Case File 01.045

 is the 7th Episode of Red vs. Blue: Season 9. It was released August 1st, 2011

Project Freelancer

 * C.T.
 * Washington
 * Maine
 * Carolina (Mentioned Only)
 * Leonard Church (Mentioned Only)

Blue Team

 * Epsilon-Church
 * Tucker
 * Caboose

Plot
The episode begins with Agent Maine overviewing a Pelican land. The scene then goes to a lone Freelancer in brown armor in a room overviewing the briefing room seen last Episode. Wash walks behind her and reveals her to be Conneticut. Wash and Conneticut. C.T. seems distressed about something that happened on the last mission and Wash tries to comfort her by saying it was all their faults. However "Connie" feels that the Director is trying to seperate the best of the Freelancers from the worst with the points and missions. Wash still trying to console her says thats a lie. "Connie" just gets angrier and tells Wash to stop calling her Connie as it sounds kiddish and to call her C.T. As she walks away Wash looks down at her helmet obviously upset.

The scene then goes to Blood Gulch where Tucker is on the beach teaching Church and Caboose what to say in front of woman. Church doesn't want to do it but Tucker says he needs his help. Church then asks how Tuckers qualified to even teach them as all he does it talk about them but is never seen around one. There is another earthquake as Tucker says he's qualified and asks for questions. Caboose tries and asks one but Tucker says questions come at the end. When Church says Tucker asked for questions and why he could ask one Tucker says its because he can and then tells them the first step to getting a girl being a rebel. Caboose asks if its like a criminal and Tucker says as long as its got nothing to do with animals. He then says to let girls mold them into what they want them to be, which he also says they don't know, before he has Church and Caboose roleplay with them playing a man and woman respectively. While Caboose actually acts like a girl Church and Tucker begin to say how he wasn't and how he should be acting like a steryotypical woman talking about shoes and reality T.V. shows. Church tries to leave but Tucker says not to. He has Church hit on Caboose. When he tells Church to say something rebellious he talks about striking against the rich but Tucker says to say something rebellious not revolutionary so Church says he drives a really fast car over the speed limit to which Tucker says "There you go see its easy!"

Transcript
Freelancer Case File 01.045//Level 2 Confidential [CEDOCUNET] Mission: Failure, All Objectives appears onscreen as Maine watches a Pelican land in the stations docking bay.

(Scene cuts to a room with a Freelancer in brown armor hanging her head down as Washington walks over.)

Washington: It wasn't your fault, Connie.

Connie: Easy for you to say. You didn't drop the ball.

Washington: The ball got dropped. We were all there, it's everyone's responsibility.

Connie: Dammit, why are you doing that?

Washington: What am I doing?

Connie: Making excuses for me. I'm not making excuses for myself...why are you?

Washington: I'm trying to make you feel better.

Connie: Yeah? Great. Hey, how about you go make Carolina feel better? Go pat Maine on the head. See how that works out for you.

Washington: We all make mistakes.

Connie: No! We don't. That's the point! We don't all make mistakes. Some of us very specifically make mistakes, and other don't seem to make any mistakes at all!

Washington: Connie, come on...

Connie: That's why they're doing all this! These missions! The rankings! They're drawing a line between us, Wash. And you're either on one side of that line, or you're on the other. And it's getting pretty goddamn clear which side I'm on.

Washington: No one thinks like that; we're a team.

Connie: I'm not talking about you guys. I mean them. Him.

Washington: The Director? He's given us everything. He's helping us!

Connie: Helping us? Wake up! Wake the fuck up! He's filtering us! This is a selection process, Wash. I don't know for what, but, if you're not at the top of that board, you're not worth anything to him.

Washington: You're just overreacting. You've always been hard on yourself, Connie.

Connie: Not as hard as they are. (Hands her helmet to Washington) Not nearly as hard as they're going to be. (Connie then turns away from Washington)

Connie: And don't call me Connie. Makes me sound like a fucking kid. (Begins walking away) Call me CT. Oh, and the line that I talked about...you better hurry up and figure out what side you're on, Agent Washington. Before they figure it out for you.

(As Connie exits the room, Washington turns her helmet face-side up and looks down at it before looking up again)

(Cut to Tucker, Church, and Caboose standing out by the water at Blood Gulch)

Tucker: Alright, class is in session. Students, line up over here; teacher on this side.

