|Red vs. Blue Episode|
|"MIA: Episode 3"|
|Airdate||November 26, 2011|
At Red Base, Sarge makes a call to Command and gets a happy response from Vic. Sarge becomes delighted by the fact that Vic remembers him, when in reality, Vic actually doesn't. Nonetheless, Vic looks up "Blood Gulch" in the database and realizes how terrible the soldiers are there. Sarge explains their situation about a kidnapped Grif to Vic. However, Vic tells him that he was probably "captured" because there is no kidnapping in war. After the two get into a short debate, Vic comes to the conclusion that Grif is most likely at the Blue base and tells Sarge to check there. Vic then decides to send the Reds a medic for reinforcements and calls up Doc to chat with Sarge. After some more negotiations, Doc agrees to come help out and Sarge decides to go attack the Blues.
Meanwhile, at Blue Base, Church and Tucker come to help Caboose move the boxes, but have sarcastically realized that he has already finished. Caboose, under much stress, forgives them nonetheless. He also tells them that some of the items inside the boxes have broken, but not to his influence, resulting in an angry Church. Trying to calm him down, Caboose tells him about a radio station he heard involving the Reds, Command, and a missing Grif. Church realizes Caboose had intercepted one of the Reds' calls, but Tucker just thinks Caboose is crazy. Church then explains to them that they now have a one-man advantage, but this only confuses Tucker and Caboose.
In order to obtain more information, Church asks Caboose about what else he heard on the radio. Caboose tries his best think about what he heard, but is unable to remember. Suddenly, Sarge and Simmons begin running over a hill toward the Blues, firing their guns and throwing their grenades in a surprise attack, causing Caboose to remember again.
The Red team are on top of their base, calling to Command.
Sarge: Come in Command, come in!
Vic: This is Command, go ahead dude.
Sarge: This is Sarge, from Blood Gulch Outpost Number 1.
Vic: Oh! Hey, dude, riiight! Blood Gulch.
Sarge: Ah, you remember me?
Vic: Actually, no I don't. I was just faking. Said what you said. Hey, hold on dude, let me check you up in the old database here dude. (Taps away at keyboard while humming away). Ahh, here we go, got your stats right here, Blood Gulch. Wow... you guys are terrible at everything!
Sarge: One of our soldiers have been kidnapped!
Vic: Kidnapped? You mean captured?
Sarge: No, kidnapped!
Vic: We don't really call it kidnapped in war, dude. Is there an enemy base nearby?
Sarge: Like Blue Base?
Vic: There you go dude, Blue Base. Yeah, let me...yeah... maybe you should check there. They probably have your dude, dude...
Sarge: Brilliant! Why didn't I think of that?!
Simmons: That's actually a really good question, sir. You blame the Blues for everything around here. You blame them when our equipment's broken. You blame them when we run out of ammo...
Sarge: OK, Simmons...
Simmons: You even blamed them once when it rained!
Sarge: I get it, now shut up! I'm on the phone.
Simmons: You yelled at me and hurt my feelings. So suck it, Sir.
Vic: Hey dude, here's what I can do for you. Since you're a man down, I can send you some reinforcements.
Sarge: You mean like a Freelancer?
Vic: No way, dude. Those guys are expensive as hell. Plus, attitude!
Sarge: Well, what have you got?
Vic: How about a medic?
Sarge: You mean like Doc?
Vic: Yeah! Hold on, I'll see if he's available. Let me, uh, add him into the call here. (Taps away the keyboard, humming). Come in, Doc. Hello, Doc. Ring-a-ding.
Doc: Hello! this is Doc.
Vic: Hey, Doc. This is Vic from Command. Got Sarge on the line now, gonna connect you.
Sarge: Uh, hey, Doc.
Doc: Hi... Sarge. It's... weird to hear from you.
Sarge: Yeah... feel the same way. Listen, we have a kidnapped soldier over here.
Doc: Oh no, who is it?
Doc: Who would kidnap Grif?
Sarge: Apparently someone with a lot of latex gloves and hand sanitizer. Bottom line is, we're a man down. And we think the Blues are gonna attack at any moment. Can you help us?
Doc: Sure, what do you need?
Sarge: How's the kill count these days?
Doc: Super high! ...Wait, do you mean on the battlefield? Zero. I thought you meant on the operating table.
