Red vs. Blue Wiki
Advertisement
Red vs. Blue Wiki

Penny Pinchers is a special episode of Red vs. Blue, where the Blood Gulch boys attempt to promote PAX 2004. The first public screening of this episode was at PAX[1] in August 2004.

Characters[]

Red Team[]

Blue Team[]

Synopsis[]

The Reds and Blues runs into obstacles while trying to film an introduction to the 2004 Penny Arcade Exposition convention.

Transcript[]

Cut to: Grif and Simmons on the top of Red Base. There is a mic above Grif and Simmons

Simmons: Hey everbody, welcome to the first annual Penny Arcade Expo.

Church: (off-screen) WHAT?!

Grif: Testing, testing, is this thing on? Can you hear me?

Church: WHAT?

Grif: I think the mic is busted.

Church: Nah just kidding I can hear ya.

Grif: Jerk!

Simmons: Make jokes on your own time asshole! My time is valuable.

There's a beep and the camera cuts to Grif and Simmons in the same place but the camera is adjusted to show Church up close in frame.

Simmons: Hi, I'm Private Dick Simmons from the popular web-series Re-

Church: Oops, wait a minute, I'm in the shot. Hehehe

Simmons: Dammit!

There is once again a beep and a quick cut. Church is no longer in frame

Simmons: (sigh) Hey everybody I'm Private Simmons from the popular web-series Red vs Blue.

Church: (off-screen) Hehehe what?

Grif: And I'm Private Grif, and we'd like to welcome you to the Penny Arcade Expo-

Donut: (Suddenly appearing in frame) Hey everybody!

Church: Cut!

Simmons: Jesus Christ what is going on today? This is gonna take forever!

Grif: (sigh) I'll be in my dressing room

Simmons: Dressing room? You mean the bathroom with a broken toilet?

Grif: Hey, you say tomato.

Donut: What's going on? What's up?

Church: We're trying to record the intro to our PAX show.

Donut: What? Why don't you ask me? Man, you guys never let me be in the big announcements.

Church: Look, we already got it all worked out-

Donut: (begging/crying) Oh pleeeassse I can do it! Please please please

Simmons: Just let him do it before I kill someone!

Cut to just Donut in front of the camera

Donut: Hey everyone I'm sexy Private Donut, welcome to the... wait what the hell is this thing again?

Simmons: God dammit PAX! The Penny Arcade Expo!

Donut: Oh okay, okay okay. Welcome to Penny Arcade 10, the greatest Exposit-

Simmons: Not PA10, P, A, X. PAX PAX PAX!!!

Church: It's the first annual Penny Arcade convention

Donut: First annual? And you already have an abbreviation? Who gave them that abbreviation?

Simmons: They came up with it themselves.

Donut: You can't just give yourself an abbreviation. You have to earn it baby. Like, uh, NYC or M... N... M.

Simmons: M, N?

Donut: The rapper!

Simmons: You moron that's Eminem!

Donut: See, you know who he is, he earned his letters.

Church: You're an idiot

Donut: What is this Penny Arcade anyway?

Church: It's a very very popular website. Very.

Donut: With mega-chicks? (?)

Simmons: No, it's a comic strip.

Church: Actually it's more like a lengthy diatribe manifesto kind of a thing. But disguised as a comic strip

Simmons: Right. Kinda like the Unabomber. But with crayons!

Church: Exactly.

Donut: And people go to this sight every day?

Simmons: Yeah pretty much, they put out about 3 strips a week

Church: Wow, 3 jokes a week, one wonders how they can keep up the pace.

Simmons: (Nervously) Shut up, Tycho has eyes everywhere.

Church: Is that camera still on?

Simmons: Ah I'm going to the bathroom.

Church: Toilet's busted remember?

References[]

Video[]

 	PSA-_Penny_Pinchers_-_Red_vs_Blue 	 			 
Advertisement