Blue vs Blue

Blue vs Blue
General Information
Season	15
Episode	20
Running time	13:51
Production
Aired	August 13, 2017 (FIRST members) August 20, 2017 (public)

Blue vs Blue is the twentieth episode of Red vs. Blue: Season 15. It aired on August 13, 2017, for FIRST members and August 20, 2017, for the general public. It is the 328th episode overall.

Characters

Reds and Blues

• Sarge
• Grif
• Simmons
• Donut
• Tucker
• Caboose
• Carolina
• Doc
• Church
• Freckles (Mentioned only)

Blues and Reds

• Temple
• Surge
• Loco
• Gene
• Buckey
• Numerous Simulation Troopers

Interstellar Daily

• Dylan Andrews
• Jax Jonez

Chorus

• Kimball (Mentioned only)

Plot

Loco informs Temple that the machine has begun operating, much to Temple's elation before Surge arrives to inform him that the Reds and Blues have infiltrated the base. Temple orders Surge to take care of them while the machine continues its operation, while Loco leaves to go grab something.

The Reds and Blues, meanwhile, decide to split up to have a better chance of finding the machine. Dylan and Jax stay behind with Donut, while Carolina leaves with the Blues. To Dylan's confusion, the Reds and Blues then start making up cheesy monologues of encouragement, asking Carolina if they do this often. According to the Freelancer, their longest record is two hours.

The group then separates and invades. The Reds soon encounter Surge, who Sarge decides to deal with on his own in spite of Simmons and Grif's protests. The two Red soldiers have a clash of ideals, with Surge calling Sarge out for disobeying orders while Sarge declares that there is more to life than following orders and tries to make Surge come to reason. Surge, however, fires a shot but misses, allowing Sarge to shoot him, nearly knocking Surge into the incinerator behind him. Sarge grabs him to prevent him from falling but accidentally let's go while giving a monologue.

Meanwhile, while traversing a hallway, Caboose becomes distracted by change on the ground, unaware of the enemy troops coming up behind him. Carolina saves him and knocks out the two soldiers, only to fall to the ground afterward, causing Tucker to worry about her condition. Sometime after, they come across Doc, who tries to appeal to them. Tucker is visibly still angry that the man betrayed them but reluctantly accepts his help when Carolina falls ill.

As Simmons and Grif search for cover as they come under fire, Gene attacks Simmons. Grif tries to shoot him, only to find that Gene has changed his visor to gold, making it hard to tell who is who. In order to find the real Simmons, Grif asks "why are we here," with Simmons quoting him when he first asked that question in Blood Gulch, allowing Grif to shoot Gene. The two then leave him when he tries to appeal to them.

As Tucker deals with Buckey, the latter runs out of ammo and tries to use the sword but fails to activate it, unaware of its conditions. Tucker knocks out Buckey, reclaims his sword, and regroups with the others to deal with Temple. Dylan informs Temple that the machine will destroy the planet, along with the rest of the UNSC, though Temple is skeptical of their claims, believing that they just want recognition and medals, and locks up their armors (save for Dylan, Jax, and Caboose). He warns Caboose to stay where he is, or he'll kill him.

Grif attempts a rescue by swinging down a cable but hits the ground. Temple then holds him at gunpoint but hesitates to pull the trigger. Dylan uses this to her advantage, asking if he's afraid of blood. This allows Grif to attack a distracted Temple and for Dylan to steal Temple's remote, proceeding to unlock the Reds and Blues. Loco then arrives, claiming he has something for Caboose. Temple tries to shoot Caboose but ends up hitting Loco instead, allowing Tucker to knock him out.

As Loco dies, he gives batteries to Caboose for Freckles. Caboose asks if he will be okay but Dylan informs him that he won't make it. She asks Loco how to turn the machine off, in which Loco explains that it is impossible. He then tells Caboose that he finally opened the door and that best friends should have the opportunity to say goodbye.

The machine then pulsates, engulfing the Reds and Blues in a bright light. When the light fades, a portal appears behind Caboose, with Church, standing in Blood Gulch, questioning why he isn't guarding the flag.

