Church's Relationships

"It's not about hating the guy on the other side because someone told you to. I mean, you should hate someone because they're an asshole, or a pervert, or snob, or they're lazy, or arrogant or an idiot or know-it-all. Those are reasons to dislike somebody. You don't hate a person because someone told you to. You have to learn to despise people on a personal level. Not because they're red, or because they're blue, but because ya know them, and you see them every single day. And you can't stand them, because they're a complete and total fucking douchebag."

- Church in Why Were We Here?

Both Church and Epsilon have complex, yet comedic, relationships with many of the characters in Red vs. Blue. Despite constantly arguing with the members of the Blood Gulch Crew, it seems both Church and Epsilon genuinely care for them.

Blue Team
Church seems to be emotionally distant from his teammates (which he does on purpose) with the exception of Tex. However later on in the series, they, more noticeably Epsilon, develop a strong and somewhat caring relationship with them.

Tex
His most prominent relationship is that with Tex. The pair share a love-hate relationship by insulting each other on occasion, yet constantly aiding each other and dealing with their teammates together. Church apparently still loves her, though he hates to admit it when both Tucker and Gary accuse him of such. In Season 3, he apologized to her for not being a better man. Even though he has previously claimed she is not a faithful girlfriend, he seems to still harbor romantic feelings for her as he refers to her as his girlfriend in several episodes in the series and even saying that he wished to have married her. Church has also shown to be very protective of Tex as shown when he tries to get O'Malley out of her and is angered when Wyoming hints at his romantic interest in her. In addition, Church avoids the subject when "Gary" states "he still loves her."

It is also hinted in Season 2 that he still loves Tex since he wanted to get a body for her ghost. The length of all this and other events in the series show that Church will protect Tex from anything (including herself, as shown in episode 100). Also in episode 100, he was visibly distressed when the Pelican exploded with Tex in it. Apparently, Church's experiences with Tex have led him to have a very misogynistic view of women. When Caboose asked if the new member Sister was a regular girl or a mean girl, Church reminded him that "there are no regular girls." Also, when Tucker was hopeful about having two girls on the team, Church remarks that having two girls living together always leads to conflict and "somebody getting stuck with a $1,200 phone bill."

Epsilon-Tex
Epsilon developed a strong attachment to Tex, or more specifically Epsilon-Tex. When he discovered that she was based on failure, as well as a woman the Director loved, Epsilon believed that he was the only one who could save her. However, in Hate to Say Goodbye, Epsilon realized that to be at peace with himself he had to let go of his memory of Tex, which caused Epsilon-Tex to disappear. Epsilon later meets "her" one last time in True Colors, where he stopped the remaining Tex drones by possessing them. Inside their minds he reveals to a tired Tex her past and tells her that she needs to rest. Tex agrees and Epsilon says goodbye to her, finally bringing Tex to peace.

Tucker
Although Church has made threats to kill or hurt Tucker, he has never gone through with it. He does show concern when Tucker is injured, as seen in Season 2 and when he fell ill in Season 4. Over the course of the series, Church and Tucker's relationship has gone from two strangers who hated each other to having a brother-like bond (who still hate each other, just not as much). This can be seen in their dialogue as the series progresses.

Epsilon seemed to have less respect for Tucker though, possibly due to Caboose telling him stories when he was still in the memory unit, but still tells Tex that she isn't allowed to kill him when she asks in Reconfiguration. He does, however, say she can hurt him. He also showed a lot of annoyance at being inside of Tucker's storage unit in Turbulence, calling it "disgusting" and having to delete files so he could fit.

Their relationship started to become strained when Epsilon was implanted in Carolina and Tucker angrily asking why he was with her. The two have an extreme falling out once Epsilon angrily states that Tucker (along with the rest of the Reds and Blues) are nothing more than a problem he has to deal with every single day, prompting Tucker to leave the room. However, upon listening to Doc's speech, Tucker joined the rest of the team to save Epsilon.

Caboose
Church's relationship with Caboose has been one of great stress. This is due mostly to the fact that Caboose has killed Church at least three times, as well as the fact that Caboose's intelligence is dangerously below average. However, in some rare moments, Church is kind to Caboose and is sometimes amused by his antics.

For example, when Caboose explained he did not know where babies were made, Church told him that after he checked with Doc on Tucker's condition, they should have a little talk and that he had a book they could read together. They also debated the true function of Tucker's sword, where Church states that he would want to live in his (Caboose's) world for 10 minutes. The most telling sign that Church genuinely cares for Caboose is when Caboose was "killed" by Gamma, and Church showed great signs of distress and sadness. Then again, he could have just been distressed because he wanted to be the one who ultimately killed Caboose.

