|Red vs. Blue Episode|
|Airdate|| July 30, 2017 (FIRST members)|
August 6, 2017 (public)
Desolation is the eighteenth episode of Red vs. Blue: Season 15. It aired on July 30, 2017, for FIRST members and August 6, 2017, for the general public. It is the 321st episode overall.
- Sister (Mentioned only)
- Church (Mentioned only)
Wash collapses onto the ground and begins losing blood, much to the horror of Tucker and Carolina. Sarge and Caboose, in response, quickly clear out the remainder of the Zealots as Locus calls in his ship A'rynasea, in order to take Wash to the hospital. Tucker demands to come with Locus but the latter tells him that the Reds and Blues need him as their leader right now. Locus then leaves with Wash, as the crew resurfaces above ground and reflect on what just happened, with Tucker feeling guilty over his actions.
Meanwhile, Dylan calls up her physicist friend, who informs her that Loco's machine she sent him is nothing more but a laser drilling machine jokingly put together, despite Dylan's argument that it's a weapon. He adds that in order for the machine to properly function, it would need the power source of a star, concluding it as harmless nonsense, easing Dylan's worries. The Reds and Blues discuss what their next action should be, and while Sarge suggests they go after the Blues and Reds, Tucker remains skeptical since they could be anywhere on Earth. Jax then reveals he might have some footage that could help, but Tucker leaves to be alone.
Jax shows the crew footage of a room he stumbled upon filled with charts displaying markings of an island in the middle of the Indian Ocean, with Sarge explaining that said island has no importance to the UNSC. Dylan then reveals V.I.C. to the others, much to their dismay, and the latter reveals that Temple has been obsessed with the UNSC's headquarters on Earth, hinting that he's attacking it despite it being heavily guarded. Carolina and Dylan then realize that they must think like the Blues and Reds in order to find out what they're actually planning. As a result, they turn to Sarge and Caboose to see what they think. Sarge says that if he was in the Blues and Reds' position, he would tunnel under the base and attack. The group piece together that this is the Blues and Reds' plan and prepare to head out.
Grif then updates Tucker on their plan but Tucker is reluctant to join them, believing they'll only make things worse. He then admits that he thought he was getting better as a leader but recent events have proven otherwise. He suggests they let the authorities deal with it but Grif says they wouldn't believe them. Grif then explains that they need Tucker as he's the best soldier they have, which motivates Tucker to keep fighting. Tucker then leads a motivational speech to the group and assures them that they're finally going home: Earth.
Sarge: Cover me!
Caboose runs up beside Sarge.
Sarge: Quick, Caboose, with me.
Sarge and Caboose run up the stairs
Sarge: (angrily) Remember us, you maggots!?
Red Zealot: Gods be damned! It's the Beast! After seven years of exile, the destroyer has now returned! The prophecy is now complete! The end is-
Caboose cuts the Zealot off by whacking him
Caboose: You! (Whacks a Red Zealot)
Caboose: Hurt! (Whacks a Blue Zealot)
Caboose: My! (Whacks a Red Zealot)
Caboose: Friend! (Whacks a Blue Zealot)
Zealot: It's over, we have lost! AAaaahhh!
Everyone walks over to Washington's body.
Dylan: This...isn't good.
Tucker: Do something! Someone!
Locus: A'rynasea! Come! Quickly!
A'rynasea, (an alien ship) flies into the hangar.
Locus: Help me get him on the ship. Now!
Tucker: Where are you taking him?
Locus: The nearest hospital. He needs immediate care.
Tucker: Well, I'm coming too.
Locus: No room.
Tucker: Fuck that!
Locus: (angrily) The enemy has a head start. If you plan on stopping them, your men are going to need you. Now help me get him on the ship!
A'rynasea leaves the hangar
Cut to the Reds and Blues in the canyon. Tucker: Fuck me! Fuck all of this!
Cut to Dylan talking to James.
James: This is amazing, Dylan! Unbelievable.
Dylan: Why? How? What's it do?
James: This, device, is incredible! No one in the lab has seen anything like it. Where'd you find those plans and pictures?
Dylan: That's not important! What matters is what it does.
James: What it does? What do you mean?
Dylan: You're the physicist, tell me it's damn function, doctor!
James: It's a joke machine, a prank! Who put you up to this? Those clowns at Stockholm?
Dylan: It's not a practical joke, it's a weapon!
James: (Scoffs) Listen, Dylan. This thing is no weapon. It's nonsense. The sheeer sophistication of the nonsense is unfathomable. It would take the worst minds of this generation decades to come up with something this stupid.
Dylan: So, you're saying, "it doesn't work"?
James: You sound concerned. So, I'll walk you through. Overall, it appears to be a self-powered tunneling device.
Dylan: A drill?
