|Red vs. Blue Episode|
|Airdate|| April 29, 2018 (FIRST members)|
May 6, 2018
Lost Time is the third episode of Red vs. Blue: The Shisno Paradox. It aired on April 29, 2018 for FIRST members and May 6, 2018 for the general public. It is the 327th episode overall.
- Washington (Mentioned only)
- Tex (Mentioned only)
- Donut (Mentioned only)
- Wyoming (Mentioned only)
- Loco (Mentioned only)
Grif and Doc land at some point during the Ice Age. Doc excitedly ponders about Kalirama and Donut's riddle while Grif pushes all of this off and tries to work the Time gun, furious that he got roped into another fiasco and that he got stuck with "The least useful teamate" and a "Traitor." Doc admits he is disappointed with himself after his actions in Season 15 and holds himself responsible for all the death and violence that occurred. While Doc was talking, Grif finds a Shuffle button on the Time gun.
Tucker and Sister land at Valhalla before Tex's ship crashed. Sister tells Tucker that because they have the ability to Time-Travel, they can do Donut's Plan whenever and suggests that they have "fun" first, stating that she wants to have a few weeks of sex to get her head straight. Tucker misinterprets this as Sister wanting to have sex with him and becomes upset when she reveals she meant using the Time gun to bang celebrities before they die. Tucker defends himself saying that they've done it before at Blood Gulch shortly after Why Were We Here? so it wasn't out of the question, but sister corrects him saying they almost did but it was interrupted so she writes off the experience as unmemorable. This hurts Tucker's feelings, causing him to go run off by himself for a while.
Sarge and Simmons land in Ancient Egypt during the creation of the Pyramids. Simmons wants to take the Time Gun to a lab and disassemble it so they can study how it works, but Sarge argues that they might not be able to get it to work again afterwards and convinces Simmons that they can study it by using it. Sarge then decides the first event in the past they should fix is The Battle of Broken Ridge, a Battle Sarge led during his time in the Military proper that ended with his Soldiers being horribly massacred. They arrive at The Battle of Broken Ridge and begin to watch the events unfold unseen on a cliff edge. Past Sarge orders his men to charge up the left side of the hill to flank the enemy while he provides cover fire for their charge. However, as Present Sarge watches this, from his perspective he see's the soldiers charging up the right side causing him to believe the reason they were massacred was because they went the wrong way. Simmons tries to correct him but Present Sarge ignores this, runs down to the soldiers halfway up the hill and tells them to go back down and run up the other way. Confused, the soldiers obey and run back down the hill. When arrive again at the bottom, they are stopped by Past Sarge and told to go back to charging up the hill. The Soldiers run back up, but are once again stopped by Present Sarge and told to go back down again. Throughout this whole ordeal, soldiers are gradually being shot and killed by enemy soldiers camped at the top of the hill.
Caboose and Lopez land on Planet Reach sometime before it was Glassed. After landing, Lopez bangs his head on a rock causing it to fall off, which Caboose repairs using sticks, leaves, spit and glue. Caboose tries to remember Donut's riddle (Lopez knows it, but Caboose can't understand him) and ends up interpreting it as "Savings for the future" and "Fixed Interest rates" leading him to the conclusion that they need to open a savings account. However, before leaving, Caboose realises he lost his Lucky Penny (which he found in Blue vs Blue) and decides to retrace their steps to find it because they can't open a savings account without any money. They travel back to the point where they were deciding what to eat in The Shisno. Caboose approaches their past selves and questions them revealing that unbeknownst to the Reds and Blues, the Caboose asking where his Penny was in The Shisno was actually from the future. Not knowing about this, Past Grif tells him to go back to finding Donut. Caboose walks away from the Reds and Blues from the Past and jumps into another time portal to look for his Penny while Lopez direly follows, helpless to stop any of Caboose's actions.
The scene opens on a vast snowy landscape with bright blue sky.
DOC: That was mental! Absolutely mental! What the heck did we do to her? And who was she? Grif? Grif! Say something!
GRIF: Can you please just give it a rest?
DOC: But Grif! What do you think it all means?
GRIF: I'm not thinking about it at all!
DOC: So you're just gonna ignore the giant, four-armed goddess in the room.