Transcript

Open to Loco looking at a screen.

Loco: Working! It's working! It's alive! (Forced evil laughter)

Temple: For real?

Loco: Yes, the resonance cascade is going! the drill is drilling! And the door, the door will be opening too! Hooray!

Temple: Loco, you magnificent bastard! I love you right now!

Surge enters

Surge: Let's not pop the champagne just yet. The Reds and Blues are inside the facility. They have breached the outer defenses!

Temple: FUCK! Oh, well, whatever. Surge, hold them off. You just need to buy us time.

Surge: But I don't have the re-

Temple: But nothing, Grunt! A soldier follows orders, no matter what. You taught me that. So, make good on that, and buy us some motherfucking time.

Surge: Sir, yes, sir! (Leaves)

Loco: Ooh! They're here! Oh boy! I-I have to get something from the ship.

Temple: Woah, like hell! You need to stay here and watch these controls!

Loco: It runs itself! Plus, I'll be real quick!

Temple: Fine. But listen, Loco. The Reds and Blues are our mortal enemies. If you see them, you have to kill them. Got it?

Loco: OK. (Runs out)

Temple: And make it quick.

Cut the Blood Gulch Crew, Carolina, Jax and Dylan standing in an area of the base

Tucker: Listen up, mission's simple. Find that crazy machine and shut it the fuck down.

Simmons: Uh, which way?

Tucker: No choice, we've got to split up. Reds, head thataways. The Blues and me and Carolina will take the other door.

Dylan: That was a hell of a hike up here, Carolina. Are you sure you don't need a minute?

Carolina: Yes, I'm sure. If I take it easy, I'll be fine. You, on the other hand?

Dylan: Jax and I will stay here where it's safe for us. It's better that way.

Tucker: Let the record state that we all know you're lying.

Dylan: Duly noted.

Tucker: Take Donut for protection at least.

Donut: I knew I wore my latex armor for a reason!

Grif: Why does Dylan get both the human shields?

Sarge: Reds! On me! As far as days to die go, it's a little overcast. So, let's check our corners and make these bastards pay!

Tucker: Blues! Let's light the fires and kick the tires!

Sarge: Reds! Let's dance with these monkeys and give 'em what for!

Tucker: Blues! Let's put the pedal to the metal and the rubber to the road!

Sarge: Reds! Let's get jiggy with it!

Dylan: Does this sort of thing happen often?

Carolina: I think the record is two hours.

Sarge: Reds! Let's shoot this monkey full of heroin and put it on YouTube! Actually, let's not do that, it sounds completely horrible.

Cut to a trio of zealots. Two of whom are shot down

Sarge: Sneak attack! (Shoots the remaining blue zealot) Oo-rah! Ha ha!

Two zealots fire at Sarge, Grif and Simmons, but they both get shot

Sarge: Reds! Let's teach these midgets how to tango!

Cut to Tucker, Caboose and Carolina walking down a hallway, unaware of a pair of blue zealots coming up behind them

Caboose: Oh, look! A penny. (Crouches down)

Carolina turns and knocks the two zealots down with melee before collapsing

Tucker: Taking it easy, huh?

Carolina: Shut up! ...and help me up, please.

Cut to the Reds walking up a staircase and confronting Surge

Sarge and Surge: (At the same time) Well, well. Look what the cat dragged in.

Grif: I can't believe I have to hear this shit in stereo now.

Simmons: Hey, um, Tucker already made that joke.

Grif: God damn it!

Sarge: Grif, Simmons, get on out of here.

Simmons: Uh, Sarge, if you'll allow me, I think that's stupid. We've got him outnumbered three to one. Let's just shoot him and move on.

Grif: It would be so easy.

Simmons: Just put a cap in his ass, and stroll.

Sarge: No! I must face my demons, mano a mano. Now go.

Grif: Hey, come on. We don't have time for this. (Leaves)

Simmons: Uh, try hard to win, sir. (Follows Grif)

Sarge: Well. Here we are.

Surge: Two men enter, one man leaves. Dun dun!

Sarge: Dun dun dun dun!

Surge: Dun dun dun dun!

Sarge: Dun dun dun dun dun dun!