Church: I'm not doing this.

Tucker: Dude, you've got a girl coming over. You don't know what to say to her. You need my help. And the first set of lessons is free.

Church: How are you qualified to teach us this stuff?

Tucker: Are you kidding me?

Church: No, no I'm not kidding. How are you qualified? You talk about girls all the time, I've never seen you with one.

Tucker: Um, I have lots of... just shut up and listen. Stay quiet and hold all your questions until the end. Now, before we start, does anyone have any questions?

Caboose: Uh, yes. I would like to kn-

Tucker: Ah ha! That was a trick question. You're supposed to hold all questions until the end.

Church: Oh yea? Why didn't you hold your trick question until the end then?

Tucker: The rules don't apply to me.

Caboose: Well then maybe my question was a...magic...question too.

Tucker: Yea, abracadabra. You're an idiot. So, we've already learned our first leason: the rules don't apply to you. Girls like a rebel, someone outside the law.

Caboose: Like a criminal?

Tucker: It depends on the crime. Nothing with animals. See, they want someone with a free and independent spirit. Something that they can crush into a raw material that can then be molded into what they really want.

Caboose: What do they really want?

Tucker: They don't know. Which is why you have to tell them what they want without actually telling them what to do.

Caboose: That sounds hard.

Tucker: That's why we're doing lessons.

Caboose: Should I...should I be taking notes?

Tucker: Do you even know how to write?

Caboose: Is that another trick question? Can I answer it at the end?

Church: Getting bored here.

Tucker: Okay, then let's do some role playing. I'll give you critiques on your approach.

Church: Roleplaying?

Tucker: Yea. Caboose, you play the girl.

Church: You want Caboose to be the woman?

Tucker: Dude, it's a lot bigger stretch for you to play a man. Trust me.

Caboose: Um, okay. What should I say?

Tucker: Just say whatever a girl would say.

Caboose: Uh, okay. Um, I uh just really want to meet someone nice. Um you know, someone who appreciates me for who I am. Not so much because I'm pretty but because they really want to get to know me because they want to find out what my interests are. Then we can spend time exploring the world and sharing all the wonderful things in life that make it wonderful.

(Both Church and Tucker pause for a few second and look at him)

Tucker: What!? Do you know girls at all? Talk about how much you like shoes.

Church: Yea and about reality TV shows.

Tucker: Here, Church you start. Just hit on Caboose. Caboose, act like you like Church.

Caboose: I've been preparing for this role my whole life.

Tucker: Shut up. Okay, Church your girlfriend just got to base. You see her and you say...

Church: Uh hey...hey there.

Caboose: Hello. Giggle. Blinking eye lashes. Puppy.

Church: Alright, I'm out. I can't do this.

Tucker: Don't be a baby. Caboose, stop making sound effects. You're a girl now. Girls can't make sound effects.

Caboose: Quietly angry.

Tucker: And stop narrating.

Caboose: Okay. Fine.

Tucker: There you go. That's it. That's a girl. Okay Church, hit it. Action!

Church: Uh uh hey uh what are you doing? What's up? Uh uh, what's up with what you're doing?

Tucker: Smooth. Caboose.

Caboose: Okay, um, yes I was just sitting here thinking about shoes and celebrities that only have first names.

Tucker: Perfect.

Caboose: Actually if you want the truth I feel like I have to say these things to make myself more appealing when I reallly think that I should jus-

Tucker: Stop it.

Caboose: Okay sorry. Okay sorry!

Tucker: Church, say something rebellious.

Church: Uh okay I think the working class should uprise against the rich people.

Tucker: I said rebellious not revolutionary.

Church: Oh okay. I drive a fast car over the speed limit. All the time.

Caboose: I will go with you anywhere.

Tucker: See? It's easy!

Trivia

 * This episode marks the beginning of Agent Conneticut's name C.T.
 * C.T.'s real name is revealed to be Connie.
 * This episode marks the fourth time a character is seen without their helmet, in this case C.T.
 * When Tucker says the phrase about the trick question is a reference to chapter 10 of Recreation.
 * The situation of 'a member of the Blue Team teaching to another on how to talk to girls' is a reference to Episode 90 of the Blood Gulch Chronicles, season 5.