|Red vs. Blue Episode|
The teams prepare for the 2005 Sundance Film Festival.
Fade in to Church approaching Sarge atop Blue Base
Church: Hey Sarge? You know that Sundance Film Festival thing we're going to?
Sarge: 'Course I do. You were s'posed to book the hotel rooms for that.
Church: Uh yeah, that was too expensive so I had to make other arrangements.
Sarge: What? How much was the hotel?
Church: Twelve thousand dollars.
Sarge: What does that break down to per day?
Church: That is per day.
Sarge: So where're we staying?
Church: Some place rustic, you know, with a real "authentic Utah" feel. It's called Colorado.
Sarge: We don't want authentic! We're gonna be hob-gobbing with Hollywood types! The only thing they have in common with people from Utah are multiple wives!
Cut to Grif and Simmons standing below the base. Sarge approaches them.
Grif: Uh hey Sarge, we got a problem!
Sarge: What now?
Grif: You know those gift baskets you wanted for the panel presentation? Well we couldn't get all the sponsors you wanted, so... we had to improvise.
Sarge: Did you get those Sidekick phones, like Paris Hilton uses?
Grif: Uh, no, but we got a beeper used by Becky Sue Johnson, the heiress to the Howard Johnson empire.
Sarge: What about the iPods?
Grif: We got something called iPuds.
Grif: ...Don't ask.
Sarge: Well did you get anything good?
Grif: Uh, let's see. We got Pormel.
Church: Pormel, the meat packing company?
Simmons: Not Hormel, Pormel. They don't actually make meat products, they make meat by-products.
Grif: We also got sponsored by a plumbing supply company over on Fifth Avenue.
Sarge: Son, we're going to the Sundance Film Festival. The mecca for the cultural and creative elite!
Grif and Simmons: ...(laughs)
Simmons: Cultural elite. Good one Sarge.
Sarge: Thanks, but seriously. You wanna hand out cans of chilli and bottles of Drain-O?
Simmons: It's got kind of a nice thematic cohesion when you think about it Sir.
Sarge: Simmons, that's one hell of a literary stretch, and pretty low-brow if you ask me.
Simmons: I prefer the term Mainstream Sir.
Church: What're you, a publicist?
Grif: Hey Sarge, real quick: Chloe Sevigny, beans or no beans?
Sarge: Son, I couldn't even begin to answer that question.
Church: Beans have carbs, dumbass. People in Hollywood die if they eat those.
Grif: Gotcha. Extra beans.