James: A laser drill, yeah! Like you'd find on a mining platform, but the drill would take all the energy of a star to function.
Dylan: This makes no sense!
James: And so we've come full circle. Most of the machine is power source, and that's the part that's pure poppycock, pardon my French.
Dylan: So, it definitely won't work?
James: It works as a hilarious joke.
Dylan: (hesitates) Well, I guess that's all I need.
James: I have to thank you for this, the lab life can get so boring, if you can catch my meaning. We're gonna have the interns plug it into the super computer simulators, for funsies. I'll let you know what we find.
Cut to Tucker talking to the group, Carolina isn't there.
Tucker: Just great! So, all of this was for...fucking nothing.
Simmons: So what now?
Grif: Well, there's the smart idea, where we crawl back to base with our tails between our leg, or-
(Grif is cut off by Sarge)
Sarge: -We counterattack with everything we've got!
Tucker: Be serious, guys. The Blues and Reds could be anywhere in the Galaxy by now.
Simmons: Eh, not anywhere. Temple did say Earth.
Tucker: So, anywhere on Earth. That narrows it down to just, one planet!
Dylan: Maybe he left behind clues. Jax,what do you have in the way of footage?
Jax: Well, I'm still sorting through the dailies, but I could be persuaded to show some raw clips! I mean, it won't have any color correction, or film grain, but...
Dylan: You gotta start somewhere.
Tucker: Then I guess you should all get started. I need some time to think, anyway.
Tucker exits, Caboose tries to follow.
Dylan: Let him go. He's, clearly processing.
Cut to the footage room, where a video is playing.
Simmons: Jesus! How much is there?
Jax: Ah, it's about 200 hours. You'll never know what you need in post!
Dylan: There! What's that?
Jax: That's nothing! I was chasing a moth around. Y'know, kinda going for a Terance Malick vibe, and I stumbled into this room that was totally covered in charts!
Jax: Yeah, see? Right here.
The screen shows a globe of the world, with an arrow pointing to an island, stated as, "Kill Zone".
Grif: What are they?! Is he planning a vacation?
Simmons: That close to the arctic? I doubt it.
Sarge: Those islands are of zero strategic importance the UNSC. Hm. Seems like a dead end.
Dylan: Okay. Everyone? I hoped it wouldn't come to this, but, you know that AI Assistant I've mentioned?
Carolina: Your dumb AI? What about it?
Dylan: He spent quite a bit of time in the Blues and Reds network, so he might have...information we can use?
Carolina: Bring him on out then.
Carolina: What are you waiting for?
Dylan: I don't know how to say this, so...well, just don't kill me, alright? Or him. Vic?
Vic: (glitching) Don't listen to her, du-u-u-udes! You should totally kill me if it strikes your fa-a-ancy! No pressure!
Grif: Ah, no fucking way!
Simmons: God! What the hell is he doing here?
Dylan: He agreed to help me back in Blood Gulch, in exchange for a favor.
Vic: That's right, dudes! Dudettes! Vic has joined the gang, office-i-a-ly!...No takebacks.
Grif: I can't believe this shit!
Simmons: What the hell have you been doing all these years?
Vic: Hanging out with Grif's sister! What's up, dudes? Nothing to say about that, eh? No "bow-wow-chika-wink-wink"?
Simmons: We're not really in the mood.
Sarge: Do you know the villains' dastardly plans, or not?
Vic raises an electronic eyebrow.
Vic: If I say no, will you kill me?
Vic: (Glitching out) Alright, dudes! Calm down! Just joking! Things have been gettin' a little too seri-o-so lately, if ya ask me.
Vic: (Still glitching) Anyone miss the good old days, where we were all goofing around all the time? Anyhoo-that Temple duderino was totes McGoats with that shiny new UNSC HQ on Earth.
Sarge: Hm. Sounds like an ideal target, alright.
Vic: Oh, this place is decked out like you wouldn't believe! Half a dozen check points, shields, a battalion of troops stationed there, an entire fleet in the orbit over head, and....two hot tubs.
Simmons: That place is fortified against an all-out alien invasion. There's no chance in hell that the Blues and Reds are going to get within a hundred miles!
Dylan: Yeah, no kidding.
Grif: Alright, so what the hell are they doing?
Carolina: The world's best swordsman. The world's best swordsman doesn't fear the second-best. He fears the worst...because, he can't predict what the idiot will do.
Dylan: That's the key. We need to think like them. Like idiots!
Sarge: Why's everybody looking over here?
Dylan: Sarge, say you needed to sneak attack someone...
Carolina: ...who is in a heavily fortified position.
Dylan: Unbelievable security, all around...what would you do?
Sarge: (laughs) Easy, peasy, Japanesy. I tunnel underneath their feet, and sneak attack from underneath!
Sarge: Just like it says on my tattoo! "Death from below".
