|Red vs. Blue Episode|
|Airdate||June 7, 2010|
At the desert, Washington and the Meta attack Doc to shatter the wall behind him. Doc is now free and assists by asking the Aliens to draw them a map to where Epsilon went. But instead, they draw a human stick figure with the captions "HUMENS SUK" and "SHISNO". Wash then gets irritated and attacks the aliens with the Meta.
Meanwhile, Sarge, Simmons, and Grif have entered the facility after Grif failed because he called himself "Agent Pluto," but Sarge used his shotgun on the F.I.L.S.S. interface and then he threatens Grif. The Reds now find Caboose guarding a door and asking F.I.L.S.S. to keep the door shut while someone is smashing it and Epsilon is talking. After Caboose tries to not let the Reds through, the door gets pounded and he walks away. As the Reds are standing there the door gets trashed and blasted open by Tex, who then flexes her neck and says "Okay, so who's first?"
Fade in to Wash and the Meta in the desert, getting ready.
Washington: Alright Meta, get ready. Fire!!
Wash tosses a grenade, and the Meta fires his brute shot.
Washington: Huh, well that actually seemed to work.
Cut to Doc, who has been freed from the cement slab with pieces of debris around him.
Washington: (walking up to Doc with the Meta behind him) Doc, how do you feel?
Doc: Uh okay I guess, all things considered- hey does anybody know where we can find a good medic?
Washington: I don't get paid enough for this.
Washington walks off as the Meta watches. The Meta takes a glance at Doc before also walking away with a growl.
Doc: Geeze, tough room.
Cut to the Reds just inside the facility
Grif: I told you that stupid plan wouldn't work.
Simmons: That's because you said your name was Agent Pluto!
Sarge: Heh, luckily we had the old contingency plan to fall back on.
Grif: Sarge, shotgun in the face is not a contingency plan. I keep telling you that.
Cut to FILSS' damaged monitor outside the base on the tree
FILSS: Hhhhhhllo, this is a private facility. Hello, this is a private facility.
Cut back to the Reds
Sarge: Don't be so quick to judge, Grif. Shotgun in the face can be applied in a variety of tough situations. For instance, (aims shotgun at Grif) watch how quickly it cures insubordination.
Caboose: (off screen) Oh no!
A loud crash, like shattering glass can be heard.
Simmons: What was that?
Sarge: It came from down here. Come on.
Sarge eagerly heads down the hall with Grif and Simmons behind him. Cut to one of the aliens drawing something in the sand. Washington, Doc, and Meta walk up behind them to observe.
Washington: I don't like this.
Doc: Look, I talked to them. They're gonna draw us a map and show us where Epsilon went. After that you can let me go.
Washington: You sure that's what he's doing?
Doc: Well, my Alien to English is a little rusty. I would suggest we get one of those translator balls, but we got enough jerks around here already.
Washington: I agree. We should just kill most of them, the last one left alive will talk.
Doc: Wash, you just can't kill everybody you meet.
Washington: Why not?
Doc: Uh... well now you're putting me on the spot, I don't really have an answer for that, just seems like a bad idea though. Karma?
Alien: (stops drawing) Rarh. Blarggh.
Doc: Hey, he's done drawing the map.
Alien: Rr-rarrar, hunrarrar unhunrarrarrar.
Washington walks up to see what the alien has drawn. The alien had written 'HUMENS SUK' in the sand with the word 'SHISNO' and an arrow pointed at a stick figure with X's over its eyes.
Doc: What does it say? What does it say?
Washington: It says peace talks have broken down. Now we do it our way.
The Meta growls before opening fire with his brute shot.
Cut back to Caboose outside the door while Church is messing around inside
Church: (of screen) Just hold still. No, no, don't-
A cash can be heard coming from behind the door.
FILSS: I sense things are not going well.
Caboose: Yes please just keep the door shut, thank you that's fine.
FILSS: I am sorry, but if the Director requests the door to be opened, I am required to comply.
The Reds walk up to Caboose.
Caboose: Just keep the door shut.
Grif: Caboose, is that you?
Church: (of screen) Stop! Don't move, don't move, don't-
There is another crash from behind the door followed by Church's annoyed groan.
Caboose: Oh! Oh hello everyone!
Church: (off screen) Stop!
Caboose: Yes. Everyone who wasn't here before is now here now. Hello.
There is another crash.
Sarge: What're you up to, Blue.
Another crash can be heard as Caboose tries to explain.
Caboose: Me? Oh nothing. I'm not hiding anything behind this door.
Church: (hurriedly, off screen) Uh, I wouldn't pick that up it looks expensive-
The sound of shattering glass is once again heard.
Simmons: Uhh, I think he's lying.
Grif: What was your first clue?
Sarge: Let us see what's in there.
Caboose: In here? Oh. Nothing is in here. Um, well this probably isn't even a door, either. It's, probably-
The door shakes with a bang.
Sarge: What the heck was that?
Caboose: Oh that was me. Uh, I said this isn't a door, I said it's a gong.
Grif: A gong, what the hell is a-
Another bang dents the door outwards.
Caboose: Yeah, a gong.
The door is hit again with part of the lock being shoved forward.
Caboose: I'm just going to walk over this way, now. (slowly walks away from the door and down the hall as whatever is on the other side continues to smash it apart) Excuse me. Yes, thank you. Pardon me, coming through.
Caboose: Yes excuse me, yes pardon me. Excuse me, yes thank you. Pardon me, coming through. Yes excuse me, yes pardon me.
The Reds look at the door as it continues to get beaten apart.
Grif: Um, Sarge, what's the plan here?
Sarge: Men, we have a perfect ambush scenario.
Simmons: I agree. Unless wait, are we the ambushers or, the ambushees? Hey, can you ambush something that's trying to beat its way through metal plating to get to you?
Sarge: Okay, first, we just wait for the door to open-
The light in the ceiling comes loose as the door is even more violently pounded and deformed. The lights in the hallway shatter, leaving only the light inside the room. Smoke begins seeping around the twisted piece of metal that used to be the door. There is a brief pause, as if whatever is on the other side gave up, before the door is blasted off its hinges and sent flying down the hall. The Reds stand up and glance at the piece of metal, that used to be the door, that had flown over their heads.
Grif: Door's open.
Sarge: What the- hh?
They all look to see who or what had smashed the metal door apart to get to them. They see a black figure stand up, step forward out of the smoke, and slam its fist into its hand.
Tex: Okay. ("cracks" neck) So who's first?
- One of the Aliens draw a rough sketch of a human, along with the words "HUMENS SUK" with the word "SHISNO" next to the drawing of the human. This is a reference to the word Shisno, first mentioned by Gary in the third season of the Blood Gulch Chronicles.
- When Doc says not to get one of the translator balls, he is referring to Andy, who was used as a translator for the Alien in Season 4.