|Red vs. Blue Episode|
|Airdate||June 6, 2003|
After Church is the ninth episode of the series.
Grif and Simmons make it back to Red Base after the tank stops firing at them. Donut, with the Blue Team's flag close by, is clueless as to what has been happening and asked where their warthog was. Just then, their vehicle lands in-between them after an explosion from the tank causes it to flip-over on top of their base structure, prompting them to take cover.
Not too far away, the Rookie and Sheila continue to blast away at the warthog while Tucker watches them from the side. Tucker asks why he keeps shooting the jeep but is quickly told by the Rookie that if he were to unlock its target acquisition of the vehicle, he might kill someone else on his team, much like how he killed Church in the previous episode.
The Reds, in cover and under bombardment from the tank, suddenly receive a radio call from Sarge, who is returning to Blood Gulch from Command. Learning of the situation at hand, he flies in with air support, bombing Sheila (and subsequently the tank itself) out of action while the Rookie narrowly escapes his own death as he struggled to get out. The Rookie, referred to as Caboose for the first time by Tucker, expresses his despair over the loss of Sheila, in which Tucker initially thought was an actual woman.
Simmons and Grif run up the ramp onto the Red Base where Donut is waiting with the flag.
Donut: What happened?
Grif: (panting heavily) Big... Tank... Shooting... Whooooh!
Simmons: Damn, man, we only ran like three hundred feet. You are really out of shape.
Grif: (still panting) Fuck... You...
Donut: Where's your car?
Simmons: General Patton here had a great strategy to leave it behind.
Grif: Hey, it would have worked if that tank hadn't shown up.
Donut: You lost the jeep? Oh man, Lopez is gonna be pissed. Where is it?
The Warthog suddenly flips up on the base from below by an explosion, landing between Donut and the other two. The camera cuts to a different angle to reveal Sheila in the background.
Grif: What the hell..!?
Grif: SON OF A BITCH!
Donut: Oh crap! (picks up the flag) What the hell is that thing?
Grif: (crouching next to the Warthog) That's the tank!
Donut: Hey uh, Grif, uh, you wanna hold the flag for a little bit?
Grif: No, keep that away from me!
Cut to Caboose in Sheila with Tucker beside them. Sheila fires.
Tucker: Why do you keep firing at the jeep?
Caboose: Because it's locked on!
Sheila: Target locked.
Tucker: Well, unlock it.
Caboose: Last time I unlocked it, I KILLED CHURCH!
Tucker: Oh, right... keep shooting the jeep then.
Cut to Donut.
Donut: I hate to be the one to point this out guys, but I think we're screwed.
Simmons: Yeah. I have to agree with the rookie on this one.
Sarge: (on radio, from a Pelican dropship) Blood Gulch Outpost Number One. Come in, Blood Gulch Outpost, come in. Do you read me? This is Sergeant-
Grif: Oh my god, Sarge, is that you?
Sarge: Roger that, Private. I am currently in-bound to your position from Command.
Simmons: Sir, (Sheila fires in the background) this is Simmons.
Sarge: Hello, Simmons. I hope everything's gone alright while I've been gone.
Grif: Actually, sir, things are kind of hectic right now. The new rookie arrived, and somehow he managed to (Sheila fires in the background) infiltrate the Blue Base, and now we have their flag, the Warthog is damaged, one of their (Sheila fires in the background) guys is dead, and there's this huge fucking tank about to destroy our base.
Sarge: (radio sounds) ... (more radio sounds) ...Am I talkin' to the right base?
Grif: Sarge, (Sheila fires in the background) WE. ARE GOING. TO DIE HERE!
Sarge: Well then hold tight, boys. I think I gotta solution to your little "tank" problem.
Cut to Tucker.
Tucker: Uh oh.
Pelican flies over Red Base. Cut back to Tucker.
Tucker: Hey, Caboose, (starts backing up) you might wanna get out of the tank. Like right now.
Caboose: I can't figure out how to get this thing open!
Sheila: Night vision engaged.
Tucker: Rookie, get out now!
Shells exploding progressively nearer to the tank.
Caboose: Okay, open the do—Okay, I, Sheila, will you please open the door?
Sheila: Driver canopy open. (Caboose gets out and runs away) Thank you for using the M808V Main Battle-
Shell hits Sheila and the explosion turns her upside down.
Caboose: Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap, oh crap! Running, running, running! (reaches Tucker, panting) Man, that was close.
Tucker: Look at your tank though.
Cut to Sheila.
Sheila: I'm scared, Dave. Will I dream? Daisy... (distorted, elongated) Daisy...
Cut to Caboose and Tucker.
Caboose: Sheeeeiilaaaaa! Noooooo!
Tucker: What? No! Sheila! Sheila! W-Wait... Who's Sheila?
Caboose: Sheila's the lady in the tank. She was my friend...
Tucker: Oh, dude! I knew you could pick up chicks in a tank!
- This is the first episode in which Caboose is referred to by name; previously, he had always been simply called the "rookie".
- Sheila's line "I'm scared Dave, will I dream?" and singing of "Daisy Daisy" is a reference to the novel and film 2001: A Space Odyssey.
- Sarge almost reveals his name, until he is interrupted by Grif.
- This is the first episode featuring the Ben McSweeney-designed Rooster Teeth logo.