Dick Simmons

"Suck it, Blue!"

- Simmons to the Blue Team in An Audience of Dumb

Private First Class Richard "Dick" Simmons, also referred to as Simmons 2.0 by Sarge, is a main character in the  machinima series Red vs. Blue and he serves as the level-headed, straight man of the Red Team, voiced by Gustavo Sorola. He is a compulsive sycophant towards Sarge, despite the latter's psychopathic and frequently delusional leadership. Simmons has stated that his ethnicity is Dutch-Irish. Simmons also claims that he can mentally multiply any two large numbers, but gives an incorrect answer when tested.

Overview
Simmons is shown to be quite intelligent, much like a stereotypical nerd. He was also quite hateful towards his teammates at first, except Sarge, which causes Grif to call him a "kiss-ass". As the series progressed, however, Simmons began to treat his fellow teammates, and sometimes the Blues, with the greatest concern, respect, and compassion than most others; like friends or even family members. Simmons was intended to be the "smart, troubled guy," according to Rooster Teeth.

Simmons is also one of the most logical and intelligent characters in the series but seems to have a large ego, although he does maintain a high level of confidence. He also seems to be very self-conscious, as he considers suicide after Sarge demotes him, runs back to Blue base to cry after Church calls him a know-it-all to his face in Episode 70, only uses his own toilet at home, and usually seeks approval from several characters in the series. It's also shown that despite having different personalities, Simmons and Grif have the same curiosity and ideas, such as the reason they were sent to Blood Gulch is pointless in Season 1 or when Grif tempted him about using the armor enhancements in Revelation.

Misadventures in Blood Gulch
Simmons appears in the first episode discussing with Grif about their reasons in Blood Gulch, and then called down to name the new jeep, which they call the Warthog. When Donut arrives, both Simmons and Grif send him off on a fool's errand to get elbow grease and headlight fluid. Later, he and Grif come to save Donut with the Warthog, and pin Church and Tucker behind a rock. They then leave the jeep to find another way to get them, but are attacked by Caboose and Sheila and are forced to retreat back to their base. When Sheila attacks Red Base, the Reds are saved by Sarge's air strike.

During Tex's first attack on Red Base, he faints, but he later wakes up, reports Donut's serious injury, and guards Tex who is then a prisoner. During Church's rescue, he is knocked out by a possessed Sarge. When Donut returns, healed, pink-clad, and bearing Lopez's new voice chip, he warns Sarge to be careful when installing it, only to be ignored, and ending with Lopez speaking Spanish. As Tex launches her second attack on the Reds with Sheila, he and Sarge go to fight them off with the Warthog, only to be defeated moments later. When Lopez runs to the tank, Simmons questions weather they should go help him, with Sarge stating it would only ruin the moment.

Cyborg Body
In Season 2, Simmons and the Reds attack the Blues and take Doc as their hostage. Later, after problems with Doc and failing to return him the the Blues, Simmons is the first one to speculate that Lopez has been reprogrammed to help the Blue team after seeing a blue repair the tank. Sarge comes to the conclusion that someone should volunteer to turn into a cyborg to even the odds. That someone must be so loyal that they would never betray the team and have the capabilities to repair things; making Simmons the perfect candidate.

Simmons' new robotic body was created by Sarge, using some spare parts from a fax machine, resulting in all faxes to come through Simmons' ass. His robotic body also leads him to occasionally shoot himself in the foot and be based on a Freon-cooling system. For a while, Sarge calls him "Simmons 2.0", but, in season 4, Sarge reverts to calling him just "Simmons" again.

After the operation, Simmons remaining organs — except for his spleen, are transplanted to Grif in order to save his life after he is run over by Sheila, but it is unknown why, since Sarge claims to hate Grif (though most likely to have a legitimate reason to make Simmons a cyborg). Later the Reds make a trade of two robots to save Donut, but are confused when seeing Lopez and Shelia on their own team and then being attacked by O'Malley. The Reds and Blues are then forced to work together to fight O'Malley off. The two teams follow O'Malley into the teleporter, but with the teleporter malfunctioning, each character is separated, sending Simmons (alone) into the Teleporter Nexus.