GRIF: All I know is if I don't figure out how this stupid machine works, we’re gonna freeze out here.
DOC: Let me take a look. I'm pretty good with technology. Better than I am with anatomy. [Nervous laughter.]
GRIF: Back the hell off.
DOC: I'm detecting some hostility from you. You mad... at me?
GRIF: I'm mad at everything! The world! The universe! I'm mad we got roped into some new bullshit, and yeah, I'm mad I got lost in time with this purple Brutus of an asshole, the least useful teammate ever—or should I say former teammate, since you cozied up with our enemies!
DOC: Yeah... It's okay you hate me. Grif, if I'm being transparent, I kinda hate me right now too.
GRIF: Oh God, Doc, please spare me.
DOC: Yeah. I should’ve figured out the Blues and Reds were bad guys sooner. Because I didn't, I'm responsible for all the violence, and the heartbreak, the death. For Wash being hurt, for Loco. I let down my friends on all sides, and... [Sighs.] I'm torn to bits about it.
There's a buzzing noise as Grif activates the time gun and opens a pink portal.
'DOC: Hey, you did it! You figured it out!
GRIF: No! I just found the shuffle button.
The scene cuts to Tucker and Sister in Valhalla, standing behind Red Base examining their time gun.
TUCKER: Seriously? Are you sure?
SISTER: I know that symbol! It's a shuffle button.
TUCKER: Who the hell builds a time machine with a shuffle button?
SISTER: Apparently God.
TUCKER: I don't buy that. I'm atheist.
SISTER: That's dumb. I'm militant agnostic. I don't know what's out there, and neither do you!
TUCKER: So, it looks like we’re in Valhalla, and I guess it's... maybe after we were living here? I don't see the crashed Pelican, so we don't have to worry about running into ourselves at least.
SISTER: It must be before. Some developers bought the land, and now Valhalla is all condos.
TUCKER: All right then. So we’re in the past. Now what? Do we try to Sherlock Donut's last message? Go and fix the past?
SISTER: We could, but... is there really a rush? I mean, we have a time machine, so we can do Donut's thing whenever. Maybe you and I can have some fun first.
TUCKER: Ohohoho, fun! You want to get down!
SISTER: Definitely! Shit's been gettin’ a little too real at work lately. I need a few weeks of dumb sex to get my head on straight.
TUCKER: Say no more.
SISTER: Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Tucker?
TUCKER: Depends. How far backwards can you bend?
SISTER: Sean Connery's first for me, and that Daenerys Targaryen chick, and um, King Tut?
TUCKER: You want to use the time machine for autographs?
SISTER: What? No, dummy. I want to use it to bang dead celebrities while they're still young and sexy. Or when they're old and sexy! Or both! Man, I'm gonna have a field day with George Clooney.
SISTER: What did you think I meant? That I wanted meaningless sex with you?
TUCKER: Well, yeah.
TUCKER: What? I mean, it's not exactly a stretch of the imagination. There's precedent! It wouldn't be the first time.
SISTER: Uh, yeah it would.
TUCKER: What about back at Blood Gulch?
SISTER: Back at Blood Gulch what?
TUCKER: We hooked up!
SISTER: No, we didn't.
TUCKER: Come on! After that fight with Wyoming and Tex? The cave?
SISTER: Oh, the cave! You count that?
TUCKER: Yeah, I friggin’ count that! We did a sex!
SISTER: I'm pretty sure we almost did a sex. But something happened and it stopped? I don't know. It wasn't very memorable.
SISTER: Oh, did I just hurt your feelings?
TUCKER: No! [Walks away quickly.]
SISTER: Where are you going?
TUCKER: I'm going—for a jog. Get some exercise in.
SISTER: All right! Whatever. [Looks at the time gun.] How's this fuckin’ thing work?
SARGE: (voiceover) Watch your language, Simmons!
Cut to Sarge and Simmons
SIMMONS: Sorry, sir. I just can't figure this thing out. I mean, there's no room for technology in this device. There's no power source, no control board, no anything! It's basically like magic.
SARGE: Red Team's got a magic gun! Hoo-rah!
SIMMONS: We live in a world of science, Sarge. There's no such thing as magic. Doesn't this scare you?
SARGE: Scared, shmared, Simmons! We’ve got an objective to tackle. Donut told us to fix our past! And I know where to start! The Battle of Broken Ridge.