Surge: Dun dun!

Sarge: Dun dun dun!

Surge: Dun dun! Dun!

Sarge: Surge, it doesn't have to be this way. We can walk on out of here together.

Surge: Unlike you, I would never betray my duty.

Sarge: My god, Man! Open your eyes! You enlisted in the army to help save the world, and here you are about to destroy it!

Surge: Am not!

Sarge: Are too!

Surge: Well, you're the one who betrayed orders! At least when I die, I'll die with honor.

Sarge: Honor, schmonor.

Surge: Audible gasp!

Sarge: There's more to life than blindly following orders like some automaton.

Surge: What, like friendship?

Sarge: Like knowing right from wrong, and good from evil, and Red from Blue. That's what makes us. Without it, we ain't even soldiers. We're villains! Terroristas. Vampires...

Surge: I AIN'T NO VAMPIRE!

Surge fires his rail gun at Sarge, who ducks and shoots him with his shotgun. Surge staggers backwards towards the incinerator he's standing in front of, but Sarge grabs his chestplate before he falls in

Surge: Let me go. It's better I die in battle.

Sarge: No. That would be wrong, Surge, and a true soldier always knows the difference. That's what real honor, real patriotism, real duty, is all about- (Salutes, accidentally letting go of Surge, causing him to fall into the incinerator)

Surge: (Screams)

Sarge: Oh, whoops.

Cut to Tucker, Caboose and Carolina walking up to a door and opening it, revealing Doc

Doc: Oh, friends! Thank my stars!

Tucker: You?!

Doc: We have to hurry! The Blues and Reds are up to some serious, really bad, not good at all mischief, and we've got to stop them!

Tucker: You've got some real nerve, Doc.

Doc: What? Guys, I found out about their plans and tried to talk them out of it. It didn't go... great, and then they locked me up, I swear!

Tucker: Bull-fucking-shit!

Doc: Scout's honor! Except I was never a scout because I'm afraid of badges. But I'm telling you, the Blues and Reds have broken bad, guys. I'm really worried about them.

Tucker: Do you believe a word this asshole is saying, Carolina? (Beat) Carolina? (Sees Carolina collapsing) Oh, shit!

Tucker and Doc walk up to her

Doc: Oh, jeez! What did Temple do to you? They told me you and Wash were at the spa!

Tucker: Who would believe that?

Carolina: Tucker, you thought we were out getting food.

Tucker: I-- Okay, hearing that back now, it does sound kinda stupid.

Doc: You need medical attention, Carolina. The fact that you made it this far without collapsing is... not really human.

Tucker: What do you think you're doing?

Doc: Tucker, I am the only person within a thousand miles with any medical knowledge whatsoever. Now, it's not much, and I'd honestly feel much more comfortable if there was someone besides me who knew what they were doing... and it's been a while since I've actually practiced, and come to think of it, this is not really a medical device, it's actually an alien pistol--

Carolina: Okay, please stop talking. Tucker, it's fine. You go after Temple, I'll catch up when I can.

Tucker: [Sighs] ...Damn it!

Carolina: And Tucker- don't kill him unless you have to.

Tucker: No promises.

Tucker and Caboose walk off. Elsewhere, Simmons and Grif flee from oncoming fire.

Grif: Agh! They're coming up behind us!

Simmons: I'll find cover.

Simmons runs outside onto a balcony and is tackled by Gene. The two scuffle until one of them holds the other at knifepoint, with the other struggling to fight back. Grif holds both at gunpoint, confused.

Grif: Agh! Simmons!

Gene: Just shoot him, Grif! Hurry!

Simmons: No, Grif, shoot him, he's Gene!

Gene: Grif, don't listen to him, I'm the real Simmons.

Simmons: He's lying, Grif, shoot him!

Grif: Agh, shit!

Gene: I can't hold it, Grif, shoot him!

Grif: Why are we here?

Simmons and Gene in unison: What?

Grif: I said, 'Why are we here?' Answer me, now!

Gene: Because we need to stop these evil fucks, that's why!

Simmons: No. We don't know why we're here. It's still... one of life's great mysteries, isn't it?