Into the "Future"
In Season 3, Simmons attempts to reunite the teams, finding Sarge and Caboose first. After rescuing them, Simmons shows hatred toward Caboose after taking the attention of Sarge, but things get worse when Caboose activates the bomb inside Church. After reuniting all the teammates, Simmons, at the time, seems to lead everyone (except Tex) against O'Malley, and comes up with a plan to stop him. He opens a portal to Battle Creek and has the Grunts attack O'Malley; but the rest of the team are too late to destroy the bomb inside Church. After the bomb goes off, everyone (except Church) is sent into the future.

After repairing a warthog the teams found, they obtain radio contact from Tex. The two teams reunite with her, later attacking O'Malley's fortress and defeat him. Simmons then tries to locate Lopez's head, but is interupted when Caboose finds a message from Church before the entire complex shuts down. Later after the Reds get a distress signal from a "surviving red team", they follow it to the location to help them. In The Storm, the Red Team realizes that the distress signal has led them back to Blood Gulch.

Demotion
In Season 4, Simmons runs afoul of Sarge's fickle nature when he insists that Sheila is still roaming the canyon, Sarge declares him insane and demotes him. Having lost his purpose in life, Simmons suffers a breakdown, exiles himself from the Red Team, paints his armor mostly blue, and, assisted by Sheila, begins to wage a one-man war against his former team-mates. Before joining the Blue Team, Shelia tries to remember who the Blues were fighting and discovering his life is in danger tries to make a (terrible) lie. While on the Blue Team, Simmons starts noticing strange things have changed since they arrive, such as the bases having upgrades and more room when no one has been their since they left, making him question what has happened.

Simmons actually succeeds in "capturing" Grif, forcing Sarge and Donut to launch a rescue operation. But the two are foiled by Church, who suddenly returns to Blood Gulch. Although Simmons attempts to hide his true identity from Church, the latter privately reveals to Sheila that he has recognized Simmons all along. Tired of being used by him, Simmons challenges Church's authority, causing Church to contact Vic Jr. indirectly. After apparently hearing Church's conversation with Vic Jr., Simmons returns to the Red Base to relay information. With the rest of the Reds reluctant to accept him back, Simmons changes into maroon armor. Nevertheless, after a quick trial, Sarge imposes a hefty fine for treason and insubordination, to be split between himself and Grif.

Going forward, Sarge frequently called Simmons a traitor until Season 5, when Simmons went back to his normal role. Sarge seems to like Simmons even more, even saying that Simmons burying Sarge alive was a multi-layered tactic and that his treasonous insurrections hold the unit together. After rejoining the Red team, they find Lopez and have a message from command. When this message reveals no real information, Simmons and the reds are suddenly attacked by Church and Shelia, which Church explains every thing bad happening at their base, with only the Reds wondering about how Tucker is pregnant. The Blues retreat after Caboose reports on what just happened. Donut decides to see the baby after hearing that it was born, but is then crushed by a ship.

Red Team Takeover
At the start of Season 5, Simmons is concerned about trying to get the ship off of Donut, pointing out the best ways to do so, but Sarge ignores these ideas. When it is revealed that it is Grif's sister was in the ship, she states that she is their to replace their dead commander (really the Blue's), so he convinces Sarge that he is dead to become the new red leader. Yet, when it is revealed that Sister is on the Blue's team, Simmons realizes that now he and Grif need to go rescue their missing teammates from underground. Once they get underground, Simmons and Grif do contact Sarge and Donut, but are later drugged. When Simmons comes to, Grif is gone but then Sarge and Dount find him after Sarge realizes that Grif has his shotgun.

While underground, the Reds try to make contact with Vic Jr., but Simmons starts hearing an echo in a section of the caves and discovers that Vic Jr. was there communicating with Sarge, but then disappears, making Simmons believe that he has been lying. Once after getting back to the surface the Reds take the Blue Base but then come to save the Blues from the Wyomings. In the final episode, Simmons was possessed by O'Malley and when threatening to kill Sarge reveals that he'll take over the universe with an iron fist. But after the A.I. leaves Simmons mind, Simmons becomes normal again and figures out how to blow up the ship (if Church's plan fails) by using Andy. After the battle and witnessing the explosion, Simmons is last seen with Grif spying on the Blues, happy that things are back to normal, but then they go back to base to see the new motorcycles.

