Room for Rent

Church and Tex venture into Caboose's mind to search for O'Malley.

Transcript
the blues

Tucker: Well Tex, that was a great story. I especially liked the part about Church getting pants'd in high school!

Church: (ghost) I found that part to be entirely out of context.

Tucker: But I still don't get how we're supposed to stop the AI.

Tex: (in Lopez's body) I don't remember much from the implantation process. (black and white flashback sequence to an experimental lab) I do remember that the AI can be transmitted from host to host by way of the helmet radios. Before I learned anything else, the AI took over and we escaped. If we can kill the AI and not give it a place to jump, we'll beat it! (back to normal)

Church: And then I can have my body back, deal?

Tex: Deal.

Church: Alright. Tex and I will possess Caboose then. Tucker, we need you to work on the reds. Get them to turn off their helmet radios so that O'Malley won't have anywhere to go once we get him out of there.

Tex: Right.

Tucker: What?! How the hell am I gonna do that?

Church: I don't know. Come up with a plan.

Tucker: Come on, you know how I feel about plans.

Tex: You're not gonna have much time once we get in there, so move fast.

Tucker: Oh, I see. You have no idea what I should do or how I should do it but what I do I should do it fast?

Church: Yeah that's right.

Tex: Yep.

Tucker: Wow, you guys are a lot of help..

Church: Try shifting your paradigm. Think outside the box.

Tucker: Hey, the box is there for a reason. I like thinking inside of it. I feel safe in there.

Church: Okay Tex, ladies first.

Tex: Yeah right! You think I'm gonna leave you alone out here with your body?

Church: (mumbling) Bitch...

Tex: Nice try, Leonard.

Church: Hey Caboose!

Caboose: Huh?

Church: Heads up!

''he possesses Caboose. Tex leaves Lopez and does the same.''

O'Malley: Noooo....

''zooms in on Caboose's visor and flashes to white. reveals a large gray room with walkways and large blocks coming out of the ground.''

Church: Where are we?

cut to Church (now looking normal but with white armor) and Tex (back to her black armor) on a ramp

Tex: We're inside Caboose's mind! Now we just have to find O'Malley and kill him.

Church: Man this is kind of weird.

Tex: It's hard to get used to, I know.

Church: No it's not that. (cut to normal. Church is saying his line through Caboose) It's just that this place is a whole lot bigger than I thought it was gonna be.

Tucker: Caboose, are you okay buddy?

Caboose: (repeating what Church said) This place is a lot bigger than I thought it would be.

Tucker: O-kay. I'm gonna take Sheila and Lopez and figure out a way to get the reds to shut off their radios.

Caboose: Where should we start Tex?

Tucker: What?

back to inside Caboose's head

Church: I said where should we start Tex?

Tex: Just keep your eyes peeled. (Tucker comes up behind Tex) I guarantee O'Malley will come looking for us.

Church: Hey Tucker! Is that you?

Tucker: No, what're you stupid? Oh wait yes, I am me. I guess I'm stupid.

Church: What're you doing in here? You're supposed to be out there working on your part of the plan!

Tucker: Do you have any food? I love to eat all the food.

Church: What the hell? What's the matter with you?

Tex: This isn't really Tucker. We're Caboose's head, this is Caboose's mental image of Tucker.

Tucker: Man, I am so unbelievably stupid!

Church: Oh that's great, everyone we meet in here is bound to be as brain dead as Caboose, then.

Caboose approaches from behind

Caboose: I wouldn't be so sure of that, Mister Church.

cut to reds in the real world

Grif: Great idea sir. I finally agree with you.

Donut: Hey guys. We might have a problem here. Somebody, and I'm not gonna say who, might've thought that one of the cyborg parts we need for Simmons' surgery was a cupholder. And somebody, not naming any names here, might've left it, along with their favorite smooth jazz compilation CD, in the Warthog. I just don't know who would do such a thing.

Grif: Was it you?

Donut: Yes, uh no! (clears throat) I mean, NO! Dammit.

Sarge: Grif, you and Lacey Liston(?) scroll on down and retrieve that part from the Warthog. Post Haste!

Grif: Sir, do you think it's safe to be outside the base right now? For all we know is the blues could've already fixed their tank. They could be advancing on us as we speak.

Sarge: Ahh, corny dogs! Even with Lopez helping them, it'll take them months to get that tank online, much less to get it moving again.

Donut: I hope your right, because if I saw that tank heading towards me, I'm totally gonna freak out!

camera quickly moves across the canyon to Tucker, Sheila, and Lopez

Tucker: Man, I sure hope they don't totally freak out when they see us coming!