Grif shoots Gene, causing him to fall of the edge of the balcony. He holds on to the edge.

Gene: Ow! Aghhh!

Simmons: Thanks, Grif.

Grif: No problem, dude.

Gene: Help! I'm sorry I tried to kill you, it wasn't personal! Uuugh, help me up, Simmons! Help me up! We can work on inventory spreadsheets together! We'd quote Star Wars and solve quadratic equations!

Grif: What are you thinking?

Simmons: I mean, he is all the way over there... Ehh, maybe we can come back for him later.

Gene: What?! What are you talking about?

Simmons: I guess I'm just feeling kind of... lazy.

Grif: Nice.

Gene: Agh, fuck you, asshole! Fuck you, Simmons! I lied about Star Wars- I actually prefer the prequels! Hahaha! I'm gonna Darth Maul this and come back in a shitty video game!

Grif: Christ, he's annoying.

Simmons: Oh my God, right? It's not just me?

The two walk off, leaving Gene. Tucker and Caboose battle Buckey in a hallway.

Buckey: Aghh! Suck it, you stupid bastards! When I kill you, I'm gonna defile your corpses. Boom Chicka Wah Wah- [Gun clicks empty] Fuck.

Buckey attempts to use Tucker's sword.

Buckey: Come on. Come on! Fuck... Fuck!

Tucker: What's the matter, Buckey? Can't get it up?

Tucker proceeds to knock Buckey unconscious in one hit, before taking the sword back and reactivating it.

Tucker: Oh, so tight.

Cut to Temple in the middle of the room with the time machine, with Tucker and Caboose confronting him.

Tucker: Game over, Temple.

Temple: Hardly, more like game on- and just in time for the fireworks, no less.

Tucker: Turn that thing the fuck off!

Temple: Impossible, plus, aren't you curious about what happens next? According to Loco, we're almost to the awesome part. I, for one, am quite curious about this "door" he keeps going on about.

Tucker: What happens next is you're going to destroy the fucking planet if you don't turn off that machine!

Temple: No need to be dramatic--

Dylan, Jax, and Donut enter the room.

Dylan: It's true. Loco's machine is a doomsday device. You'll destroy the UNSC, but you'll wipe out the entire planet in the process.

Temple: Bullshit, you all just want to help the UNSC in exchange for more medals or favors. Well, fuck you. And anyway, it's too late; no off switch, you see? You can't stop it and neither can I.

Sarge walks in and aims his shotgun at Temple.

Sarge: Hands up, dirtbag.

Temple holds his hands in the air, with the armor lock remote in his right.

Temple: Sir, yes, sir! It's toasty in here, isn't it? Why don't we all just fucking chill... Beep!

Tucker's, Sarge's, and Donut's armor are all locked up.

Tucker: God damn it... I can't move...!

Sarge: Son of a... I'm stiff as a statue...!

Donut: I'm stiff too. And my armor is locked...!

Caboose: What's wrong with them?

Temple: Oh, that's right. You're a special case, aren't you, Caboose? Courtesy of that old helmet of yours. How about this- you don't fucking move, and I don't fucking pop your friends like pimples with this remote?

Tucker: He's bluffing...!

Temple: Try me. OK, Shelly, play 'Monologue Mix.'

Temple: You know, you all remind me of my favorite Churchill quote- "Yours is a story, told by an idiot, full of sound and fury signifying... nothing." Apropos, no?

Sarge: Meh, My monologues were better...

Temple: Rome wasn't burned in a day, but the UNSC will be...! You attacked them, on behalf of Kimball, and independence, and the DNA that you left at our base will be the icing on your destruction. You'll be stuck between a rock and the frying pan.

Jax: Ah, my ears...! You are terrible with metaphors.

Dylan: Temple, you have to stop this! We're not lying about the planet!

Temple: I didn't start the fire, it was always burning since the world's been turning. They made their cake, now they can lie in it!

Tucker: What about the dozens you killed? Your own men? The pilots at Desert Gulch, who answers for them?

Temple: Oh, if I said that I would weep for them, would it make you feel any better?