Later Adventures
After the events of The Blood Gulch Chronicles, Simmons, along with Grif, is transferred to a different base, with Grif being promoted to staff sergeant. Grif brings all of his typical laziness and incompetence to the role and the two soon face a firing squad for selling their ammo to the Blue Team (precisely what Simmons did to deserve this is unknown, though he might have taken part in selling their ammo to the Blues with Grif).

Sarge, on a mission to stop Washington, rescues them, and the three attack Wash and the Blues. An attack by the Meta forces them to team up, and Simmons and the other Reds assist Wash and Church in infiltrating the Freelancer Base after facing some Freelancer soldiers in Valhalla. Here his insecure side surfaces again after Sarge praises Caboose for being willing to sacrifice himself for Church. When the group split up, Sarge has Simmons hack into command so that they can delete the Blues. However, Simmons has second thoughts after finding the data, but Sarge quickly erases them before they regroup. When Wash and Church are presumably killed in the base's explosion, the Reds and Caboose escape, and are awarded a base at Valhalla as a result.

In Recreation, Simmons slowly realizes that Sarge doesn't give him the respect that he thought he once had and becomes more unwilling to follow Sarge's orders, causing the roles of Simmons and Grif to switch, surprising the entire Red Team. Later, when Sarge and Grif leave to help Caboose in finding Tucker, he seems to take charge of the remaining Reds and tries to blow up the Blue base, but is slowed down when he accidentally insults Lopez for being a robot and later a Mexican when trying to apologize. He is again slowed down when he learns from Donut that Caboose still has the Epsilon A.I. When he tries to finish his goal of blowing up the Blue Base, he finds Donut in the Blue Base meeting the Meta, then runs for his life to the Red Base.

After a continuous battle with the Meta, the Red team tries to get to safety as Simmons, Donut, and Lopez make a suicide run to find the Meta's vehicle. When he finds the vehicle (by running into it as it is cloaked), they realize that it no longer functions. As a last attempt of saving the Red Team, Simmons tries to use the vehicle's machine gun turret to destroy the Meta, unfortunately it can't move due to the Warthog not functioning. Washington then appears, seemingly to save the Red's, but reveals that he is working with the Meta and demands to have the Epsilon unit. The Red's, still confused, don't give an answer, making Washington shoot Lopez in the head and then Donut in the stomach, leaving Simmons alive. He then calls to Donut, hoping that he is alive.

Taken Prisoner
In Revelation, Simmons is forced to call for a medical officer (Doc) and reveals that Donut is dead. Before Washington and the Meta knock Doc out, he says he is sorry for putting Doc in the middle of the problem, wishing it wasn't him who was sent. When Doc wakes up Simmons explains most of what has happened and is forced to trick Sarge to return to Vahalla, but (accidentally) explains what has happened in a secret message. When the remaining Reds return, Simmons comes up with the idea of saving both him and Doc by overloading Doc's medical scanner to release a blast that could "reset" the Meta's systems, but when they get a chance to do it both are too scared to do so, then a large explosion is heard (where Washington was fighting the Reds), making the Meta decide to kill them.

However, Doc shoots the Meta with the blast causing the Meta to reset it's time control setting affecting itself just as Simmons predicted. Doc seems happy of himself, however Simmons states that the Meta is still a threat since he's moving at the same strength and speed, just that time is distorted at the moment; Doc refuses this fact and when the Meta touches Doc, he is thrown into a wall. Simmons attempts to help him but is forced to escape alone, due to the fact that the Meta was nearly done "recharging". He jumps onto the Warthog but unsuccessfully grabs onto the gun turret and is dragged by the Warthog's rear, before being destroyed by the Meta. When the Meta prepares to eliminate the Reds, Epsilon suddenly arrives and leads the Meta away. The Reds then escape Valhalla, with Epsilon sealing their exit with a blast from his laser.

