I Love Blood Gulch is a special episode for Red vs. Blue about the New York Video Festival of July 23, 2003. The first public screening of this episode was at the festival.
Characters[]
Red Team[]
Blue Team[]
Synopsis[]
Tucker and Church explain to the Reds about the 2003 New York Video Festival.
Transcript[]
| Tucker and Church on the blue base | |
| Tucker: | Why do you need so much underwear? We're only gonna be gone for three days. |
| Behind Church, Simmons and Grif hop out of the Warthog | |
| Church: | Yeah, three days, so I have three pairs. How many did you pack? |
| Tucker: | That depends. Does wearing count as packing? |
| Grif and Simmons come up the ramp to the blue base | |
| Grif: | Hey, what the hell is going on over here? |
| Church: | Hey what're you doing over here reds? This is the blue base. Go back to your own base. |
| Grif: | Yeah we were just wondering if you guys were gonna come fight us today. Uh, considering that, you know, we're in the middle of a war and all. 'Cause we've been waiting out by the tree for like two hours now. |
| Church: | Oh crap. Tucker, you were supposed to send these guys a message, and tell them we weren't gonna be here today, that we had to go to that festival thing. |
| Tucker: | Yeah, I sent it. |
| Grif: | You mean the doodle of the octopus giving us the finger eight times? That message? |
| Tucker: | And that wasn't clear? |
| Church: | Oh, well, sorry guys, but uh, we can't fight today. We gotta go to New York City for a few days. |
| Simmons: | New York? Where's that? |
| Church: | You know, I don't really know. I thought it was the center of the Universe. |
| Tucker: | Yeah, only to the people who live there. |
| Church: | Yeah we're going to this video festival, and we're gonna talk about the ways that we- |
| Tucker: | Video festival? You told me it was a film festival. |
| Church: | No I didn't. |
| Tucker: | What's a video festival? |
| Church: | Well, it's a lot like a film festival. But for people with no money. |
| Tucker: | I'm guessing there's a pretty slim chance that Julia Roberts is gonna be there, huh? |
| Church: | Heh heh heh, dude, I don't even think EricRoberts is gonna be there. |
| Tucker: | Yeah, I'm not going. |
| Church: | Oh, don't be a baby! |
| Grif: | Let me get this straight... We're in the middle of an intergalactic struggle for control of the Universe, and you guys are taking a few days off to go on vacation? |
| Church: | It's not exactly a vacation. They want us to come there and talk about using pre-rendered game engines for animation purposes. It's a more efficient way of creating large projects by using established routine to animate individual characters. It's called uh, machinima, and it's going to be a more and more popular way of doing animation projects. |
| Grif: | Wow. That was the most boring thing anyone has ever said to me. |
| Tucker: | Yeah, is there going to be a quiz on this? |
| Church: | Kiss my ass. |
| Grif: | How are you planning on getting to New York? |
| Tucker: | We were just gonna follow the stench of urine in the streets. We figure, we'll eventually get there. |
| Church: | We're just gonna take the teleporter. Tucker, you ready to go? |
| Tucker: | Yeah, let's go. |
| Church and Tucker move in front of the teleporter | |
| Church: | Okay. We'll be back in a few days, guys, we can start the war back up then. |
| Grif: | Okay, have fun... |
| Church: | And while we're gone, don't drive our tank. |
| Grif: | Fine. |
| Church: | And no parties. |
| Tucker enters the teleporter behind Church | |
| Grif: | Just go. |
| Church enters the teleporter, leaving Grif and Simmons alone at the blue base, where nothing could possibly go wrong | |
| Simmons: | ...So, you wanna go, raid their fridge? |
| Grif: | Yeah, and help me find the keys to the tank. |
| Cut to Church and Tucker appearing on the streets of New York | |
| Tucker: | I thought we were supposed to get transported right to New York? |
| Church: | This is New York. |
| Tucker: | What the f-... where the fuck are all the dead hookers? |
| Church: | Yeah look at that homeless guy over there. He's not even pissing on anything. |
Video[]