When they were transferred out of Blood Gulch, Church told Caboose that it would be like a game of hide and seek, and that Church could only win so long as he died without ever seeing Caboose again. As soon as Wash and Caboose showed up at his "secure facility," Church began shooting at Caboose with his iconic sniper rifle and expressed anger at having "missed" Caboose. At around the middle of the last episode of Revelation, Church seemed to care about Caboose when he said for him to be in charge of remembering him, and by saying "Goodbye buddy," although it is worth noting that this was Epsilon and therefore not technically Church.

Epsilon has a bit more friendlier relationship with Caboose than the original Church did, even putting him in charge of remembering him when he was about to go into the Epsilon Unit to find Tex. In the Season 10 episode Revenants, Epsilon couldn't believe that Caboose had moved on after he had entered the Epsilon Unit, showing that he somewhat valued his relationship with Caboose. However, in Change of Plans Epsilon becomes increasingly frustrated with the Reds and Blues after they refused to help him and Carolina kill the Director.

His frustration, as a result, leads him to refer to the group all as 'problems,' which offends them all. Hurt by his words, Caboose turns his back on Epsilon and walks away afterwards, leaving Epsilon shocked and sad. Thankfully, in Reckless, Caboose was able to forgive Epsilon, eagerly going with the rest of the gang to rescue Epsilon and Carolina. In True Colors, when the two met again, Epsilon was able to help Caboose remember how to get angry and unlock his fearsome fighting skills, implying that he has a fondness for Caboose.

Washington
Church has grudging respect for Wash, seeing him dealt a similar situation (in Reconstruction) to what he had to deal with in The Blood Gulch Chronicles. He seems generally impressed by Wash's skills but was not happy to be found, or more accurately to be reunited with Caboose. Despite his respect for Wash, Church regularly voices his opinion that he is, much like his view of all Freelancers, a cold-blooded killer and has, at times, questioned Wash's sanity. This opinion would seem accurate as, after a brief trip in Wash's mind, Church says Wash has "Some heavy stuff going on in there."

In Revelation, Epsilon seemed to hate Wash since, when he saw Washington, he yelled "Uh oh, look out its the big guy and there's... WASHINGTON!!!" In Reunion, they seem to talk very personally with each other. This may be because Epsilon wants to find Tex who is trapped within the memory unit and Washington wouldn't let him because he doesn't want him to get stuck inside it. Their relationship becomes more rocky in the Season 10 episode Revenants, due to the fact that Caboose and Tucker used Wash to replace Church shortly after he entered the Epsilon unit, going as far as giving Washington Church's place on their team, his armor, and his name. Epsilon seems to still distrust Wash to an extent because at the desert, Epsilon convinces the others not to trust Wash due to Carolina's presence. Eventually, Epsilon lets go of his animosity towards Washington and helps him defeat the Tex drones in True Colors.

Sister
The only interaction so far was Church's curiosity to see her 'Ping Pong Ball' trick. Church has also called her "that new yellow freak." Epsilon later states that he thinks Sister was interested in him.

Sheila
Sheila was the tank A.I. that blew him up, and Church seems to have forgiven her due to her listening to him. As he explained by her usefulness to the reds when they claimed that he was outnumbered- "Bullshit dude, I got a tank! People with tanks are never outnumbered!" When Church had the ghost and the warthog at blue base, Sheila was clearly jealous.

Junior
When Church met Junior, he immediately develops a disgust for it. He has said he would kill the 'Abomination of Nature' several times. When he first hears about him, Church says "I'm gonna go in there, step on its neck and shoot it in the head. 'Cause that's how I roll."

Butch Flowers
Church seemed to like Captain Flowers, at least a little, as he tried to save his life when he went back in time (though he accidentally ended up killing him). He did find some of the Captain's comments made him feel uncomfortable though.

"Themselves"
Church, upon meeting himself in mid-season 3, was irate with himself, and confused at the same time at why he was explaining things he already knew to himself. Also, he seems to show some respect, not "stealing my own thunder." Alpha and Epsilon are described as "the same, yet separate." Alpha referred to Epsilon as Wash's crazy A.I. upon discovering it, and Epsilon referred to Alpha as "kind of a dick."

Red Team
Church may be enemies with the Red Team but he does not see them as a threat. He states he doesn't hate the Reds because they are Red, but because of their individual characteristics at the end of the Blood Gulch Chronicles. Despite this, he later shows to have developed a more positive relationship with them since then as Epsilon.