The Reds and Epsilon return, as Simmons is seen trying to fix Epsilon's systems before it is kicked away by Grif. Then, Grif tells him to be be cool which he does with a gangster impression. Once the Blues show up to see if they have Epsilon, the Reds (and Caboose) flee. They find Epsilon in the minefield but do not attempt to retrieve him. Unaware that it is a minefield, Simmons attempts to grab Epsilon but detonates a mine and gets caught in an explosion. While Epsilon is talking to Caboose, Simmons says that Blue Team has more stuff going on, all that ever happens in Red Team is food and guns. Sarge and Grif then confirm this as Grif says that he is hungry, and Sarge replies "Shut up or I'll shoot you in the head." He later joins Grif and Sarge to follow Caboose and Epsilon, unaware that Tucker is also following them.

Learning the Truth
Simmons is next seen outside the Freelancer Offsite Storage Facility with Sarge and Grif. After realizing that by posing as Agents of Project Freelancer, F.I.L.S.S. would give them access to the facility, the Reds create Freelancer names in order to obtain access, but Grif calls himself Agent Pluto, ruining the attempt. Sarge shoots F.I.L.S.S.'s module interface, giving them access. They hear banging and arrive at a door that Caboose appears to be guarding. While they try and find out what's behind the door from Caboose, the door begins to get large dents in it from something on the other side. Caboose walks away as Tex sends the door flying and then attacks the Reds, causing them to retreat. After being seperated from his team, Simmons asks for Caboose's help, with the latter giving Simmons a rocket luancher.

Simmons meets Tucker on his way back and devises a plan with him; however, Tucker gives away his position. Tex then proceeds to pummel the Reds and Tucker, until Epsilon arrives. Tex begins to beat up Church, until they are all sent into Armor Lock where Simmons and the other Reds argue. Simmons believes them to be in purgatory and when hearing Church believes him to be the voice of God. Simmons along with Grif and Sarge is sent out of armor lock when they agree not to hurt Tex. When Tex goes to find data files to find out who she is, Sarge sends Simmons with her so he can re-add the Blues back into the database. When Epsilon comes up to check on Tex and Simmons, Simmons says that, as Tex isn't constantly pounding him in the face, everything is going well. He then leaves to tell the rest of Red Team that Washington used to wet the bed.

Later, while taking inventory, Grif comes to see Simmons overlooking some armor enhancements. He hooks up Grif with a Speed Unit and Grif runs around the whole facility, eventually coming back where he started, crashing into a wall. Simmons later goes back to the files and, with the help of F.I.L.S.S., re-enters the Blues back into the database. While there, he also discovers that the war truly is fake, upsetting Sarge. As a following result, Sarge quits the army. When Caboose comes out to tell the others that Church and Tex are in danger Sarge decides to go with him surprising Simmons and the others. Sarge then makes a speech to the others, where he tells Simmons that he believed the latter would be given his own squad a thousand times over. After Sarge's speech, Simmons tells everyone he knows how to get to Epsilon and Tex: by Pelican.

He later comes after the defeat of Agent Tex saving Washington from The Meta along with Sarge, Grif, Tucker, and Caboose. He is sent along with the rest of Red Team to find power supplies to sustain the memory unit while Wash tries to get Tex out. However the Meta returns and continues to fight Wash. When Simmons hears it he picks up a rocket launcher and heads out to join the fight. He fires several rockets at the Meta, one of which is deflected when the Meta is in the air, before the Meta tries to kills Simmons by using his brute shot, but Simmons blocks it using his rocket launcher, which is sliced in half. He later helps Grif push the Warthog over the cliff, taking the Meta as well.

The Meta attempts to kill Grif by grabbing him, but Simmons is able to grab hold of Grif briefly, preventing the Meta to succeed; however, he looses his grip and Grif falls over the edge. He expresses concern and wants to look over the edge, but Sarge tells him not to saying it would be a waste of time. He is happily surprised when Grif is revealed to be hanging on the Brute Shot over the edge. Simmons then attempts to aid Caboose with the capture device but can't stop it from shutting down. After being talked to by a soldier, he and the rest of Red Team begin to talk about Blue Team's new member. They then steal a Hornet to go back home.

Rescuing Epsilon
He went on the mission with the other Reds and Blues, along with Carolina, to rescue Epsilon. He was the driver of one of the extraction Warthogs, and after Grif comes in in a big entrace, where he kills two UNSC soldiers in the process, Simmons comes in slowly, listening to Boheavian music. Tucker complains that Simmons followed all of the traffic laws, despite being in a high speed chase.