SIMMONS: Oh... Are you sure you want to reopen old wounds like that? It can't be healthy to relive such a traumatic experience.
SARGE: That's why we’re not going to relive it, Simmons! We’re gonna repair it. Just like Donut's incredibly clear riddle commanded!
SIMMONS: I think—actually, I insist that before we use this time machine... gun... we need to take it to a laboratory so that they can disassemble it and we can see how it works!
SARGE: Abso-frackin’-lutely not, Simmons! What if they can't put it back together! Like when you try to cheat with a Rubix cube. There's just pieces everywhere.
SIMMONS: I told you we should’ve just taken the stickers off. Sir, with everything that's happened—I mean, Donut dying and coming back, God, aliens, time travel? None of it makes any sense! Now, here, at least we have something in front of us we can get some answers from. We have a thing to study.
SARGE: Study, shmudy, you fuddy-duddy!
SIMMONS: But nothing about this situation makes any sense!
SARGE: Sense, shmense, Simmons!
SIMMONS: That's incredibly talented, but you can't rhyme your way out of everything.
SIMMONS: It's dangerous to use it--
SIMMONS: --without knowing what we’re doing!
SARGE: Fortune favors the bold, Simmons! You think Tommy Edison invented electricity by sitting around thinking about it? Heck no! He flew a kite in a goddamn lightning storm! Well Simmons, you're holding the kite in them there hands. Do you want to take it apart, or see how that baby flies?
SIMMONS: Interesting. So you're saying we should study it by using it.
SARGE: What part of ‘Study, shmudy, fuddy-duddy’ was unclear?
Cut to a mysterious new setting.
SIMMONS: Simmons’ Science Log, star date: the past. Chrononaut Dick Simmons has developed a controlled experiment to further the human understanding of time travel. Subject Red has decided to use the time machine to return to the Battle of Broken Ridge in order to, quote, ‘set right the course of history,’ unquote. We have thus traveled into the past. One small step for Simmons, one giant--
SARGE: Simmons! Who are you talking to?
SIMMONS: Euh, no one! I was—napping, while standing up. And I was talking in my sleep.
SARGE: Well, quit your Grifin’ and get over here.
SIMMONS: [Whispers.] Simmons’ log out.
Sarge moves to a ridge overlooking a battlefield on which a squad of Reds are under heavy fire from an unseen enemy. Simmons follows.
SARGE: Heh heh. Look, Simmons. It's just how I remember it. The enemy was dug in at the top of this here hillside. We'd been pinned down for days. Then, one day, moments ago, sniper took him out. And I finally got my chance. Look on down there, Simmons. You can see it happening!
SOLDIER 1: Lieutenant Sarge! Sergeant Lieutenant is down, sir! You're our commanding officer now. What do we do?
PAST SARGE: Well friends, there's only one thing to do! We must charge the enemy. I'll cover for you here, while you flank up the left side of this hill.
SOLDIERS: Sir, yes sir!
SOLDIER 2: I love you, sir!
PAST SARGE: Let me get a hoo-rah!
SARGE: Look at ‘em go, Simmons! They’re--wait just a minute. They’re going the wrong way. I told them the left side of the hill!
SIMMONS: Well, Sarge, I mean really it is just a matter of perspective.
SARGE: Don’t you go starting up with that New Age Chomsky crap now, Simmons! No wonder they were massacred. I can’t let this happen!
Sarge runs down to meet the Red soldiers.
SOLDIER 3: We lost Rick!
SOLDIER 1: It’s okay. We’re halfway. Everybody get set. We’ll go after--
SARGE: What do you idiots think you’re doin’?
SOLDIER 1: Sarge? How did you get here?
SARGE: I'm the Ghost of Christmas Future. Listen up. I order you idiots to double back to the bottom, and charge up the other side!
The Red soldiers obey his order.
PAST SARGE: What in Sam Hill are you men doin’ down here? I told you to charge up the left side of that hill. Sarge charge up the left side of that hill!
Cut to present Sarge.
SARGE: I said no such thing! Now get back down there and follow my orders!
SOLDIER 3: Sarge, sir! Theos is down! He's not breathin’!
SARGE: You tell that lazy idiot to wake up!