Sarge
Church doesn't like Sarge due to him being the Red Team's leader as well as his stupidity. Although, in Why Were We Here?, Church seems to trust Sarge enough to ask him to disable Sheila before she lifts off. It's also shown in Rally Cap and Reckless that Sarge is willing to go save Epsilon when he gets into mortal danger.

Simmons
Church sees Simmons as a know it all, as stated in one of the episodes, when Simmons tried to spy on the Blues. Church thoroughly enjoyed it when Simmons was pretending to be a Blue because he bossed him around and insulted him to his face (Simmons not knowing Church knew it was him) just for kicks. Church has also called him "tomato can" in one episode. Despite this, he was shown to get into decent conversations and act properly when Simmons was on Blue Team.

Epsilon seems to have a similar relationship with Simmons, but seems to have a higher respect for him, as in Reunion, after Tex is forced into the Epsilon unit, he asks Simmons first for help believing him to have the best understanding. After Epsilon goes on angry rant about how the teams are responsible for the problems in his past, Simmons feels hurt. However, Simmons later comes to save him and Carolina with the rest of the teams as he believes they deserve a second chance. It should be noted that Epsilon-Simmons was the only Red team member to have his real world counterpart's personality.

Grif
Though not much has happened between these two, Church believes Grif to be the smartest and most potentially dangerous person on Red Team as he is "crafty" and "a bit like him." The two spent time as prisoners in Sidewinder and Church was somewhat annoyed by him, although they played a friendly game where they see who can belch the loudest.

Epsilon seemed to be on friendly terms with Grif as shown in Check Your Local Listings. When Epsilon begins to become angry and blame the teams in Change of Plans, Grif is the first person to attempt to leave the meeting. However, Grif later joins the teams to save him and Carolina, having stated that if they had given up everytime Church got angry, this would have ended long before.

Donut
Donut was originally the subject of Church's dislike due to the fact that he killed Tex. When Church was sent back in time, he already planned to kill Donut to prevent Tex's death but missed him several times with his sniper rifle. Since his experiences have led him to conclude the past cannot be altered and must be dealt with, and since Tex is no worse for wear in a robot body, Church seems to have lost his dislike for Donut. After briefly getting to know him, Church begins to consider Donut as "his favorite Red" and thinks of him as "pretty harmless," also saying that he "actually liked him" even though he killed Tex. Also, Church shares the belief with Donut that the latter's armor is "lightish red" and not pink.

Lopez
Though Church has possessed Lopez frequently and at length, these two have had very little contact. However, he appears to have disliked Church at one time, having been "constantly possessed and blown up" and as a result he and Sheila founded the Robot Army, which was also Church's doing, since he gave them the idea when he went back in time.

Freelancers
Out of both teams, Church seems to have the most knowledge of the Freelancer program and even seems to have known some Freelancers personally through the interaction with them and Tex at some Blue facility (As shown in Out of Mind). Church also has a hatred for the freelancers.

Wyoming
Church's relationship with Wyoming goes back as far as training as shown in Out of Mind, in which Wyoming insults Church and suggests he goes to "Learn how to get shot properly." As shown from numerous pieces of dialogue throughout Season 5, Church doesn't seem to like Wyoming much at all. Apart from his obvious distrust of Freelancers, Church seems to not like Wyoming's personality and the fact that he apologizes too much. The bomb in Season 3 that is set off due to Wyoming's shot at Tucker would no doubt leave Church disliking the bounty hunter even more.

York
Church seems to know York at least a little, due to his surprised reaction when Tex told him York was still alive. Later, Epsilon would use his data logs to comfort Carolina, as he was able to tell her what he wanted her to know. He also states that the Director should pay for what happened to York, among others.

Carolina
Church seems to know Carolina a little bit, seeing as when he was told York was still alive, he asked if Carolina was as well. But it is odd that when Delta explained that Agent Carolina was implanted with two A.I, Church seemed to have no knowledge of this. In the same conversation, Church referred to her as "That Carolina chick," implying that the two never met. Although this could have been because he didn't want Wash to figure out how much he really knew about the Freelancers.

In Hate to Say Goodbye, after Carolina reveals herself to be alive, Epsilon exclaims "Oh No!" upon seeing her. Though this is Epsilon and not Alpha. During Season 10, Epsilon questions how Carolina is alive but she doesn't give an answer. The two don't seem to get along, especially when Epsilon compared her to Tex, saying that she was "worse than Tex." Carolina promptly shot at Epsilon in anger but due to him being implanted in Tucker and appearing as a hologram, it did nothing to him.