Later, when Grif is arguing with Carolina about the pit stop they're taking, he mentions "taking pictures of funny street signs" to which Simmons replies "Bonner St." saying it was so close. Simmons then acknowledges his worry towards Carolina to Sarge and Grif, believing that she would betray them when they need help. After viewing more of Carolina's actions, the Reds agree on the conclusion of Simmons' theory about her and decide to abandon the mission. However, Washington convinces them to stay by stating that an ambush may be waiting for them back at their base, due to them being wanted criminals.

The Reds, Blues, and Carolina venture off to Sandtrap, where Carolina and Washington leave them to find C.T. Sometime later, the Reds make a truce with the Blues in order to talk about their concerns about Carolina. While they try to figure out how to get closer to Carolina without her knowing, Simmons asks Caboose if he could transfer Epsilon into something bigger than his previous monitor. Caboose confirms this and it is soon revealed that Simmons plans to insert Epsilon into Carolina's Mongoose to spy on her. When Carolina departs with Epsilon, the group gather inside the temple. Afterwards, when Carolina returns, she informs everyone that they heading to Outpost 17-B.

Return to Valhalla
The Reds, Blues, and Carolina arrive at Valhalla, where Simmons warns Carolina about the ambush awaiting them. Confused, Carolina tells him that there is no ambush and then orders him and the Reds to stay put. However, after Grif states that he gets paid overtime (much to Simmons' shock), he leaves to the base. Sarge and Simmons then run off to find Lopez, in which they find the latter mounted on post as a scarecrow. They also discover a hut containing Donut and Doc, who happily greets them. Upon returning to the Red base, Simmons and Grif discuss "why they are here", with Simmons coming up to the conclusion that they are here because of the Director, due to the fact that he caused them all their problems. Sarge joins them and adds that if they do kill the Director, their lives will become much worse.

After talking to Carolina, Epsilon gathers everyone inside the Red team's Holographic Chamber, where the final plan to kill the Director is discussed. However, the group refuse to help Epsilon and Carolina on their mission, with Sarge calling it "their personal vendetta" and adding that Epsilon and Carolina's mission isn't their fight, in which Simmons agrees on. This causes Epsilon to get mad and blame the group for all his problems, which results in the group to leave the chamber, disgusted by Epsilon's words.

Sometime later, the Blues manage to take all of the Red's equipment, where Simmons embarrassingly states that he sucks in order to gain back their items. When Wash questions what else do the Reds have, Grif reveals the Meta's Brute shot to them. The teams soon argue, but Doc interrupts them and gives an inspirational speech to the Reds and Blues, reminding them on how much they have changed since they first met and, in the end, all got what they wanted, such as Simmons being reunited with his old teammates.

Rescue Mission
Following Doc's speech, the Reds and Blues decide to go help Epsilon and Carolina but Wash reminds them that the mission will be dangerous and the Director plays for keeps. Sarge, however, tells Washington that despite their troubles with Freelancers, the Reds and Blues have always managed to overcome them, due to having each other's backs. Simmons also adds that they gave Wash another chance after facing the Meta, and Wash, as a result, agrees to help.

Suddenly, a trio of UNSC Hornets surround the group and attempt to arrest them, but the Reds and Blues manage to take the Hornets and fly off to Carolina and Epsilon's location. The group find Carolina being attacked by an army of robotic Tex drones and quickly rescue her. The group soon then go into battle against the army and eliminate multiple Tex drones, but are soon overwhelmed. Epsilon successfully manages to shut down the drones and then tells the group that he and Carolina must complete the next task alone.

Shipwrecked
After Carolina and Epsilon confront the Director, they decide to relocate the Reds and Blues to a place where they can call home. However, on their way back home, the Reds and Blues crash land a pardoned ship in an unknown location. So as a result, they build temporary bases to reside in until they are can be found. At Red base, after Sarge "borrows" the Blue team's tank, he, along with Simmons, uses it to rejuvenate the base. Wash stops the Reds' antics and tells them that they must focus on repairing a communications dish in order to get help before they run out of food, before retreating to Blue base with the tank.

