User:TenCents/Sandbox

Transcripts
''In a scene straight out of a classic crime movie, we open up on a dark alleyway in a city. We see the shadow of someone raising their gun.''

Jax: Wh—what are you doing?

We see in a shadow JAX is being held up by a suspiciously familiar-looking figure who has their gun trained directly at JAX’s posterior.

Jax: No. No no, please! No!

''We see the shadow of the gun fire, then jump cut to a shot of several doves flying into the air in reaction. JAX collapses as the empty shell casing is ejected onto the asphalt.''

Jax: (a la Orson Welles) Rosebud…

We hear some white noise, followed by a sudden—

Smith: Dun dun!

A card directly out of an episode of Law & Order'' reads “DARK ALLEYWAY/MURDER INVESTIGATION/SUNDAY, APRIL 23” is shown, revealing the crime scene. DYLAN is talking to SMITH and BITTERS, while PALOMO and JENSEN are far off in the background.''

Smith: (acting all official) Just a few more inquiries, ma’am, uh, did you attempt to witness any other particular individuals in the general vicinity of the area in which the crime scene was alleged?

Bitters: (sighing) Jesus Christ. Uh, what he means is didja see anybody?

Dylan: (feigning innocence) No, I just found him lying there and called the police! Is-is he okay?...did they take him to General?

Smith: We’re asking the questions if you so please! Does the alleged victim have any enemies, arch-enemies, nemesises, or particular people of an interesting nature to which the crime may be motivated by whom?

Dylan: Uh, no. I-I don’t know...Who’s the attending Doctor?

Smith: Uh, j-just a few more inquiries, if you so please, to be of grateful assistance to law enforcement investigators!

Bitters: Dude, just stop. You don’t even sound like a cop!

Smith: Just doing my job, Bitters! It’s called going by the book!

Bitters: What book?!

Smith: ''Law & Order. Dun dun!''

''We get an overhead shot as soon as he says this, with the same word card from before. And just as quickly, we cut back to SMITH and BITTERS, with BITTERS glaring at him.''

Bitters: Ugh, gross! CSI: Miami for life!

Dylan: He’s gonna be okay, right? Can you please tell me where they took him?

Smith: Ahem! Do you profess to have any knowledge of the ‘’alleged’’ victim’s next of kin?

Dylan: "Next of kin?" Is he dead?!

Bitters: (quickly) No, nono, he’s not dead.

Smith: The alleged victim was booked with a bullet lodged in his alleged posterior.

PALOMO comes running, with JENSEN coming up behind him.

Palomo: He means his butt! Dude got shot in the butt!

Jensen: Charlie, we’re supposed to be establishing a perimeter!

Palomo: I just wanna be included!

Dylan: So...he’s fine?

The camera zooms in on BITTERS like in CSI: Miami when Horatio Caine is about to make a terrible pun.

Bitters: Should be. But if you ask me, something about this case doesn’t sit quite right. It all feels rather…

Extreme close-up of his face.

Bitters: cheeky.

''Ah, there’s the pun.

And once again like in CSI: Miami we cut to a sunny sky over the city as a singing voice plays. Instead of “Won’t Get Fooled Again” by The Who, however, it’s operatic music.''

We then get a shot of the hospital, with the word card “GENERAL DOYLE GENERAL HOSPITAL/SUNDAY, APRIL 23” appearing.

Smith: (offscreen) Dun dun!

''And just as quickly, we see DYLAN looking into a hospital room, where JAX is laid out on the table. The opera music is revealed to be ambience playing from the hospital speakers.''

Dr. Grey: (offscreen, extremely passive-aggressive) I can see the headlines already!

Dylan turns to see DR. GREY is standing right next to her.

Dr. Grey: (refusing to look at Dylan) “Journalist Assaulted On Chorus! Peace Talks: Abandoned!”

Dylan: Dr. Grey, I was hoping to speak with you—!

Dr. Grey: Off the record. I’m not an official representative of Chorus, Ms. Andrews.

Dylan: You...know me?

Dr. Grey: I recognize you from your bylines. You wrote a fantastic piece about the Stewart Insurrection!

Dylan: That was almost...ten years ago.

Dr. Grey: And now you’re here! Funny, the vultures usually show up after the slaughter.

Dylan: I’m not here about the UNSC or whatever they’re planning with Chorus. I’m here about the Reds and Blues. You’ve...read about their attacks in the press?

DR. GREY finally looks at DYLAN.

Dr. Grey: Of course! Those criminals have caused substantial damage to our planet!

She just as quickly looks away.

Dylan: Well, what if I told you “those criminals” are not the Reds and Blues you know?

Dr. Grey: (highly passive-aggressive) Oh, of course not, sweetheart! When I said “criminals,” I wasn’t referring to the Reds and the Blues! (she looks at Dylan) I was referring to you !

Dylan: Beg pardon?

Dr. Grey: You and the press! By continuing to insinuate that those criminals are somehow our insurgents—a baseless accusation that the UNSC was quick to overreact to. But I’m sure invasions make for a great newsday.

Dylan: I don’t want an invasion! I can help Chorus by finding the real Reds and Blues! But Kimball won’t talk to me, I can’t get within a mile of her!

Dr. Grey: The president refuses to be interviewed…

Dylan: Yes!

Dr. Grey: ...so you shoot your cameraman.

Beat.

Dylan: ...what? (trying to save face) He was shot, but...

Dr. Grey: The clotting present in the patient’s posterior places the time of attack approximately five minutes after your call to the police. That’s some very fast reporting, Ms. Andrews!

Dylan: I—(relenting) look, I needed to talk to you. Please, help me get to Kimball.

Dr. Grey: Oh! I assumed you assaulted your cameraman to stir up cheap headlines! But instead, you flatter me!

She walks up to DYLAN.

Dr. Grey: You’re a little bit crazy, aren’t you? (seductively) I like that.

Dylan: ...so you’ll help?

Dr. Grey: Nope. President Kimball is fighting to reopen peace talks with the UNSC. I will not burden her with this!

Dylan: Well, who’s the UNSC’s diplomat?

Dr. Grey: Oooh! Are you gonna shoot them, too?

Dylan: No more shooting: I have connections at the network.

Dr. Grey: Hmm. Very well. The diplomat is Alfred Packard.

Dylan: Thank you.

Dr. Grey: Don’t thank me. Just keep me off the record!

Dylan: Not for the tip. For fixing up my partner.

Dr. Grey: HAH! If you really think he’ll still be your partner after this, then you really are crazy!

Dylan: I am prepared to deal with the consequences.

Dr. Grey: Consequences...don’t always take the shape we expect them to, do they? They’re funny like that.

The opera music starts swelling up again.

Dr. Grey: Ooh! I love this song!

''And with that, DR. GREY exits down the hallway as DYLAN watches. She then looks back at JAX.''