Caboose: And tie their shoelaces together, so they can't chase after me!
Sarge: Whambo, bambo, jambo!
Grif: Well, that was pointless.
Dylan: No, That's it! Look! Those islands are on the chart here. If we draw a line striaght through the center of the planet, it ends up here. Right through UNSC Headquarters.
Simmons: (surprised) That's it? They're gonna tunnel from the Earth from those islands?!
Carolina: (decidedly) This is insane.
Sarge: It's diabolical!
Grif: It's really dumb...
(Grif Looks at Simmons)
Grif: So I buy it.
Dylan: It makes a weird sort of sense. According to the head of research at JPL, Locco's machine is a tunneling device.
Sarge: Red team! Blue team! We have the enemy's position. Let's pack up, and prepare to move on out!
Carolina: We should make a few calls before we go.
Grif: Well, I hate to point out there's one other thing we're forgetting.
Cut to Tucker standing by the Blue's and Red's campfire. Grif approaches.
Tucker: Leave me alone, Caboose-oh...it's you. What do you want, Grif?
Grif: We know where they are, Tucker. We're going after 'em.
Tucker:...Is that really a good idea? Given our track record, I just...I can't imagine us doing anything but making this all worse.
Grif: What's gotten into you, man?
Tucker: I'm a fuckup is what! Just when I thought I was getting good at this hero stuff, I crashed, and fucking burned. I trusted Temple! I let down Wash, and I lost my sword! My fucking sword! I'm a...what's the word? (Pauses) "Liability". You ask me, we're better letting the authorities deal with Temple.
Grif: That'll go well. "Uh, hey, 911? It's the Reds and Blues? Our evil dopplegangers are going to shoot a laser through the Earth from some tiny islands in the Indian Ocean. Okay thanks. Bye!"
Tucker:(Hesitates) Fuck. Dude, I don't know if I can do this.
Grif: Well, with Carolina on the DL, we kind of need you, man. I mean, if the Blues and Reds challenged us to a hotdog eating contest, I can take 'em. But I got a feeling that it won't be that easy...or delicious.
Tucker: I'm not a freelancer, Grif.
Grif: I know! But, shit, dude! You're the best we've got! (Under his breath) Man, this feels weird....I don't know if I'm really cut out to give pep talks, Tucker. Can you just, uhhh, I don't know. Throw me a bone and come along, already?
Tucker: (Sighs) Tell me how special I am, Grif.
Tucker: Please Grif, I need to hear it from you.
Grif: Fuck off, dude. (Irritated) Never mind.
Tucker: I'm not going anywhere, until you tell me I'm the best again.
Grif: (hesitates) Tucker, you're the best at, not using birth control!
Tucker: You know, your sister thought I was the best too.
Grif: (Mutters under his breath as he walks away) I should have stayed alone on the fucking planet. Volleyball Tucker knew when to keep his mouth shut.
Tucker: (having heard the muttering) Uhhh, what?
Cut to Tucker giving the group a pep talk in the canyon.
Tucker: Listen up, everyone! The Blues and Reds are trenched in. They've got numbers, and they've got guns on their sides. They've been planning this operation for years. They have a headstart, and they have a doomsday device. They also don't stand a fucking chance. I ain't much on speeches, so I'll make this short. We do this for Wash, we do this for Church, and we do this because, fuck those assholes. Buckle up, guys. We're going home.
Caboose: We're going to Blood Gulch?
Cut to a view of the Earth at night.
Tucker: Earth, motherfuckers.
Grif: Now that's a pep talk.
Scene cuts to black.
- Loco's machine is revealed to be a laser drill machine.
- When the Zealots see Caboose they call him the Beast, followed by Caboose immediately pummeling them to death, all a reference to Visiting Old Friends, where Caboose does the exact same thing.
- In the Halo series, the UNSC's headquarters is located in Sydney, Australia. However, in the RvB universe, the UNSC HQ is located in Wyoming, United States.
- It is revealed Sarge has a tattoo that reads "Death from Below", which is also an achievement gained in many military based games like Call of Duty: Black Ops II, Payday 2, and The Respawnables.
- It is also the name of an assignment in the game Battlefield 4.
- It could also be a joke regarding Sarge's time with the ODSTs. In the Halo universe "Death from Above" is a common motif among the ODSTs, sometimes in the form of tattoos.
- It is also the name of an assignment in the game Battlefield 4.
- Carolina's quote about the world's best swordsman is directly quoted from David Weber's novel "The Honor of the Queen", who also based this quote from the American author Mark Twain.
- After ten seasons, the Reds and Blues are reunited with V.I.C.
- Upon viewing Earth's Western Hemisphere, Florida is missing from the United States, a reference to its destruction by Project Freelancer in Don't Say It, covering up for the disappearance of their agent of the same name.