Beta Complex

Beta Complex was a RvB "Public Service Announcement" regarding the Halo 3 Beta. It shows a satirical look at the new features in the Halo 3 Beta.

Transcript
(fade from black, hundreds of soldiers in assorted armour colours are queueing outside a base in Blood Gulch. The base has been decorated with a banner reading "Today: (Halo 3 logo) BETA!!! Tomorrow: All you can eat SHRIMP BUFFET!!!")

Soldiers: (chanting) Halo 3! Halo 3! Halo 3!

(cut to Simmons, standing on top of the base)

Simmons: Alright! Just calm down everyone. Calm down!

Sarge: Simmons! Get those people under control!

Simmons: They won't listen, Sarge. they just wanna play Halo 3.

(the soldiers continue chanting)

Simmons: See?

Sarge: Shut up, lunatics, or I'll lob a tear gas grenade in there and none of you will get to play!

(chanting stops)

Green Soldier: (excited voice) Tear gas grenades? We get tear gas grenades in Halo 3? I need to go update my blog!

Sarge: Wait! What? No! Come back! That's not official information! Simmons, quick! Run the orientation video...

Simmons: Yes, sir!

Sarge: ...Give them something to watch. We need to keep them pacified!

(title sequence)

(fade to Sarge and Church standing in the centre of Valhalla.)

Sarge: Why, hello! And welcome to the Halo 3 Multiplayer Beta! If you are in the Beta, that means you were specially selected, or you purchased a copy of Crackdown.

Church: And if you received this special RvB video, that means you pre-ordered a copy of BulletWitch 2! Congratulations...I guess.

Sarge: We want to remind everyone that just like in Halo 3, this video's a work in progress. So no grapping if there's any parts that don't make -

(static. Cut to Donut in Halo 1 armour, standing in the base. The banner next to him reads "DONUT World touR (love heart) '02!" in childish writing. Donut sings in a high-pitched voice)

(more static. Cut back to Valhalla, where Simmons runs into view.)

Simmons: Oh, sorry! I had to use an old tape to record this!

Sarge: Bug Report! In fact, if you see anything strange - I mean, anything else strange - just issue a bug report through the menu, or the game will take care of it for you!

(cut to Grif, standing next to an overturned Mongoose)

Grif: Sarge! the new Mongoose needs a jump-start!

Sarge: Bug Report!

(cut to Tucker, standing next to rock with a red stain on it)

Tucker: My gun is firing ketchup!

Sarge: Bug Report!

(cut to Caboose, who only has one arm. His other arm, still holding a gun, is on the ground next to him)

Caboose: My arm fell off.

Sarge: Report a la Bug. That's French for Bug Report.

(cut to Church, firing at Grif)

Church: I can't hit anything with this sniper rifle!

Sarge: That's not a bug, you're just a lousy shot, moron!

(Sarge knocks Church down, and shoots Grif. Grif collapses)

(cut to outside of base)

Sarge: And 1, and 2...

(it is revealed that Simmons is teabagging Grif's head, with Sarge and Donut watching)''

Sarge: ...and 3, and 4! Good, work those hammies!

Simmons: Feels good! Slightly improved!

Sarge: Grif, how would you rate the humiliation factor?

Grif: High.

Sarge: Excellent! Another vital test of mission critical technology!

Grif: Can we stop now?

Sarge: No! This is for science!

Donut: Yeah, and not everyone's had their turn yet! Heh heh heh!

(cut to the man-cannon in the base)

Sarge: Another important development from Bungie Labs is the Homo Sapiens Propulsifier. Also known as the man-cannon.

Simmons: It fires men?

Sarge: Yes. And also Grifs! Come here, Grif! (Grif walks forward) Let's say the Blues are launching a co-ordinated offensive...

(cut to Blue Team, standing in middle of map)

Church: Where the heck are we? I don't even know this map!

Tucker: Where are the weapons?

Caboose: Which base is ours?

(cut back to Sarge)

Sarge: What better way to slow them down than to choke up their movement lanes with dead soldiers! Or, if no soldiers are available, dead Grifs!

Grif: Wait, what? (Sarge knocks him down) Ow!

(Grif flies out of the man-cannon. He screams as he flies off-screen. A loud thud is heard)

Church: (offscreen) Ow!

(cut to Grif lying on top of Church)

Church: Get this guy off of me!

(cut back to Red Base)

Sarge: Simmons! Double humiliation test, on the double!

Simmons: I'm on it, sir!

Sarge: God, I love technology.

(Simmons flies out of man-cannon. fade to black)

Church: Seriously, get this guy off of me. This is the most humiliating thing I could possibly endure.

Grif: Dude, if you knew what I just went through, you wouldn't be saying that.