Grif: No, but kicking your ass might! Get away from my pals! You dipshit! Hyaaaahahah!

Grif attempts to swing from a cable to ram into Temple, only to fail.

Temple: (laughs hysterically) That was amazing! Do it again, do it again! So much for heroism... Join your friends in the circle or die here.

Grif stands up.

Grif: I'm, not going anywhere.

Temple: Have it your way.

Grif refuses to move, a moment of silence passes, while Temple is hesitating to pull the trigger.

Dylan: What's the matter, Temple...? Afraid of blood...?

Temple: Shut up!

(Grif pushes Temple, knocking his Armor Lock remote out of his hands and lands near Dylan, which she then uses to shut off the Armor Lock from the Reds and Blues)

Sarge: Ha ha, alright!

Tucker: Game on, bitches! (activates his Great Key)

The machine starts accelerating its process, whilst Loco is seen moving toward Caboose.

Loco: Hey! Caboose! I have something for you, Caboose!

Temple: Oh, fuck!

Tucker tries to swipe at Temple, only for the latter to jump back, aims at Tucker and fire, but Tucker manages to dodge the shot and instead hits Loco.

Loco: Ugh...!

Temple: Argh, that idiot!

Tucker disarms Temple with his sword by hitting the pistol from his hands with the blades and follows with a kick, knocking down Temple, and the machine is nearly fully charged.

Caboose: Loco!

Loco: Your batteries - I brought you some... Caboose.... You can- You can fix Freckles now...

Loco drops the AA Batteries from his right hand onto the floor whilst lying on the ground.

Caboose: Oh, oh thank you. Is he... is he gonna die?

Dylan: I think so. Loco, the machine... How do we turn it off?

Loco: You can't... Impossible.. But, Caboose... I did make the door... because friends, best friends, should be able... able to say goodbye...

Dylan: What does he mean?

Loco: Bye bye... Say it...

Caboose: Bye...

The machine fully charges up, and opens its "door" into the past, revealing Season 1 Church.

Church: Caboose? Rookie, what the hell are you doing up here? You're supposed to be guarding the flag!

Gallery

Trivia

• The title of this episode is a reference to one of the song lyrics from Blood Gulch Blues, going as follows: "It's Red versus Red, and Blue versus Blue, it's I against I and me against you."
• The tune that Sarge scats out near the beginning of the episode is a reference to the Will Smith song Gettin' Jiggy Wit It.
• When Simmons goes to look for cover, he is wielding an Battle Rifle, but when Gene ambushes him, he drops an Assault Rifle from his hands, and after Grif shoots Gene, Simmons switches back to the Battle Rifle.
• Gene mentions enjoying the Star Wars prequel trilogy over the original trilogy, a reference to the amount of negative reception the prequel trilogy received from fans of the original trilogy.
• Doc reveals he has a fear of badges and that his medical scanner is actually an alien pistol.
  • This calls into question if the other Doc's and Medic's, like Dr. Grey, know that they are actually using an alien pistol and that it does not do any sort of healing.
• This episode also marks the return of the Alpha version of Church in the current timeline since his death, albeit a past version of himself. He is represented using the Halo: Combat Evolved engine on Blood Gulch.
• The "Why are we here?" gag returns in this episode, with Grif using it as a lie detector between Gene and Simmons.
• Temple incorrectly quoting Winston Churchill could be a throwback to when Donald Doyle incorrectly quoted William Shakespeare in The Thin Fed Line. The former's quote actually is a Shakespeare quote, from the play "Macbeth".
• Temple inadvertently killing Loco is a reference to how Caboose keeps unintentionally killing Church.
• Doc's line about the Blues and Reds having "broken bad" may be a possible reference to the TV series Breaking Bad.
• Caboose not being affected by armor lock is a reference to his helmet not having the function, as explained by F.I.L.S.S. in Restraining Orders.
• Grif having to choose between shooting Gene or Simmons is a reference to This One Goes to Eleven, where Simmons has to choose between shooting Tex or Tucker.
• Grif saying "I can't believe I have to hear this shit in stereo now" is a reference to a similar comment made by Wyoming in Party Crasher.

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