Old Annoyance Be Forgot is a PSA created for Christmas 2004.
Characters[]
Red Team[]
Blue Team[]
Synopsis[]
Celebrating Christmas in the wasteland, Simmons and Grif remember the swell times they had with their missing friends. However, Tucker reminds them about their previous Christmas with Church, and how he ruined it for them all.
Transcript[]
| Fade in on Simmons and Grif looking up at a building with unlit Christmas lights on it | |
| Simmons: | Okay Tucker, hit it! |
| Tucker: | Okay. |
| Sound of failed electricity, and the lights come on... dimly | |
| Grif: | That looks perfect! Merry Christmas buddy. |
| Simmons: | Perfect?! That looks like crap. Half o' the lights are burned out. |
| Grif: | I meant perfect by our standards. |
| Simmons: | Gah, this sucks. |
| Grif: | That's not the holiday spirit, Simmons! |
| Simmons: | Holidays? Christmas is about snow and family and turkey. Not a bunch of busted lights and drinking Donut's egg nog out of an old oil can. |
| Sarge: | No Donut, for the last time, I don't wanna know what the secret ingredient is! |
| Grif: | Simmons, holidays are when you think about more than just your own wants and needs. |
| Tucker: | Yeah. You should be thinking of people less fortunate than you. And that makes you feel better, because those suckers are chumps. And who wants to be a chump? |
| Grif: | No-body. Chumps are a bunch of punks. |
| Simmons: | But what about our missing friends, like Lopez, and your buddy Church? Don't you remember last year when we were all together back home? It was swell. |
| Tucker: | Miss Church... Do you remember last year? |
| Creative camera effect to change scenes to the tree in Blood Gulch, done up with a handful of Christmas ornaments | |
| Simmons: | Well, uhgh, it's not much Grif, but it's ours. Merry Christmas, old buddy. |
| Sniper shot takes out one of the ornaments | |
| Simmons: | What the hell? |
| Grif: | Hey! |
| Church: | (holding a sniper rifle) Oops! Looks like you lost one of your ornaments, pricks! I guess this year it's not "Ho Ho Ho," it's just... "Ho Ho!" |
| Church fires the sniper rifle again | |
| Church: | Booya! |
| Simmons: | Cut that out, asshole! |
| Grif: | Yeah! |
| Church: | Oh! Now you got just one ho! |
| Tucker: | I wish I had just one- |
| Church: | Oh shut the fuck up, Tucker. |
| Tucker: | What, that was gonna be funny. |
| Creative camera effect to change scenes to Caboose, Donut and Church standing somewhere | |
| Caboose: | Aaand this year, I'm going to ask Santa for, a pony. ...And a cowboy. |
| Church: | I think there's something you should know about Santa. Come here. |
| Church walks over to Caboose | |
| Church: | (whispering) Whisper whisper boyfriend whisper whisper. |
| Caboose: | No! |
| Church: | (whispering) Yeah he used to be a chick, too. Whisper whisper. |
| Caboose: | Noooo!!! (runs off) |
| Church: | Oh, where ya going? Hey, you really want a pony, I got something I could put down your throat. That'll make you a little hoarse. Heh heh heh. (to Donut) What're you lookin' at? |
| Creative camera effect to change scenes to Tucker and Church near Sheila | |
| Tucker: | Hey Church, I'm still trying to figure out what to get Caboose. |
| Church: | Christmas is in seven hours moron. |
| Tucker: | I know. If you wait until last minute you get all the good deals. |
| Church: | Ah just get everybody the same thing, that's what I did. |
| Tucker: | Let me guess. Everyone's getting a lump of coal. |
| Church: | Fuck no, you know how much coal costs? Like five bucks a ton! I'm not spending that much on you losers! You're all gettin' a lump of smoal. |
| Tucker: | What's smoal? |
| Church: | It's a knockoff synthetic coal. It's just as good as the real thing, except when you burn it is doesn't make any heat, just makes smoke. |
| Tucker: | Huh, what? How does it make smoke with no heat? |
| Church: | How the fuck do I know? Ask the fine makers of smoal. |
| Creative camera effect to change scenes to the red team in their base | |
| Sarge: | I have some bad news, fellas. I just got a memo from Command. |
| Grif: | What is the war over or somethin'? |
| Sarge: | No, even worse. Apparently Santa has signed an exclusive deal with the Blue team. He's gonna be wearing a blue Santa suit for the next five years. |
| Simmons: | Are you sure that someone from Blue team didn't send that as a joke? |
| Sarge: | No Simmons, we're definitely on the naughty list for the foreseeable future. |
| Simmons: | Come on, are you sure about this? |
| Sarge: | Of course! It came from Command! It's signed by a, Korporal Dick Goesinya. Wait a second! Corporal isn't spelled with a K! |
| Creative camera effect to change scenes to Tucker next to the tree, with a present under it, and Church | |
| Tucker: | Church, it hasn't been the best holiday, but I think I found the perfect gift for you. Merry Christmas buddy. |
| Church: | I thought we agreed not to get each other anything this year. |
| Tucker: | No we didn't! |
| Church: | Oh. Well, maybe I'm mistaken. |
| Tucker: | Mistaken? You specifically told me to get you something. |
| Church: | I did? |
| Tucker: | You gave me a catalog with stuff circled in it. |
| Church: | Huh. Doesn't ring a bell. |
| Tucker: | You set a budget for us, between three hundred and three fifty. |
| Church: | Oh well, I guess it's just one of those things. |
| Tucker: | Fuck you, I'm keeping it. |
| Church: | Tucker, isn't Christmas the season of giving-Holy Shit, blue Santa! |
| Tucker: | (turning) Where? (turns back to see the present gone) Aw crap. |
| Creative fade back to Simmons Tucker and Grif in the future | |
| Simmons: | Now that I'm thinking about it, maybe it's better that Church isn't here this year. |
| Tucker: | Yeah, Christmas is the one day of the year you should never miss Church. |
| Church: | Ah, forget it douchebags! You're all still gettin' lumps of smoal! |
| Tucker: |
Ah crap. |
Trivia[]
- When the video transitions from the Halo 2 to Halo: Combat Evolved engine, the game's HUD can briefly be seen before the aspect ratio shrinks to the original size from Seasons 1 and 2.
Video[]