Later, the Reds discuss the problems of the base layout, designed by Simmons. Simmons argues that it was the best he could make, but Grif and Sarge don't commend him for it. Eventually, Sarge decides to split the base in half, with Simmons and Grif sharing one half. Simmons, however, soon begs Sarge to split the base equally, due to Grif's laziness and filthiness. When Wash comes to grab some tools from the Reds, Simmons asks Sarge that they could use the robot kit parts from the ship to aid in repairing the communications dish. However, Sarge decides to rather make a robot and have it aid in the construction instead. As a result, Sarge constructs Lopez 2.0 and takes him to the comm tower.

Soon after, the Reds meet up with the Blues at the comm tower and ask to help repair it, but Wash declines. However, Lopez 2.0 manages to fix the tower, allowing the group to make contact with Donut, who agrees to rescue them. Overjoyed, the Reds and Blues celebrate until Caboose reunites with them and introduces his new robot pet Freckles. Concerned about an enemy advantage, Sarge orders Simmons and Grif to recon on Blue team. However, as they spy on the Blues, Tucker sees them, so Simmons and Grif reveal that they were ordered to spy on them and that he doubts the Blues are planning anything. Tucker reveals that they're only following Wash's orders (which consist of drills, cleaning, and a organized chart), causing Simmons to decide to stay with the Blues so he can avoid his team's disorganization and uncleanliness while he enjoys the Blue team's arrangements.

Personality
Simmons is portrayed as a stereotypical nerd, as he enjoys working, staying logical, and telling jokes that only he seems to enjoy. Simmons is also a very considerate person, as he has been shown to be very compassionate and kind to many characters. In addition to being intelligent and logical, Simmons enjoys being in physical combat, as he was ecstatic when the Reds attacked the Blues in 1.21 Giga-Whats?? and Everything Old is New Again and the Wyoming clones in Repent, the End Is Near; he also seemed quite annoyed when Carolina told him to stay put when the group returned to Valhalla.

Simmons seems to also be very forgiving, such as when he returned to the Red team in Season 4 and gave Washington, Carolina, and Epsilon second chances. Though he has many positive traits, Simmons does have some flaws. Simmons is shown to be very self-conscious, causing him to breakdown and sometimes cry. It's also shown that he easily becomes jealous and annoyed, which at one point made him betray his team. However, Simmons is still a caring soldier and will do what he can for his team and friends.

Relationships
Simmons has developed various relationships with many characters throughout the series.

Shotgun!
During the Blood Gulch Chronicles, Simmons has called shotgun for the Warthog before Grif almost every time since episode 2. However later in the series, Simmons has had the misfortune of not calling shotgun in time, being constantly beaten by Grif. He nearly broke this streak in Reconstruction: Chapter 9, however Grif promptly pulled rank on him and took the passenger seat for himself and is later mentioned in Reconstruction: Chapter 19 after the Reds and Caboose obtain Valhalla for bases. Since then, the gag was absent in the series until Out of Body, as after Epsilon is implanted into Carolina's motorbike, Grif states that Simmons can call shotgun 'this time' but he refuses. It was also voted by fans to be the best running joke on The Best of Red vs. Blue Awards.

Shouting Injuries
During The Blood Gulch Chronicles, every time Simmons is hit or knocked unconscious, he shouts where he is hurt, for example, "Ow, the back of my head!", "The front of my face!", or "The back of my lower legs!" He even goes as far as saying "Ooh, the back of your head!" when Church knocks out Sarge before he executes Simmons for treason. It's briefly referenced when York was punched by the Sleeveless Insurrectionist.

Ethnicity
Also, a running gag of Simmons' dubious ethnicity begins when Grif, unable to understand Lopez's Spanish, believes Simmons can translate, due to being "of a Latino persuasion." Simmons, however, insists that he is Dutch-Irish in Points of Origin. This is referenced a few more times before being dropped, until it is resurrected in Season 4, where Donut lists the language menu options when called by Simmons, and says "For unconfirmed Dutch-Irish, press one too, as in, also."