He seems to heavily distrust Carolina and is determined to find out what her objective is, to the point of telling the Reds and Blues to think of her as an enemy. After showing her memories of Delta and York, the two began to have a much more friendly relationship with one another, as Church can sympathize with her experience of 'chasing ghosts.' They also began to trust each other, even enough for Carolina to insert Epsilon into her helmet. He even goes as far as to defend Carolina when Tucker insults her, and comforts her when she shows remorse about Tex, and advises her to let go of their rivalry.

Meta
Church shows the greatest of dislikes towards the Meta. He tries to kill the Meta during most of the Reconstruction series. But in one episode he says "Stop it? If this thing is killing freelancers, I want to start a fanclub for it, build it a website," due to his hatred of the Freelancers. Church has also gotten a lucky shot at the Meta's leg with a sniper rifle bullet bouncing off different objects. While Church is ecstatic at finally hitting something, Washington claims "It only counts if you call it!" in which Church defensively replies, "Oh bullshit, dude!" Upon finding out Church is the Alpha, the Meta, or rather the AI's in his head, instantly became obsessed with him.

Director
As the Alpha, Church is seen directly conversing with the Director in Planning the Heist, calculating the odds for the upcoming mission. He acts nonchalant to the Director and sees him as slightly inferior in terms of mind. Later, he is seen being tortured by the Director, but is unaware as to what is happening. He believes everything that the Director says and starts to go insane, leading to the creation of Epsilon.

Epsilon referred to the Director as "kind of a dick" when telling Tucker and Caboose about his origins, and even became set on making him pay for what he did to the Freelancers and himself after a conversation with Carolina. Upon meeting the Director in Don't Say It, he showed intense disgust towards him and everything he did in order to bring back Allison. He later stated that he was more than just a copy of the Director, and that he was better than him.

A.I.
Church's relationships with the A.I.s of the series is something of an odd topic. In Reconstruction: Chapter 16, Washington reveals that Church is the Alpha A.I. and all the A.I.s from Project Freelancer are fragments of his personality and emotions. Ironically, he doesn't like them much.

Omega
As said before, one A.I. had, in a way, hurt Tex, which is the main reason that he does not like them, the A.I. in question is Omega, also known as O'Malley. As the series goes on, it's made clear that O'Malley has a dislike of Church as well, though it does not seem to be as strong as Church's dislike for it. It is later revealed that Omega is a fragment of the Alpha AI representing its rage and anger. Also, when O'Malley takes Church over, he feels nothing; this is later theorized that it was simply the Omega and Alpha rejoining.

Gamma
When Church first met Gamma, he introduces himself as the computer Gary, who is the keeper of a sword that was meant for the Great Destroyer. After he told Church that the Great Destroyer was to be known as the dumbest life form in the universe, Church thought that he meant Caboose and decided to go and stop him before he could destroy anything. However, Church would have to wait a 1,000 years for Gary to make the teleporter for him to get back to Blood Gulch, during which they form somewhat of a friendship. In order to pass the time, Gary told Church possibly every kind of Knock-Knock joke he knew. Later, it is revealed that Gary is the A.I. for freelancer Wyoming and that it was his deception, which was why he was able to lie to Church.

Delta
Delta is quite possibly the only A.I. Church does not fully hate, as when the two talk to one another, they speak very calmly. This could possibly be due to the fact that Delta is one of the very few Intelligent characters Church has ever conversed with and he finds this to be a relief, or that they agree on every logical decision which may be due to sharing the exact same logic patterns. This is because Delta is the fragment of the Alpha that represents his logic. Overall, Delta is one of the few characters in the series that Church listens to and actually agrees with.

Doc
Church doesn't seem to have many problems with Doc, at least not to the same degree as the other soldiers in Blood Gulch, other than the fact that when Church mentioned they were screwed in Season 5 when they only had 2 men in action, Doc crudely reminded Church that he was "Neutral in these conflicts," which possibly angered Church even more. He happily put Doc in mortal danger by sending him to fix a malfunctioning Sheila, hoping he would fix or deactivate her by accident or die trying, a thought that amused him.

Vic/Vic Jr.
It has been apparent that Vic is very annoying, and Church has called him "That annoying guy from Command." Also, Church was ultimately responsible for the "Red and Blue" conspiracy, which was later proven true, after informing Vic. In Season 4, Church showed Simmons (currently a Blue) how to call Command, but was very surprised when Vic Jr. answered, who states he's Vic's great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandson. However, Church gets furious when Vic Jr. later calls and hangs up on him before Church could ask any questions.

Andy
Church and Andy's relationship has stayed neutral but Church contributed when the Blues were trying to make Andy calm. This was because he never wanted to die in a huge explosion even though he is already dead and is just in a robot body. Andy has insulted him a lot and Church has threatened to blow him up, but it would most likely result in his own body's death.