kidding I can hear ya.
Grif: Jerk!
Simmons: Make jokes on your own time asshole! My time is valuable.
There's a beep and the camera cuts to Grif and Simmons in the same place but the camera is adjusted to show Church up close in frame.
Simmons: Hi, I'm Private Dick Simmons from the popular web-series Re-
Church: Oops, wait a minute, I'm in the shot. Hehehe
Simmons: Dammit!
There is once again a beep and a quick cut. Church is no longer in frame
Simmons: (sigh) Hey everybody I'm Private Simmons from the popular web-series Red vs Blue.
Church: (off-screen) Hehehe what?
Grif: And I'm Private Grif, and we'd like to welcome you to the Penny Arcade Expo-
Donut: (Suddenly appearing in frame) Hey everybody!
Church: Cut!
Simmons: Jesus Christ what is going on today? This is gonna take forever!
Grif: (sigh) I'll be in my dressing room
Simmons: Dressing room? You mean the bathroom with a broken toilet?
Grif: Hey, you say tomato.
Donut: What's going on? What's up?
Church: We're trying to record the intro to our PAX show.
Donut: What? Why don't you ask me? Man, you guys never let me be in the big announcements.
Church: Look, we already got it all worked out-
Donut: (begging/crying) Oh pleeeassse I can do it! Please please please
Simmons: Just let him do it before I kill someone!
Cut to just Donut in front of the camera
Donut: Hey everyone I'm sexy Private Donut, welcome to the... wait what the hell is this thing again?
Simmons: God dammit PAX! The Penny Arcade Expo!
Donut: Oh okay, okay okay. Welcome to Penny Arcade 10, the greatest Exposit-
Simmons: Not PA10, P, A, X. PAX PAX PAX!!!
Church: It's the first annual Penny Arcade convention
Donut: First annual? And you already have an abbreviation? Who gave them that abbreviation?
Simmons: They came up with it themselves.
Donut: You can't just give yourself an abbreviation. You have to earn it baby. Like, uh, NYC or M... N... M.
Simmons: M, N?
Donut: The rapper!
Simmons: You moron that's Eminem!
Donut: See, you know who he is, he earned his letters.
Church: You're an idiot
Donut: What is this Penny Arcade anyway?
Church: It's a very very popular website. Very.
Donut: With mega-chicks? (?)
Simmons: No, it's a comic strip.
Church: Actually it's more like a lengthy diatribe manifesto kind of a thing. But disguised as a comic strip
Simmons: Right. Kinda like the Unabomber. But with crayons!
Church: Exactly.
Donut: And people go to this sight every day?
Simmons: Yeah pretty much, they put out about 3 strips a week
Church: Wow, 3 jokes a week, one wonders how they can keep up the pace.
Simmons: (Nervously) Shut up, Tycho has eyes everywhere.
Church: Is that camera still on?
Simmons: Ah I'm going to the bathroom.
Church: Toilet's busted remember?