|Red vs. Blue Episode|
|Airdate||March 4, 2015|
Red vs. Blue has an "exciting" announcement about the "brand new" and "innovative" way we are delivering the show to the audience.
Fade into Church and Grif standing next to each other in Valhalla.
Church: Hi, I'm Private Church from the popular web-series Red vs. Blue.
Grif: And I'm Captain Dexter Grif from the same show.
Church: And we're here today to share the next step, in the future of delivering Red vs. Blue to you; the audience.
Grif: Some would call this one small step for mankind. But those people are just really easily impressed.
Church: And this next step is, Red vs Blue is getting its very own YouTube channel!
Grif: This exciting step in- wait, the announcement is that we're on YouTube?
Church: That's right! All seasons of Red vs Blue will now be available on YouTube! Can you believe it?
Grif: That announcement sucks!
Church: (whispers) Just read the card dickhead!
Grif: But we're already on YouTube!
Church: Grif, I don't think you understand. We're getting our own channel. Nobody gets those!
Grif: Uh it sounds to me like we're getting kicked out of our old comfy, cozy, warm channel, and into the cold harsh streets of the internet!
Church: Grif, shut up.
Grif: No no it's fine. I guess I'll just uh go get myself fitted for fingerless gloves and maybe find myself the nearest soup kitchen.
Grif begins to walk away. He then stops and looks at Church.
Grif: The nearest soup kitchens.
Grif then continues walking away.
Church: Oh what you don't like that idea?! How about this idea; how about you go fuck yourself! How does that sound?! I'm just spitballin here so let me know! Pffff the hell he's talking about. It's a great idea. Everybody says its a great idea, especially me. It's my idea, this shit is awesome.
Simmons approaches Church.
Simmons: What's awesome?
Church: Oh, we're launching a new YouTube channel for Red vs. Blue.
Church: Okay-Alright. Don't start it on me too.
Simmons: That's awesome!
Church:... (mutters) What you really think it's brilliant?
Simmons: Of course! Now I can find all of our content in one place! Oh oh oh, which versions are going up for the first five seasons? Please tell me it's the remastered?
Church: Well alright! Well hell yeah! Finally some enthusiasm! And you know what the first five seasons are going to be available in full HD, for the first time ever on YouTube!
Simmons: Wooo alright! Yeah remastered!
Church: Wow, Simmons I had-
Simmons: Full HDDDD!
Church: -No idea that that you were such a fan of the show.
Simmons: What? I don't like the show. I just like to watch all of my parts.
Simmons: So I was thinking we should add a Simmons playlist. Uh you can call it "All Simmons, All the time". Oh, or a ten-hour loop of me, just being me.
Cut to Church standing next to a device.
Church: Welp, yeah I think it's time to lock you out of the channel. Wait a second, I can't change anything. Who the hell is running this channel?!
Caboose appears in the backround.
Caboose: ACCESS DENIIIED!
Church: Well, whatever the reason is, now everyone can watch every episode of Red vs Blue in its new home. You can click here to subscribe (a Red vs. Blue logo appears next to him) to the new channel, that way you'll always be caught up.
Simmons: And you can click here to view All Simmons all the time. (Nothing happens) Excuse me, I said click here. (Still nothing happens) Oh come on I'm great click bait. ("Bitch-->" appears next to Simmons) Hey! What the hell!
Cut to Grif and Caboose inside Red base, standing in front of a computer with a bowl of soup beside it.
Grif: Nice going buddy.
Caboose: Remember I want all the soup.
Grif: Oh you got it.