Cut to Lopezvision. We see Caboose through Lopez's green-tinted visor.
CABOOSE: Wake up! Wake up, Lopez! Can you hear me? Blink once if you can still blink!
LOPEZ: No tengo párpados, Caboose. [I don't have eyelids, Caboose.]
CABOOSE: That's right, you fell, Lopez! You banged your head and your head fell off and I had to make a glue out of leaves and spit and glue and put your head back on your body, and do you feel better?
LOPEZ: No me siento todo mejor. [I don't feel all better.]
CABOOSE: That's good, you feel all better! I need—I need—I need your help, Lopez. We need to work together to figure out Donut's riddle. I only remember pieces!
LOPEZ: Salvar el futuro significa arreglar el pasado. [Saving the future means fixing the past.]
CABOOSE: Nah, I'm--I'm pretty sure it was in English. Something about savings... futures. And then a bit about fixed interest savings rates.
LOPEZ: No importa lo que diga. Solo vas a continuar. [It doesn't matter what I say. You're just going to keep going.]
CABOOSE: Savings for the future... savings for the future... means... [Mutters incomprehensibly.] Savings for the future means... fixed interest rates! You did it, Lopez! We need to start savings accounts! Come on Lopez! [Takes off, then stops short and feels for his pockets.] Wait... wait... where is it? [Whirls around.] Lopez, I have been robbed. My lucky penny! My lucky penny, Lopez, I cannot lose that! I love that penny! I remember when I found it just like it was—like it was yesterday!
Jump cut to yesterday. Caboose is in a corridor with two other Blue soldiers running up behind him. He reaches for something on the ground.
PAST CABOOSE: Oh look! A penny.
CABOOSE: Lopez, we can't start savings accounts if we don't have any money! We need to use this teleporter maker to retrace our steps.
LOPEZ: Dios mio, esto va a ser contraproducente. [My god, this is going to backfire.]
CABOOSE: Oh, it won't backfire Lopez. [Shoots a portal with the time gun.] Let's go!
LOPEZ: ¿Esperar lo? [Wait, what?]
Lopez and Caboose emerge from the portal in a grassy area framed by large rocks. It is soon revealed to be the island back on Earth when the camera pans, revealing the Reds and Blues gathered by their Pelican, just as they were when the season began.
CABOOSE: Hey look! It's everybody! [Darts out from behind a boulder.] Has anyone seen my penny?
PAST GRIF: Caboose! Focus! What did we tell you to do?
CABOOSE: Start a fixed-interest savings account!
PAST GRIF: No! Find Donut!
CABOOSE: Okay! [Runs back to Lopez.] They haven't seen it, Lopez! Better keep looking.
LOPEZ: Indefenso, miré el fin del mundo. [Helpless, I watched the end of the world.]
- Tucker is revealed to be an atheist, while Sister considers herself a militant agnostic, like her brother.
- Sister's bisexuality comes up again, mentioning wanting to have sex with Daenerys Targaryen, from the television series Game of Thrones.
- This is the only episode in the season where Lopez has more than one line.
- This episode is also the only episode in the season where a member of the Cosmic Powers doesn't appear at all.
- It's revealed that when Caboose asked the group if they've seen his penny in The Shisno it was actually his future self. The penny moment itself was from the previous season's episode Blue vs Blue.
- It is implied that Caboose may be able to understand at least some Spanish as he responded to Lopez directly, confusing him.
- It's revealed that during the Great War Sarge was once a Lieutenant but was demoted some time later.
- It is revealed by Sister that Valhalla was purchased by land developers to make condos. The actual Halo 3 map is used, with the Halo 5 characters chroma-keyed in.
- It's later revealed in Caboose's Travels that the location Caboose and Lopez land at is the Planet Reach before it's destruction. In the Halo universe, Reach was a major human colony planet that was destroyed by the aliens right before the events of the first Halo game.
- At Broken Ridge, Sarge tells Simmons that his leader was killed by a Sniper. When he says this, he is holding a Sniper Rifle instead of his usual Shotgun, implying that the time-travelling Sarge was actually the one who killed him.
- When Caboose is seen from Lopez's perspective, he is labeled as CAPITAN FURGON DE COLA. Furgon de Cola is the literal translation of "caboose" into Spanish.