The joke returns in episode 99, when the Reds (except Donut) fight the Wyoming copies in the Warthog. As Simmons shoots at them with the chain-gun, he says "Suck it, cracker!". Wondering why he would use such a slur, Grif asks "Cracker? I thought you said you were Dutch-Irish!" Since then, the joke has been less referenced in later seasons, only being mentioned a few times. The gag is also related with his own voice actor, Gustavo Sorola, on his own ethnicity.

"Wanna talk about it?"
During The Blood Gulch Chronicles someone will say something odd then Simmons will ask if they want to talk about it. He has had this discussion with Grif and Sarge in seasons 1 and 2. In Season 4, the gag returns, but reversed, as Simmons (on Blue team) tried to convince Church Donut's armor was pink and Church asked if he wanted to talk about it. It appears again in Recreation reversed, as Simmons said something odd and Donut asked to talk about it. It is also used between Sarge and Epsilon in Season 10 with Sarge asking if Church had a fetish with women with quick tempers.

"Suck it Blue!"
Simmons has developed an urge to tell an enemy, most commonly the Blues, to 'suck it' since Season 2. The phrase, much like Tucker's catchphrase, has become a staple of Simmons' character and has become very popular. There are multiple different variations as well as the series progressed, such as: "Suck it Red!", "Suck it cracker!", and "Suck it Freelancers!" This quote was also voted to be Simmons' most memorable quote by fans in The Best of Red vs. Blue Awards special.

Weaponry
Simmons has been shown to have some skills as a soldier, defeating some of the Wyoming clones with some degree of ease using the Warthog's turret. He also claims to be an expert at handling rocket launchers, as shown in Recreation, Revelation, and Season 10. Simmons' skill with the rocket launcher is basic yet effective as he was able to force the Meta onto the defensive in n+1, which made the Meta target him as the prime threat, and was also able to eliminate several Tex drones with the weapon in Season 10. Because of his skills with both the warthog turret and rocket launcher, Simmons could be considered the heavy weapon specialist of the Red team.

Combat
Simmons is also physically fit, for example: in Season 1, after running back to Red base, Grif is clearly out of breath but Simmons isn't; in Season 5, he successfully lands on his feet from dropping hundreds of feet from the air when entering the caves; in Recreation, he was shown to out run the Meta's blasts; and in Revelation, he was able to hold on to the warthog while being dragged by it and after the Meta destroyed it. Also, Simmons has quick reflexes as shown throughout the series, such as when facing the Meta, where he was able to avoid the Meta's fire and quickly blocked the Meta's brute shot blade with his own rocket launcher.

Intelligence
Simmons greatest strength is his intellect and proves to be one of the smartest characters in the series. Sarge considers Simmons the Red Team's unofficial science officer, something Simmons approves of. He has keen computer skills, as he was able to control the teleporters in reuniting with everyone and was able to hack into Project Freelancer's main computers. Simmons also seems to have knowledge of physics, sometimes quoting Einstein's Theory of Relativity and making scientific observations of situations that others, such as Grif and Sister, find incomprehensible. He has some skills in engineering as well, as he was shown to successfully insert an armor enhancement on Grif in Revelation and when he and Caboose were able to install Epsilon into Carolina's mongoose in Season 10.

Also it's shown in Season 3 that Simmons can use holographic projections by unknown means. When the Reds and Blues find out that they are only simulation troopers, Grif asks why Simmons would be with them, since he seems so smart. Simmons states that time tests are not fair as it's not how fast you know the information, but that you know it at all. This, along with other skills Simmons has, makes him possibly the only Blood Gulch soldier worth any actual military status.

Leadership
Due to having a great deal of skill, compassion, and a high intellect for being a simulation trooper, Simmons has shown a great degree of leadership. Such as in Make Your Time, where he not only leads the Reds, but the Blues as well, and together briefly defeated O'Malley using the Grunts; or in Recreation, he took command of the Red team in Valhalla and was able to defend against the Meta with no casualties until Washington appeared. Sarge even states that command would've given him his own squad to lead.

Kills
With his surprising amount of skills, Simmons has successfully killed many of the Wyomings using the Warthog's machine gun turret in Episode 99, and the same for two soldiers in Vahalla, in Reconstruction: Chapter 13. He also helped Sarge and Grif kill the Meta in Revelation and managed to kill several Tex drones in Season 10 using a rocket launcher.