Sarge: Aw, great. Don't tell me you're still one of those lame pacifa-whatevers.
Doc: Yes, Sarge, I still am. You don't just turn that off when it's convenient. It's not like being a vegan.
Sarge: Well, get down here. We're attacking soon, and we need all the help we can get.
Simmons: Oh, wait a second sir. I thought you said the Blues were attacking us?
Sarge: We're not gonna wait around for that to happen, Simmons. As everyone knows, the best defence is a good offense. So let's put our defence to work attacking their offense, before they have a chance to establish a good defence...by attacking us first!
Simmons: I'm just gonna... go loot my gun, sir.
Sarge: Good man. (To Doc) Doc, get down here. Need you to patch up Simmons when he gets killed.
Doc: On my way!
Cut to Tucker and Church walking up to Caboose outside Blue Base
Church: Hey Caboose, we're gonna help you move all the boxes back in the, uh... oh man, you're done?
Caboose pants heavily
Church: Oh, no, look Tucker, we didn't get to help Caboose the way we wanted to.
Tucker: (deadpan) Oh man, that's terrible. I was really looking forward to that.
Church: I guess we'll just have to help you next time.
Caboose: (still panting) Ah, it's okay. Yeah, I had fun doing it. ...Oh, also, some of the boxes and the things inside the boxes are broken now, but I'm pretty sure that's how they were like before I touched them... and then dropped them.
Church: (sighs angrily) Caboose....!
Caboose: Oh, also, the work went super-fast because I found a new radio station to listen to. It had a cool song about a Red Base and a Command.
Church: Whoa, whoa, wait a second, wait a second. What radio station were you listening to?
Caboose: Oh, the one inside my helmet. You know, the ones with all the voices right waiiit, (concerned) we have radio stations in our helmet right?
Caboose: (relieved) Oh, thank God.
Church: Uh huh... And what did these voices say to you?
Caboose: Uh, they talked about how Grif was missing, and how Red Team only had two men now, and how they really needed help.
Church: I think he might have intercepted a call from the Reds.
Tucker: I think he's just crazy. (to Caboose) Hey, Caboose, if the voices tell you to do anything to your parents, just remember, Church is your father figure.
Caboose: Yea, the voices don't say that... But they do call me a dirtbag every now and then. It makes me feel pretty bad about myself... Also, some of the voices ... sound like some of the other voices.
Church: (quickly) Well what can you do, casting is expensive, shut your mouth. (Looks around) Wait, don't you guys see? If the Reds only have 2 guys, we have a strategic advantage.
Tucker: How so?
Church: What do you mean, how so?! We have more than they do, it's simple math.
Tucker: Dude, if I was good at math, do you think I'd have joined the Army? The Space Army?
Church: They have two guys, we have 1... 2... 3 guys. We have an advantage.
Church: What do you mean, two?
Caboose: We have 2 guys.
Church: (irritated) No... no! 3. 1... 2... 3.
Caboose: Ah, see, you're counting yourself!
Church: Yes, so what? I'm still in the team! Still count myself, even though I'm the one counting.
Tucker: No, but it does matter that you're a really, really crappy soldier.
Church: OK, that's a good point. Look, the deal is, we have more guys than they do, which is an advantage. And we should use this advantage, to our, uh...
Church: Yes, advantage, thank you.
Tucker: Maybe we should use this opportunity to buy a Thesaurus. Help you learn some new words.
Church: Caboose, what else did the radio call say?
Caboose: Yeah, there was one other thing. Erm, thinking, thinking... thinking...
Church: Come on, think. Think, Caboose!
Tucker: Church, how long have you worked with Caboose? Do you really believe that just saying "think" is gonna help?
Caboose: Ah, yeah, they said they were gonna get another guy, and then they were going to do something... What were they going to do? They were going to...
(Reds charge over the hill, firing their guns, and throwing grenades at the Blues)
Screen fades over the sound of gunfire
Caboose: That... that's right. That's it. THANK YOU, Sergeant!
- Caboose's comment that some of the guys sound like other guys is a reference to the fact that Matt Hullum voices both Sarge and Doc. Church then responds by saying that casting is very expensive.
- Caboose's concern about having voices in his head could be a possible reference to his experience with Omega.