Inconsistencies

 * In Why Are We Here?, Simmons is shown to be annoyed when Sarge demands to see him and Grif, while Grif seems quite positive. The staff would seemingly switch the relationship of Simmons and Grif with Sarge for the rest of the series.
 * In Season 3, Simmons is shown to not only have great skills with teleporters, but also can use a holographic projection, yet it's never explained on screen. Although it's mentioned in the Season 3 commentary that it was planned to be explained as having something to do with him being a cyborg.
 * Even though Simmons is part cyborg, due to a majority of his organs being transferred to Grif after he got hit by Sheila, the EMP in Reconstruction finale doesn't affect him at all. Simmons' status of a cyborg was largely ignored after Season 3, seemingly forgotten until being mention in Recreation and again in Season 11. He also states that he's only 1/8 cyborg, but this would be unlikely as Sarge lists down many organs he removed from him, meaning he's either wrong or Sarge didn't remove as many as he stated.
 * Although Simmons is a skilled and intelligent soldier, he was placed in the 10% of worst soldiers. This is brought up by Grif and Sarge in Revelation after learning the truth of the simulation tests, who see it as odd. Simmons defends himself by mentioning he is simply a slow tester, which pushed him into the lower percentile.

Trivia

 * Dick is short for Richard, making Simmons' name "Richard Simmons", a reference to the famous exercise video actor.
 * In The Rookies, Grif's story about Simmons not wanting to go to the Vegas Quadrant is a real-life reference to when Gustavo Sorola didn't want to go to Las Vegas with his fellow employees.
 * Simmons was the first cyborg introduced in the series and is one of the only two shown.
 * Sheila and Church call Simmons 'tomato can,' which he takes offense to.
 * Simmons was sometimes portrayed by a red-colored Spartan in the Halo: Combat Evolved engine, due to the fact that Spartans of different color could not board the same warthog. Because there was a noticeable difficulty in differentiating between the game's red and maroon colors, this allowed Rooster Teeth to have Simmons and Sarge board a Warthog at the same time. Fortunately, this issue was not present in future Halo games.
 * As shown in "Deja View PSA" where the Reds and Blues are temporarily shown in Hemorrhage, Simmons gained the ability to project holograms of himself through his Armor Ability, though the holograms will become "self aware" if not deactivated within a few minutes.
 * Simmons is the first character in the series to have an armor color scheme consisting of two colors: blue with maroon trim.
 * Simmons is shown on the Season 4 DVD box art in his blue armor, the first time he had appeared on a season DVD box art.
 * Simmons spoke both the first and last lines of The Blood Gulch Chronicles. His first line ("Hey?") asking Grif "Why they were here?" and his last line ("Fuck!") was exclaimed after Grif called shotgun on the Reds' new vehicle at the end of Episode 100.
 * Simmons might have psychological problems, due to the fact he punches mirrors when he cries, wanting Sarge to call him son, and threatening anyone by saying he'll kill them if they somehow annoy him. He also suffers from ophidophobia, the fear of snakes, as validated in Episode 89.
 * Simmons is one of the few smart characters of the Blood Gulch soldiers (examples: explaining Einstein Theories of Relativity, being the most logical of the Reds, able to hack into the Freelancers files, ect.), the others being Lopez, Church, and Tex.
 * Like everyone else in the series, Simmons is right handed in video game format. However, in This One Goes to Eleven, while in CGI animation, he appears to be left handed, possibly meaning that he's ambidextrous.
 * In Check Your Local Listings, Simmons states that he becomes very nervous when girls pay direct attention to him.
 * Simmons doesn't use anyone's toilet except his own, even though he's been in 'the war' for nearly 3-4 years. In Simmons' own words "It's going to be a very eventful homecoming."
 * The rocket launcher seems to have become Simmons' signature weapon since Recreation, as he has used it in several battles, such as: the battles against Epsilon-Tex, the Meta, and the robotic Tex-drones. He also appears with the rocket launcher on the "Simmonsisms" poster, the Red team artwork, and uses it in Red vs. Blue: Animated.
 * Simmons, along with Grif, is one of the only characters in the series to appear in all types of animation forms used in Red vs. Blue (machinima, animated, and CGI).